“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart,” (16&17/17), olicity s5 AU fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape), attempted suicide

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. Started off as a future fic but is now technically alternate canon/AU (takes places starting in early December 2016).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. 17 chapters total, NOW COMPLETE!  Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters:  Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2, Chapter3, Chapter4, Chapter5, Chapter6, Chapter7, Chapter8, Chapter9, Chapter10, Chapter11, Chapter12, Chapter13, Chapter14)

Tagging: @hope-for-olicity@memcjo@miriam1779@pleasantfanandstudent @laksagirl @bifelicitys

AN: I posted the final two chapters at once, as promised. Enjoy! :)

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <– Chapter Fifteen: Coming Home to You –>

In the end, Felicity and John agree that they should hear what the man has to say - but not without precaution.

They send Wild Dog upstairs to get him. After checking the man for weapons, Rene leads Ivan down to the bunker, his gun pressed to his back the entire time.

Ivan goes quietly and without protest.

When they arrive downstairs, John greets them from under the hood of the Green Arrow suit while Felicity and the rest of the team wait off in the training area, watching from Felicity’s tablet. Rene takes a few steps back from the stranger, but he doesn't lower his gun.

“Ivan Wilcox, do you know who I am?” John asks, his voice disguised by the modulator in Oliver’s suit.

“I know you’re not the Green Arrow,” Ivan answers. “Oliver Queen is the Green Arrow, and you’re merely standing in for him. Other than that, no. I don’t know who you are.”

John considers him silently for a moment, then decides to keep pressing.

“I understand you have information for me,” John says, choosing neither to confirm nor deny Ivan’s words, while realizing that his silence on the matter is probably confirmation enough.

“Yes, sir,” Ivan responds. “It concerns a man who calls himself ‘Prometheus.’ He’s the one who tortured your friend Oliver Queen, and countless others. I have information that can help you stop him.”

“Why should I trust you?” John asks him.

“You have no reason to,” Ivan admits. “Not yet, at least. But if you’ll listen to what I have to say I think you’ll find that we both want the same thing.”

“To stop Prometheus,” John growls, and Ivan nods.

“Yes.”

John watches the man carefully, like he’s waiting for something.

Then he nods.

“I’ll hear you out, Ivan. But I have one condition.”

Five minutes later, Felicity sits behind her computers once more. Rene, Evelyn, Rory, and Curtis all stand behind her.

Downstairs, John closes the door to the prison cell.

“I appreciate your compliance, Ivan,” John says, stepping away from the cell and crossing his arms over his chest.

“I understand your hesitance,” the man assures him. “If I were in your shoes I’d do the same.”

John nods. “Start talking, Mr. Wilcox. The rest of my team is listening. After we’ve heard what you have to say, we’ll decide where to go next.”

“Yes, sir,” Ivan agrees. Then he looks down at his tablet, still clutched tightly in his hands. He takes a long, deep breath, and when he looks back up at John, his calm demeanor finally breaks. “The first thing you need to know is that Prometheus isn’t just a man. He’s a monster.”

And so, with trembling voice and fear in his eyes, Ivan Wilcox tells them everything he knows about the monster called Prometheus.

(read the rest on AO3)

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart,” (15/17), olicity s5 AU fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape), attempted suicide

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. Started off as a future fic but is now technically alternate canon/AU (takes places starting in early December 2016).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters:  Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2, Chapter3, Chapter4, Chapter5, Chapter6, Chapter7, Chapter8, Chapter9, Chapter10, Chapter11, Chapter12, Chapter13)

Tagging: @hope-for-olicity@memcjo@miriam1779@pleasantfanandstudent @laksagirl

If anyone wants to be tagged/untagged please let me know. :)

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <– Chapter Fourteen: Coming Home to Myself –>

Slowly but surely, Oliver begins to come back to himself.

Slowly but surely, Oliver begins to heal.

To Felicity, it feels like he’s healing all over again - like they’re reliving all those months before he tried to take his own life - but with one major difference.

This time, Oliver’s talking.

He talks to her, and to John, and to Thea and Donna and Quentin.

He doesn’t talk a lot at first. Just simple words like “please” and “thank you” and “yes” or “no,” but after a few days he starts saying more and more, including small sentences.

“Oliver, do you want me to read to you before we go to sleep?”

“I’d like that.”

“Oliver, what do you want from the cafe on the corner?”

“Hot chocolate.”

“Do you want to come with me?”

“I...I don’t know. Maybe….”

“Tomorrow?”

“...yes. Maybe tomorrow.”

Oliver continues to sign as he grows used to speaking again, and as the days turn to weeks, he speaks more and more.

Oliver also begins to spend time with his loved ones again, and he goes back to doing all the things he used to enjoy doing with them.

He watches soaps with Donna.

He watches movies with his sister, and they even start to play card games together (something they haven’t done since Thea was a kid).

He begins to work out with John again, starting off with simple exercises: walks up and down the stairs, situps and pushups, even a bit of yoga (Felicity has never seen either of them do it before but it really seems to help Oliver relax, especially on the bad days). The exercising helps him a lot. The endorphins released improve his mood greatly, and combined with a steady diet and his continued use of medication, Oliver grows healthier and stronger every day.

Oliver still likes it when Felicity reads to him every night, and she continues to do so.

Oliver also continues to see his therapist. He only uses sign language with her to start, but as he begins to talk more and more with Felicity and the rest of his family, he also begins to talk more with Dr. Martinez. In time, the therapy begins to help him more than Felicity ever dared to hope it could.

Oliver even takes up his drawing again. Now it seems to help him the way it did in the beginning - and maybe even more - because sometimes he’s actually willing to talk to her about what he’s drawn. He draws both Good and Bad things, but the Bad drawings don’t seem to make him break down like they used to. Eventually, the Good drawings outweigh the Bad once more, and they move on to covering a third wall of the loft.

In time, Oliver also begins to go outside again. He starts off small, taking occasional, short trips with the people he loves. A trip to the cafe on the corner for hot chocolate with his sister. A walk in the park with Felicity and Mrs. Huff’s dog, or a jog in the park with John. He even goes grocery shopping with Donna to find ingredients for new cookie recipes, which he helps her bake (he still won’t cook on his own, but every once in awhile he likes to help John make dinner).

It’s a long, hard journey, but Felicity is patient with Oliver every step of the way.

(read the rest on AO3)

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart,” (14/17), olicity s5 AU fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape), attempted suicide

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. Started off as a future fic but is now technically alternate canon/AU (takes places starting in early December 2016).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters:  Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2, Chapter3, Chapter4, Chapter5, Chapter6, Chapter7, Chapter8, Chapter9, Chapter10, Chapter11, Chapter12)

Tagging: @hope-for-olicity@memcjo@miriam1779@pleasantfanandstudent @laksagirl

If anyone wants to be tagged/untagged please let me know. :)

Chapter Notes: Today's my birthday, so here’s a present! It’s short, but I should have the next one up pretty soon. Also, please note I bumped the chapter total up from 16 to 17. The penultimate chapter started getting WAY longer than I expected it to.

No real warnings for this chapter, but I would suggest having extra tissues on hand because I think you’re going to need them.

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <– Chapter Thirteen: Tears –>

Felicity flies out of bed and runs toward the shattered door, somehow managing to avoid the shards of glass on the floor.

“Oliver!” she shouts into the night, and she looks down over the balcony, heart in her throat.

Relief washes through her when she spots him moving down one of the nearby fire escapes. She has no idea how he managed to climb over there, though. Oliver’s been known to scale buildings on numerous occasions, of course, but she had no idea he had that kind of strength in him nowadays. She assumes it’s the fear and adrenaline - the same fear and adrenaline that has her heart racing as she watches his feet hit the pavement.

She screams his name again, though of course he can’t hear her. She pays close attention to which way he runs, and as he turns the corner and vanishes from her sight Felicity flies back inside her apartment with a moan.

“No, no, no, no, no, NO!” she shouts, her voice still raw from Oliver’s chokehold. She moves quickly over to the nightstand to grab her phone. “This isn’t happening,” she mutters, her fingers tapping quickly at the screen as she pulls up John’s number.

As the phone rings, Felicity paces nervously across the floor, mumbling the word “no” to herself over and over.

She can’t believe this is happening.

She can’t believe he ran away.

She can’t believe-

She hears a voice on the other end of the line at the same time that she spots two pools of dark red blood amidst the broken glass by the balcony.

“Felicity? What’s wrong?” she hears someone ask, but her blood is pounding hard in her ears. She lifts her left foot, then her right, and there’s no cuts and no blood there.

Which means it’s Oliver’s.

“Felicity!” she hears a shout, and she shakes her head as John Diggle’s voice breaks through the haze in her brain. “Talk to me,” he tells her firmly.

She whimpers quietly, and when the next two words leave her mouth it feels like the world is falling out from underneath her.

“Oliver’s gone.”

(read the rest on AO3)

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart,” (13/16), olicity s5 AU fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape), attempted suicide

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. Started off as a future fic but is now technically alternate canon/AU (takes places starting in early December 2016).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters:  Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2, Chapter3, Chapter4, Chapter5, Chapter6, Chapter7, Chapter8, Chapter9, Chapter10, Chapter11)

Tagging: @hope-for-olicity@memcjo@miriam1779@pleasantfanandstudent @laksagirl

If anyone wants to be tagged/untagged please let me know. :)

Chapter Notes: Friendly warning: this is one of the darkest chapters of the story. Make sure you’ve got some tissues handy.

As always, I want to thank everyone for their patience. I know it's been awhile since I've posted, but you've all been incredibly understanding. I couldn't ask for better readers. :)

Enjoy!

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <– Chapter Twelve: For Better or Worse –>

While Thea agrees that Oliver is better off staying with Felicity, the two of them still fear that Oliver may try to hurt himself again. Felicity briefly debates finding somewhere else to stay - someplace much smaller, where she can keep a better eye on Oliver - but she decides against it in the end, because she’s afraid that moving him to an unfamiliar place will only make things worse.

And so, a few days into Oliver’s recuperation at the hospital, Felicity returns to the loft and - with help from John - she sets the place in order.

They start by cleaning up the mess in the bathroom, which takes more time than it probably should because Felicity can barely stand to spend more than a few minutes in the room at a time. After sweeping out all the bits of glass and removing every last piece of the broken mirror, John tries to clean the floor, but it’s been too long and the stains from Oliver’s blood have set in. After five minutes of hard scrubbing, John sits back against the wall. He’s breathing heavily, his whole body shaking, and Felicity pulls him from the room without a second thought and decides to have the tile ripped up and a carpet installed in its place, rental lease be damned.

After that, she and John take more than a few precautions around the rest of the loft. First they take all the locks off the doors - save for the lock to the front door - and add a more secure lock to the door leading out to the balcony. Next, Felicity takes every dangerous household cleaning product and locks it under the kitchen sink while John puts all the knives into one drawer, which he also locks. Then they both remove all the mirrors in the loft save for a small pocket mirror, which Felicity puts in the locked medicine cabinet with Oliver’s pills.

Deciding to err on the side of extreme caution, Felicity also gets rid of the TV, offering it to John for the time being. She keeps her tablet, laptop, and phone because they’re all necessary (and less hackable), but she decides to keep them either locked up in a filing cabinet or on her person at all times.

Later that afternoon, Felicity helps Lance beef up the security at the building across the street where Oliver’s protection force is stationed, in the hopes that if Prometheus tries anything else, they won’t be caught unawares again.

Sitting around the dining room table that night eating Big Belly Burger with John, Felicity gazes around the loft. She’s done anything and everything she can think of to prevent Oliver from hurting himself again. She has no idea if Oliver will relapse without a trigger from Prometheus, but she doesn’t want to take any chances.

She can’t go through this again.

(read the rest on AO3)

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart,” (12/?), olicity s5 AU fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape), attempted suicide

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. Started off as a future fic but is now technically alternate canon/AU (takes places starting in early December 2016).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters:  Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2, Chapter3, Chapter4, Chapter5, Chapter6, Chapter7, Chapter8, Chapter9, Chapter10)

Tagging: @hope-for-olicity@memcjo@miriam1779@pleasantfanandstudent @laksagirl

If anyone wants to be tagged/untagged please let me know. :)

Chapter Warnings: This chapter deals with the aftermath of attempted suicide.

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post this. Real life hasn't gone very easy on me lately. But this chapter's pretty long (at least by my standards) so there's that.

Thank you as always to everyone still reading, leaving comments, and being super patient with me. My readers are the best. <3

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <– Chapter Eleven: Family –>

Oliver stays conscious nearly all the way to the hospital. Felicity can still hear him muttering that awful word to himself as he bleeds out in her arms.

“Monster. Monster. Monster.”

Felicity squeezes the towels tighter around his wrists, gripping them firmly, as though the simple act of holding on to him will keep him with her. Her right shoulder still hurts from when she slammed it into the door, but she ignores it, focusing all of her attention on soothing Oliver.

“We’re almost there,” John says from behind the wheel, and Donna turns around in the passenger seat to look back at them. Her mother is crying quietly, and Felicity wants nothing more than to cry with her; to let out all the pain and the anger and the despair she feels holding the man she loves while he dies.

(read the rest on AO3)

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart” (11/?), olicity s5 AU fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape), attempted suicide

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. Started off as a future fic but is now technically alternate canon/AU (takes places starting in early December 2016).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters:  Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2, Chapter3, Chapter4, Chapter5, Chapter6, Chapter7, Chapter8, Chapter9)

Tagging: @hope-for-olicity@memcjo@miriam1779@pleasantfanandstudent @laksagirl

If anyone wants to be tagged/untagged please let me know. :)

CHAPTER WARNINGS: This is a very heavy chapter. It deals with issues of torture, including: starvation, sensory deprivation, drug testing, shaming, and physical and emotional abuse. It also includes a sappy, brief, mildly explicit sex scene.

AN: Thank you so much to all my amazing readers, especially those leaving such wonderful and uplifting comments. I appreciate you all so much! <3 Apologies, as always, for the length between updates.

For those who've asked, I fully intend to complete this story, so please don't worry about me leaving it unfinished. :)

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <– Chapter Ten: There’s a Power in Your Name –>

One cold night, December 2016

Oliver pants heavily, his body trembling above hers. Felicity runs a soothing hand along his upper back, and he shivers before leaning down and kissing her. She whimpers into his mouth, running her fingers through his hair lightly. When he pulls away for air, he stares down at her in wonder, unable to keep his tears from falling any longer.

“I’ve missed you, Felicity. God, I’ve missed you so much,” Oliver gasps.

Felicity smiles up at him. “Me, too,” she whispers, gripping his shoulders tightly as he starts to move inside her again. “Me, too, Oliver. Oh, god.”

“I love you,” Oliver moans, thrusting harder, and she throws her head back against the pillow, holding onto him even tighter.

“I love you, too,” she replies, groaning quietly when he stills his movements. He brushes a lock of hair away from her face, then uses his fingertips to wipe away her tears. “Oliver, I…I don’t want to lose you again. Not ever,” she sobs, and Oliver quiets her with a kiss.

“Shhh, it’s okay, I’m here,” he whispers against her lips. He kisses his way along her cheek, down the side of her neck, then back up to the spot beneath her ear that she likes so much. She gasps under his touch, crying softly now. Oliver kisses her cheek once more, and his tears mix with hers as he soothes her. “Fe-LI-ci-ty,” he sighs, rubbing his nose against hers. “I’m right here, honey. I’m not going anywhere, not ever.”

“Oliver.”

“Felicity.”

When they finally come down, Oliver collapses onto his back, pulling her against his side.

He falls asleep with her head resting over his heart….

...and he wakes to the feel of her being ripped from his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It only takes one man to hold Felicity back, but it takes three men to keep Oliver from her.

She struggles hard against her captor, but she’s no match for him. She’s naked, and the sight of some stranger with his arms wrapped around her body makes Oliver see red. He lunges, calling out for her, and he almost gets away, but then a fourth man steps in, wrapping his arms around Oliver’s bare torso.

“Let her go,” Oliver growls, fighting against his captors.

“Come with us quietly, and we will,” the man holding Felicity responds.

Oliver looks at her, watching her shake her head as she struggles against the man’s strong grip.

“No, Oliver, don’t-”

“Quiet!” the man holding her shouts, and he squeezes her tighter. Felicity gasps, her hands clawing uselessly at the man’s arms.

“Felicity!” Oliver screams, and he struggles once more but it’s no use; there are too many of them.

“Come with us quietly, Oliver Queen, and we will let her go,” the man says again. He squeezes her even tighter for emphasis, and Felicity fights weakly against him, her eyes full of fear and pain.

There’s no choice to make.

“Okay,” Oliver agrees, shoulders slumping with defeat. “Okay. I’ll come with you.”

“ No,” Felicity gasps, tears rising in her eyes as she struggles to breathe. “No, Oliver. Please.”

“I told you to stop talking!” her captor shouts, and before Oliver can blink the man pulls a syringe out of one of his pockets and stabs her in the neck.

“NO!” Oliver shouts. “FELICITY!”

The man loosens his grip on her and she crumbles to the ground on the other side of their bed. Oliver shouts her name over and over, fighting against his captors, and he manages to throw two of them off and make it three steps before one of them shoves a syringe into his neck. Oliver continues to struggle even as the room begins to spin around him.

“Please,” Oliver begs. “Please, just tell me she’s okay.”

He shrugs off another man, then makes it two more steps before another syringe ends up in his shoulder. He falls limp in his remaining captor’s arms, and the man shoves him violently to the ground. Oliver drags himself across the floor, fighting desperately against the drugs flooding into his bloodstream.

He needs to see her; he needs to know that she’s okay.

He makes it to the other side of the bed just as two men throw themselves onto his back.

And then he sees her: prone and scared but still conscious, one hand reaching out to him.

“I’m okay,” she tells him, her speech slurring as the drugs begin to take effect. “I’m all right. Oliver.”

“Get him out of here,” the man standing over Felicity orders, and Oliver reaches out to her before they can stop him. His fingertips brush hers, and he tries to say something, but as the double dose of tranquilizers pulls him under, he can’t find the strength.

“I’ll find you, Oliver,” he hears her say as the room fades to black around him. “I promise. I’ll find you.”

Oliver passes out with his fingers wrapped tightly around hers.

…

……

...

As the world goes dark around her, Felicity hears the man above her tell the others to be careful.

“The boss wants him alive...but soon enough he’ll wish he was dead.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Felicity wakes an hour later - her head pounding and her stomach roiling - she finds herself back in bed wrapped up in her blankets.

Oliver is gone.

(read the rest on AO3)

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart” (10/?), olicity s5 AU fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape), attempted suicide

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. Started off as a future fic but is now technically alternate canon/AU (takes places starting in early December 2016).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters:  Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2, Chapter3, Chapter4, Chapter5, Chapter6, Chapter7, Chapter8)

Tagging: @hope-for-olicity@memcjo@miriam1779@pleasantfanandstudent @laksagirl

If anyone wants to be tagged/untagged please let me know. :)

IMPORTANT UPDATE: The story tags (on AO3) and the warnings (posted above) have been edited. If you prefer to read with warnings, please check them out.

Also, the lovely Jess (smoakyfelicity on Twitter) made me a graphic for my story! It's beautiful and gorgeous and I love it (and Jess!) to pieces. <3

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <-- Chapter Nine: Memories -->

Over the next week, Oliver and Felicity visit Thea in the hospital for a few hours a day as she recuperates. Oliver brings his sister a new batch of cookies each day (which gives him an excuse to try out new recipes with Donna) as well as a drawing. Thea puts every single drawing up on the wall over her bed - much the same as Felicity has done at the loft.

The day before Thea is due to return home, Felicity suggests that Oliver bring over some photo albums. Oliver agrees, though he seems slightly nervous.

Felicity sits in a chair off to the side of the room as Oliver and Thea thumb through the old albums together. Once in awhile, Thea stops to reminisce, and Oliver smiles fondly as she talks. He nods or shakes his head, and on rare occasion he’ll use a bit of sign language, which Felicity is quick to translate.

After two hours, the siblings are on to their last album, and Felicity can’t remember the last time she heard Thea talk this much, or saw Oliver so engaged in something that didn’t involve her. She excuses herself to grab some coffee in an attempt to give them some quiet time alone.

When she comes back half an hour later (with a cup of hot chocolate for Oliver, of course) she finds Thea fast asleep in bed, an album open in her lap. Her body is inclined toward her brother, who’s snoring quietly in his chair, his head resting on the bed beside Thea.

Felicity smiles, then puts Oliver’s drink on the table next to him and leaves quietly.

She takes a long walk around the hospital grounds, and when she returns half an hour later to find Oliver silently watching his little sister sleep, she takes him home.

(read the rest on AO3)

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart” (9/?), olicity s5 AU fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape)

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. Started off as a future fic but is now technically alternate canon/AU (takes places starting in early December 2016).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters:  Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2, Chapter3, Chapter4, Chapter5, Chapter6, Chapter7)

Tagging: @hope-for-olicity@memcjo@miriam1779@pleasantfanandstudent @laksagirl

If anyone wants to be tagged/untagged please let me know. :)

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <--Chapter Eight: Healing -->

The next day, Felicity decides that it’s time to try therapy.

She knows Oliver’s averse to leaving the loft. On the few occasions she’s gotten him ready to go outside - paparazzi be damned - he’s always ended up fighting her at the last minute.

“Oliver, there’s a park just a few blocks from here I think you’d really like. And it’s two in the afternoon so there won’t be many people there.”

“Oliver, I just want you to see the new cafe that opened up on the corner. They make a delicious hot chocolate.”

“Oliver, honey, it’s a beautiful day outside. Mrs. Huff in 4A asked me if you’d like to take her dog for a walk sometime. Would you like to take a walk with me?”

Sometimes he shakes his head, sometimes he shouts her name, and sometimes he actually cries - but no matter how she asks him, or what activity she suggests, his answer is always “no.”

It doesn’t help that the fervor over Oliver’s rescue still hasn’t died down. A few of the news stations are still talking about Oliver, even though it’s been nearly two months since they found out about his return. According to the ACU, one particularly scummy online blogger is still attempting to infiltrate her building for information on Oliver’s condition (a quick hack, a few minutes of digging into the blogger’s history, and a not-so-thinly veiled threat are enough to get him to back off in the end). Every once in awhile, Felicity gets accosted by people on the street asking her how Oliver’s doing - both paparazzi and regular citizens. She’s been lucky so far; no one has been too aggressive with her.

She understands why Oliver wants to avoid the attention, and she doesn’t blame him in the least. They both know first hand how pushy and mean the paparazzi can be, and she doesn’t want to subject Oliver to anything he’s not ready for. But he needs to see a therapist, and if she can’t get him out of the apartment to see someone then someone will have to come and see him.

And so Felicity calls Lyla and asks her if she has any contacts at ARGUS who would be able to help Oliver discreetly. Lyla’s more than willing to help, and she offers to set up a meeting for Oliver with an ARGUS psychiatrist that she trusts. Felicity knows she needs to talk to Oliver about it first, and she agrees to get back to Lyla as soon as possible.

Convincing Oliver to see a psychiatrist proves to be easier said than done.

“Oliver, you know how you’ve always been so good about going to see Doctor Schwartz, even though you don’t want to?” Felicity asks him.

Oliver nods, and he signs a simple, She helps me.

Felicity nods. “Well, this is kind of the same thing, only this doctor is going to help you with the hurts that we can’t see.”

Oliver looks away from her, still unsure, and Felicity can’t blame him. He’s always been averse to the idea of therapy, even before his two month ordeal.

“I just want to help you, honey,” Felicity assures him. “You know that, don’t you?”

Oliver nods, biting his lower lip as he wrings his hands in his lap. Then he signs, I’m scared.

“I know you are, sweetie. But I wouldn’t be asking you to do this if I didn’t think it was the right thing to do; if I didn’t think it would help you.”

In the end, it takes a fair amount of bribing on her part (Oliver’s love for her mother’s cookies never fails to make her smile) and a dozen assurances that she’ll be with him the whole time and they can stop anytime he wants to, but eventually, Oliver agrees.

Two days later, Dr. Martinez pays Oliver a visit. She’s a small, kind woman in her early 40s. She’s been briefed a bit on Oliver’s situation, and Felicity fills the doctor in on everything she thinks might be important for her to know. The doctor takes good notes, and when she’s ready, she sits in a chair across from Oliver in the living room.

Dr. Martinez introduces herself, assuring Oliver that she’s here to help him. When she asks him how he’s feeling today, Oliver mutters a quiet, “Felicity.” Felicity squeezes his hand and encourages him to use his words. Oliver sighs deeply, and though his hands are shaking, he signs, I’m scared.

Dr. Martinez smiles...and then she signs back, I understand.

Oliver gasps.

“She knows sign language, Oliver. Isn’t that lucky?” Felicity asks.

Oliver nods, and he signs, How?

“My mother was born deaf,” Dr. Martinez explains. “I’ve had a lot of experience with deaf patients, and also people with mutism, like you.”

Oliver shifts nervously in his seat, and he looks away from the doctor as he signs, I’m sorry.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, Oliver. In my time working with ARGUS, I’ve seen many cases like yours. People dealing with PTSD, depression, nightmares, and all kinds of trauma.”

Oliver looks at the woman curiously.

“You said you were scared, Oliver. Do you still feel that way right now?” the doctor asks him.

Oliver thinks for a second before nodding.

“Felicity,” he whispers in agreement, and Felicity squeezes his hand tightly to let him know she’s there.

Dr. Martinez smiles warmly at him.

“Well, I hope that by the end of our session today we can change that.”

(read the rest on AO3)

I can’t decide if I love the fact that Oliver/the show actually brought up Roy or I hate it because my headcanon about Thea going to visit Roy has been destroyed.

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart” (8/?), olicity s5 AU fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape)

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. Started off as a future fic but is now technically alternate canon/AU (takes places starting in early December 2016).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters:  Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2, Chapter3, Chapter4, Chapter5, Chapter6)

Tagging: @hope-for-olicity @memcjo@miriam1779@pleasantfanandstudent @laksagirl

If anyone wants to be tagged/untagged please let me know. :)

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <–Chapter Seven: "Fe-LI-ci-ty” Means “I Love You”–>

The next morning, Felicity spends nearly twenty minutes checking and double checking everything: making sure her mother knows what foods Oliver likes to eat, reminding her where she can find Oliver’s pills and the first aid kit is (just in case), and programming Dr. Schwartz’s number into her mother’s phone.

“We’ll be fine, sweetie. Don’t worry,” Donna assures her.

Felicity takes a deep breath to steady herself. She's doing the right thing; she knows she is.

“Don’t hesitate to call me if you need to.  I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“Honey, I love you, but I don’t want to see your face for at least four hours.”

“Mom-”

“ Felicity .” Donna puts her hands on her daughter's shoulders, squeezing them firmly. “We’re going to be fine .”

Felicity looks over at Oliver, who’s sitting at the kitchen table, sipping on a mug of warm milk and watching them quietly. Felicity walks over to him and rests a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll be back in a few hours, Oliver. Will you be okay while I’m gone?”

Oliver puts his mug down and looks over at Donna, who smiles at him warmly and nods.

Oliver turns back to Felicity and gently rests his hand on top of hers.

“Felicity,” Oliver says with a nod. She smiles lovingly at him, turning her hand in his so she can squeeze his fingers tightly, and the feel of him squeezing back helps ground her; just like it always has. Then she bends down and kisses the top of his head.

“Okay, honey. You have fun with my mom. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Oliver nods, drinking more of the milk her mother made for him, and Felicity’s heart soars with hope.

And so Felicity leaves Oliver and her mother alone around noon, heading into Smoak Technologies. She spends hours with Curtis, looking over everything he’s done in her absence and helping him deal with all the issues she hasn’t been able to manage from home.

When Curtis brings her a cup of coffee, Felicity takes a long, deep sip and sighs heavily. It feels great to be doing something for her little company - which in turn is starting to do good for others - and it feels even better to get out of the loft for a time.

She loses herself in their latest project, debating a walk through the park before she heads back home. She gets so lost in her work that she eventually loses track of time. When Curtis nudges her shoulder, asking her when she plans to head back, Felicity realizes with a shock that it’s already 4:30.

“Oh, god,” Felicity moans. She tosses back the rest of her coffee and starts throwing things in her purse, looking around for her coat. “I should have been home half an hour ago.”

“Oliver will be fine. Your mother’s with him,” Curtis assures her, handing her her coat.

“I lost track of time, Curtis. I….”

And Felicity realizes with a stab of guilt that it hadn’t just been nice to get out of the loft. It had been nice to be alone; to not feel like she had to constantly be watching someone.

It had been nice to spend some time away from Oliver.

Felicity groans, putting on her coat. “I’m a terrible person,” she mutters, shoving a few folders and her tablet into her work bag.

“There’s no way that’s true,” Curtis says, handing her her cell phone.

“Yes, yes it is,” Felicity says, throwing her work bag and purse over her shoulder.

“Felicity...you’re not a bad person because you enjoyed yourself today.”

“Curtis-”

“You’re still a human being, Felicity. You have your own needs and desires, and they don’t all have to revolve around Oliver; they shouldn’t . You’re allowed to want something for yourself.”

Felicity shakes her head vehemently. “You don’t understand. It felt nice to not...to not have to watch him all day - to have some time to myself - but who thinks like that? Who thinks about themself when someone they love is in so much pain?”

“Someone who only has so much of themself to give.” Curtis shakes his head, smiling sadly. “Your mom was right, Felicity. You need to take some time for yourself. You’re no good to Oliver if you’re running on empty.”

“But they broke him, Curtis!” Felicity answers shrilly, and she doesn’t bother trying to mask the pain in her voice or stop the tears of frustration streaming down her face. “Oliver Queen. The man who’s been to hell and back over and over. They abused him and shamed him and pumped him full of drugs that messed with his mind so badly that he can’t even speak anymore.” Her chest grows tighter and tighter as she talks, but she finds that she can’t stop. “They took the strongest man I have ever known and they broke him. He needs me, and here I am sitting in my own office feeling grateful that I was able to get away from him.  Who does that? Oh, god, who does that?”

She’s hyperventilating now, and Curtis closes the distance between them, taking her bags off her shoulder and dropping them to the floor.

“Breathe, honey, just breathe,” Curtis says gently, putting his hands on her shoulders and squeezing them firmly. “You're okay.”

Felicity chokes back a sob, closing her eyes and focusing on the feel of Curtis’ strong hands on her shoulders. She takes a deep breath in, holds it for three seconds, then lets it out for three more. She goes through her breathing exercises until the band across her chest loosens and she no longer feels like she’s gasping for air. Curtis brings her a cup of water, and she drinks it gratefully.

“Thank you,” Felicity says, handing him back the empty cup when she’s done.

Curtis takes it from her with a nod before sighing deeply.

“Felicity…I haven't known Oliver Queen for very long, but there are two things I know beyond the shadow of a doubt. Number one: Oliver is strong ; he wouldn't have lived through two months of torture if he wasn't. And number two: that man loves you more than anything. He'll find his way back to you, I'm sure of it. And besides…if there's anyone who has the strength to save him it's Felicity Smoak.”

Felicity smiles warmly at Curtis, then pulls him into a tight hug. “Thank you, Curtis. You're a good man, and an even better friend.”

“So are you. A good friend, obviously, not a good man because...well, you know.” Curtis pulls away and then gestures to all of her. “Woman.“

Felicity laughs at just how alike she and Curtis are. She made a good choice bringing him onto the team: both Team Arrow and her up-and-coming company. “I can't thank you enough for keeping this place running, Curtis. I owe you one.”

He smiles at her. “Just help him get better and we'll call it even.”

“Okay,” she responds. She throws her bags over her shoulder again, and she's on her way out the door when she hears her friend say, “Oliver's lucky to have you.”

Felicity smiles as she whispers, “ I'm the lucky one.”

(read the rest on AO3)

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart” (7/?), olicity s5 AU fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape)

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. Started off as a future fic but is now technically alternate canon/AU (takes places starting in early December 2016).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters:  Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2, Chapter3, Chapter4, Chapter5)

Tagging: @hope-for-olicity @memcjo @miriam1779@pleasantfanandstudent @laksagirl

I hope I caught everyone who’d wanted to be tagged. I made a list a few weeks back but my computer ate it at some point. :( If anyone wants to be tagged/untagged please let me know. :)

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <–Chapter Six: You’re Stronger Than You Know–>

The day after she buys Oliver his new art supplies, Donna returns to keep them both company. Oliver’s already started on his second drawing (someone’s using a blowtorch to burn his lower back) and she watches him for a time while Felicity gets some work done at the dining room table. When Oliver opens up some of the paints to start on a new drawing, Donna asks Oliver if there’s anything he wants to talk about.

Felicity knows what the answer will be, of course - and she suspects her mother does as well - but then Oliver puts the paints down to look at Donna. He stares at her long and hard, his brow furrowing, and Felicity puts her tablet down, because for a brief second she thinks that maybe Oliver will decide to talk to her. But in the end Oliver shakes his head. Donna smiles at him, reaching over the coffee table to squeeze his hand. Oliver looks down at her hand on his, and he doesn’t pull away.

“It’s all right, hon. If you ever do feel like talking, or maybe you just want to show me one of your drawings, just know that I’ll be here, okay?”

Oliver gazes at her quietly for a moment...and eventually, he nods. Donna smiles, then sits back in her chair and turns on the TV to watch her soaps. Oliver looks at her thoughtfully for a few more minutes before picking up his paints and starting on a new drawing.

From her spot at the kitchen table, Felicity smiles. Then she grabs her journal from where it’s sitting next to her pile of work papers and starts writing furiously.

On the second day, Felicity asks Oliver if she can draw something, too.

“Felicity,” Oliver agrees.

He gives her her own pad of paper, and he moves his carefully organized supplies over so she can have some space at the table. He readjusts the pillows behind his back and under his right leg. He prefers sitting on the floor in front of the couch, as it gives him better access to the coffee table he’s taken over as his art space. Felicity has done everything she can to make sure he stays as comfortable as possible, which includes plenty of pillows, a helping hand when he needs to get up, and routine walks around the loft for exercise.

Felicity draws a few pictures of how they spent their summer away together. She’s a terrible artist (“you always have been,” Donna will tell her later. “You were always much better with computers and numbers”) and she gets Oliver to smile when she shows him her weird stick figure drawings.

“We’re on the beach, Oliver. See? That’s you on a blanket.”

Oliver stares at it, tilting his head to the side and making the most adorable confused face she’s ever seen.

“Drama queen,” she teases him, and she rips the page out of her pad. She’s just started to crumple it up when Oliver reaches over and grabs her hands.

“FELICITY!” he admonishes, and she stops. She lays it out on the table and smoothes it out as best she can. She hands it out to him and Oliver takes it, smoothing it out a bit more. When he’s done she helps him to his feet, and he takes it over to the wall where she’s hung his drawing of her rescuing him.

“Felicity,” he says, holding her terrible drawing up against the wall next to his work of art.

Felicity smiles. “Okay, honey. Let me get the tape.”

And she tapes her drawing up next to Oliver’s and gets started on another one.

When Donna comes over an hour later, she gets her own pad, too, and her drawings turn out to be pretty good; not Oliver quality, but certainly better than her daughter’s.

Donna draws a few simple pictures to start with: a desert landscape in Vegas, a forest scene in Washington where she grew up, and a particularly beautiful image of the night sky (Felicity’s love of star-gazing and space came from her mother). Oliver smiles when she shows him the space drawing, and he holds out his hand.

“Felicity?” he asks her.

“What is it, Oliver?” Donna asks in confusion.

“Felicity!” Oliver says again, and he points to the wall where his and Felicity’s drawings are posted.

“He wants to hang it up, Mom,” Felicity tells her, and she bites her lower lip, overcome with sudden emotion.

“Oh! Oh of course, sweetie, I’d love for you to hang it up,” Donna responds with a smile, and she holds out the drawing.

Oliver practically beams, and he takes the picture from her and uses the tape to put it up on the other side of Felicity’s. When Oliver sits back down with them, Felicity looks at her miserable drawing sitting between the two of theirs.

“I need to step up my game, huh?” she asks Oliver playfully, and Oliver just smiles and shakes his head.

“You like my terrible drawing?” she asks him, and Oliver nods enthusiastically.

“Felicity ,” he says, and it’s a promise.

She can’t help it; she leans over and kisses him on the cheek.

“Thank you,” she says warmly, and Oliver blushes as he picks up a pencil to keep working on his drawing: a picture of a man cutting on him, using a scalpel to carefully and precisely reopen his scars. As Felicity and Donna start working on new drawings, Felicity thinks she might ask Oliver to draw her something happy tonight.

(read the rest on AO3)

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart” (6/?), olicity s5 AU fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape)

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. Started off as a future fic but is now technically alternate canon/AU (takes places starting in early December 2016).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters:  Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2, Chapter3, Chapter4)

Tagging: @hope-for-olicity @memcjo @miriam1779 @pleasantfanandstudent 

This is my first time tagging for fics. I picked a few people who’ve shown interest in the story, but if anyone wants to be tagged/untagged please let me know. :)

Happy (non)Arrow Wednesday! :)

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <--Chapter Five: More than Enough-->

The front page of the Star City Star was not Felicity’s first choice for how the city should find out that Oliver was alive. She’d of course planned on telling the public eventually, but she’d been hoping that Oliver would be better healed and more emotionally prepared when the time came for it.

But there was nothing she could do. When Oliver had wandered out onto the porch that night, a man in one of the apartments in the building across the street had snapped a photo of Oliver with his camera and sold it to the city’s #1 newspaper.  

Felicity silently hopes the man chokes on the money they paid him for it.

That night, Lance holds a press conference to officially inform the city of Oliver’s return. He assures the citizens that yes, Oliver Queen is indeed alive, but that he’s been hurt both physically and mentally by the ordeal of his kidnapping. He doesn’t give them any details on who captured him (as they aren’t even sure themselves), nor does he give them details on Oliver’s condition. He simply informs the public that Oliver needs time and peace in order to heal, and he urges the people to give him and his loved ones space in this trying time.

Felicity watches the press conference from her couch with Oliver sitting next to her, and she holds his hand the entire time. When the conference is over she turns off the TV.

“People were going to find out eventually, Oliver. It was only a matter of time.”

Oliver nods, his hand shaking in hers, and Felicity turns toward him on the couch. She reaches over him and grabs his other hand, too, then squeezes both of them tightly.

“No one’s going to bother you here, Oliver. I promise. Lance will be increasing the security around the building.”

Oliver nods again, and she thinks she has him convinced. But then he shakes his head, and he whines her name quietly.

“Felicity….”

She sighs, scooting closer to him on the couch, and she lets go of him. Then she grips his face gently between her hands and kisses his forehead. It’s a long, fierce kiss, and she pours all of her strength and all of the love she feels for him into it. When she pulls away, he looks down at her, tears shining in his eyes, and she smiles at him.

“I know you’re scared, honey, and I understand. You’ve been through a lot; more than any one person should ever have to go through. But you’re still here. You made it home to me.” She strokes his cheeks gently with her fingertips, wiping away his tears. “You have incredible strength, Oliver Queen, and you’re going to get through this.”

Oliver gasps quietly as she continues to caress his face, speaking softly to him.

“You’re completely safe here, my love. I promise. And I’ll be with you the whole time.”

And finally, Oliver takes a deep breath, and he nods.

“That’s my hero,” she whispers, and she kisses him tenderly on the cheek before hugging him close.

(read the rest on AO3)

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart” (4/?), olicity s5 fic

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture), discussions of rape but no actual rape)

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. A future fic (takes place around when the mid-season 5 finale would be).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

(Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter1, Chapter2)

Chapter Notes:  I went back to the prologue and made a tiny edit about Felicity’s place of work. I wrote that chapter ages ago - before I really had time to think about what Felicity’s job should be - and when I got to this chapter I decided I needed to change it. Instead of working at Palmer Tech, Felicity has her own job at her own company, Smoak Technologies. I’m not sure how much I’ll end up mentioning her job, but having her own company will work out a lot better for the purposes of this story. Plus come on, we all want it to happen anyway.

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart <– Chapter Three: Promises to Keep–>

Once Mary has gone, Felicity heads downstairs to wait for Diggle to come back from packing up the doctor’s car. She puts the IV bags Mary gave her away in the fridge. She doesn’t have a whole lot to eat herself, but it doesn’t matter much to her right now; food is the farthest thing from her mind. She does, however, pour herself a glass of water. She sits down at the kitchen island just as John lets himself in.

“How is he?” John asks, closing the door quietly behind him.

“Sleeping,” Felicity says simply, taking a sip of her water. “He seems….” She trails off, not sure what she wants to say.

“Yeah,” Digg agrees, walking toward where she’s seated. He sits on the chair next to her, gazing at her quietly. She can practically hear the gears turning in his head, and she takes a few more sips of water before putting the glass down on the counter. It does nothing to soothe the soreness suffusing her entire body, but she knows she needs it.

“Felicity.”

John lays his right hand on top of her left, squeezing it gently, and tears rise in her eyes against her will. She forces herself to look up at her friend.

“I know a thing or two about torture,” Diggle says carefully. “When Andy tortured me….”

He pauses for a moment, gazing down at their entwined hands. Felicity squeezes his hand firmly, and it seems to give him courage.

“I know that when things get bad, you have to find something to fight for; something to hold onto. For me, it was my family: Lyla and Sara. For Oliver…it was you.”

She can already tell where he’s going with this, and Felicity smiles despite herself.

“Oliver held onto the thought of you when things got darkest. That’s why he remembers you most of all. You were there with him the whole time. You kept him going. You helped him hold on.”

“John-”

“You gave him hope, Felicity. They didn’t destroy him completely; they never could. Part of him is still there, buried deep down where they could never get to him. You helped him hold on…which means you’re the only one who can reach him.”

Felicity nods, not bothering to fight the tears that stream down her cheeks.

“Oliver’s clearly been through a lot, but he’s not gone; not entirely. There’s still hope,” he says softly, squeezing her hand tightly. “If anyone can bring him back to us…it’s you.”

Felicity laughs softly, smiling through her tears as she leans in and rests her head gently on Diggle’s shoulder. Digg lays his cheek against the top of her head and lets go of her hand, but only so he can wrap his arm around her and pull her tight against his side.

“Mary said the same thing before she left,” Felicity tells him.

“Anyone with eyes can see how much you two mean to each other, Felicity,” John responds, rubbing her arm gently.

“Yeah,” Felicity agrees, her voice trembling slightly.

And it’s there, sitting quietly in her kitchen with Diggle’s arm wrapped around her, that Felicity vows to be strong for Oliver no matter what. Oliver may need her…but she needs him, too. No matter how broken he might be, no matter how hopeless things may seem, Felicity will do everything in her power to save the man she loves. She can get him back…and she will.

She can’t focus on finding out who did this to him, or seeking revenge – no matter how much she may want to. The only thing that matters is getting her Oliver back.

The only thing that matters is saving him.

She cannot give up. She has to fight for him, just like he’s always fought for her.

She can’t let him see her break. She has to be strong – for him, for both of them – because he can’t anymore.

She can’t let herself cry. She has to hold onto hope, just like Oliver did for those eight weeks of Hell.

But for now….

For now, she gives into her tears.

She wraps her arms around John, buries her face against his chest, and cries quietly. John hugs her in return, rubbing her back soothingly as he rests his cheek on top of her head.

When her hair grows wet from his silent tears, she hugs him tighter and doesn’t say a word.

Five minutes later, John leaves, with the promise that he’s only a phone call away if she needs him.

Once he’s gone, Felicity climbs the stairs back to her room.

Back to her always, her everything, her hero.

Back to Oliver.

She gazes at him quietly from the doorway, listening to the sound of his light snoring and watching his chest rise and fall gently as he sleeps.

The sight of it soothes her more than anything has in 59 days.

Felicity climbs onto the bed beside Oliver, lying down on what used to be his side but which is, for the moment, hers. She checks briefly to make sure the IV hasn’t slipped out of his right arm while he was sleeping. Satisfied, she rests her head next to his on the pillow, carefully avoiding his left wrist, and slings her arm over his waist. He’s so thin she can wrap her arm around him easily, but she refuses to dwell on it. Instead, she kisses his cheek tenderly and closes her eyes.

She hears a soft whisper of her name, and it’s the last thing she thinks about before she falls into a deep sleep.

(read the rest on AO3)

Question for fic purposes: does Roy have any pet names for Thea that we know of? I feel like he’d call her “baby” but I don’t know if I’m basing that thought on anything more than personal headcanon. Has he ever called her anything on the show?

“I Wrote Your Name in My Heart” (1/?), olicity s5 fic

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart (1/?)

Rating: M

Warnings: graphic descriptions (violence & physical/psychological torture)

Summary: One cold night in December, a group of men kidnap Oliver right in front of Felicity. They leave behind no ransom or demands, no hints to his fate, and no clues to follow. As the new year starts, the team begins to lose hope that they will ever be able to save the Green Arrow; all except Felicity, because Felicity just got Oliver back, and she’ll be damned if she’s going to lose him again. Her hope pays off in the end…but when they finally find Oliver, they find a broken man they barely recognize. Felicity vows to do whatever it takes to make the man she loves whole again. A future fic (takes place around when the mid-season 5 finale would be).

AN: My first long multi-chapter story in the Arrow-verse. Not sure how many chapters it’ll be. Expect a ton of angst, supportive Olicity, some flashbacks, and a bit of hope.

Friendly warning: this story is going to get dark. I don’t think it's going to get TOO graphic, but some of the language I used just in this first chapter gets pretty descriptive, so I’m using the warnings to be safe.

I Wrote Your Name in My Heart

Eight weeks, two days, and nineteen hours.

That’s how long it’s been since they’ve seen him.

That’s how long it’s been since Felicity woke to find masked men taking him away from her; ripping him right out of the bed they had shared for the first time since they’d broken up almost a year before.

That’s how long he's been kept in a dark, cold, underground prison.

Starved.

Mutilated.

Tortured.

…Alone and hopeless.

That's how long it's been since Felicity's heart started breaking all over again.

When Oliver disappears, Felicity and the team try everything within their power to find him. They leave no stone unturned, no lead unfollowed, no contact uncontacted.

The SCPD searches for him, too. He’s the mayor, after all, and Star City needs him - in more ways than one. Despite her leave of absence, Lyla is able to get ARGUS to help as well. The FBI even gets involved for a short time, but they quickly move on to bigger and more important things.

As if anything could be more important than bringing Oliver Queen home.

The new year starts, and after a month of searching, Team Arrow begins to give up hope. Without Oliver, the team loses its focus and drive, and Felicity doesn’t have enough energy to keep them together by herself. Eventually, Felicity disbands the team, telling everyone to take some time to be with their loved ones.

Artemis and Wild Dog decide to take a break from Star City. Felicity makes them promise to stay safe and to stay in contact, and they travel the country, never staying in one place for too long. After a few weeks, Felicity realizes with a pang that she misses the sound of their arguments filling the lair.

Curtis divides his time between his husband and his job at Palmer Tech. He throws himself into his work, managing half a dozen projects at once. He checks in with Felicity often, taking her out to dinner and keeping her updated on how well his work is going. He tells her he just wants to be sure she’s doing all right, but Felicity has a strong feeling that the daily phone calls are more for his own sake than hers.

Diggle takes it hard. The loss of another brother so soon after his blood brother - and so soon after he’d finally decided to rejoin Team Arrow - proves difficult for him to cope with. But he leans on his family: on his wife and his daughter, who’s growing fast and learning more and more every day.

Yet even in the face of his own grief, he keeps an eye on Felicity. He’s careful about it, though; never too obvious or overprotective. He's clearly unwilling to smother the hope she still clings to, no matter that he's lost his own, and Felicity’s grateful for the care he shows her.

Thea’s inconsolable. She’s tired all the time, and she starts losing weight that she can’t afford to lose. She doesn’t leave her apartment, and she won’t talk to any of them when they call her or come by to visit.

In the end, Felicity moves her into the loft so she can look after her. She doesn’t give Thea a choice in the matter, but Thea’s too tired to fight her on it, and that tells Felicity everything she needs to know about how hard Thea is taking the loss of her brother. Felicity makes sure that she eats, taking her out for lunch or shoe shopping so she can get some fresh air. She even manages to coax her into coming out to see the newest Star Wars movie.

She thinks Thea might be getting better…until she wakes one night to hear Thea screaming for her brother. She finds her sweaty and shaking, in the throes of a terrible nightmare. Felicity tries her best to calm her, whispering soothing words and stroking her back. In the end, she pulls Thea close and rocks her back to sleep like she’s a child again, her heart aching for the girl who believes she’s finally lost the last of her family.

When Thea’s finally asleep once more, Felicity lies quietly next to her, rubbing her back soothingly, and she knows what she has to do. She can’t give Thea the kind of care and attention she so desperately needs; not when her main focus is still on finding Oliver. But there’s someone she knows who can.

She calls Roy the next morning, and by mid afternoon he’s picked Thea up and taken her far away from Star City, leaving Felicity with a firm promise that he’s only a phone call away, and that he’ll keep her posted on how Thea’s doing.

Felicity knows she’s doing what’s best for Thea - for the girl she's begun to think of as family - but when she’s alone in the loft once more, a small, selfish part of her wants her little sister back.

(read the rest on AO3)