The way he's watching celebratory footage of himself hacking Aki away and the focus is on Chainsaw Man instead of his brutalisation of Aki as Denji convinces himself that he WANTS to be Chainsaw Man. Pulling himself into the obedient ignorance that got Aki and Power killed all over again in his desire to once again become Chainsaw Man. So he can continue to live in a dream where bad things don't happen, to have steak for breakfast everyday, have 10 girlfriends he can have tons of sex with, the effects of the dream Makima crafted for him as the hero Chainsaw Man with Aki's death as the trigger, for her dream, co-opting the dream he promised to show Pochita for as long as he lives with Pochita in his heart. Aki's death turned his brain into crap, his feelings became like crap bursting from a clogged-up toilet as he says. Aki's dead, he killed Aki because he's Chainsaw Man. But it doesn't have to be all crap if the dream evens it out...right? Like warming up with tea from miserable coldness, washing away the taste of bitterness with mild tiramisu made from tea. To be blissful as Chainsaw Man. But to go on becoming Chainsaw Man, he has to defeat Makima whom he still loves, whose presence in his mind still fills him with fondness so he consumes her and her dream with his just as he's been strung up by the curse her dream left him with. The curse that follows him to destroy his and her dream once more because he's Chainsaw Man, and he can only be Chainsaw Man, the public hero who killed the Gun fiend, the hero of hell who slays and devours devils not the boy who goes to school, raising the sister he cares for, wants to find love, mourns the ones he lost because of his love for them. He cannot be "normal" and neither can his "dream".
