hello chainsaw man enjoyers

Ok so. Ending 8, season 1 : First Death by Toru Kitajime

I just realised this cunty scene is probably from Himeno's perspective or her idea of getting intimate with aki.

No wait WAIT. the scene actually cuts in from this scene

Here Aki is holding that piece of gun devil that we see in the eternity devil arc.

So basically after this, this godawfullly sexually charged scene where Aki is basically lying on a poll of water, glassy eyes, docile and a hand, probably Himeno's reaching out to choke him-

My brain is not functioning

And if I am a bit more nerdy, try to channel the knowledge I have from filmography and cinematic lighting, the lighting

Green/neon green: more then often green is the colour of envy or jealousy. I feel it does somewhat resonate with Himeno. She's jealous of Makima, jealous that Aki apparently has a crush on her ( HA-! Idiots ) that also the Over theme of; "cry for me Aki". Did she envy him cuz she thought he would wind up dead before her? Again circling back to the post where I talked about Himeno's view of mourning and how she seems to curve Aki's brand of mourning like it's her life line.

But neon green is also a colour of urgency and also, sometimes the focus of the life force itself. Himeno's hands are more vibrantly streaked with neon green as she reaches out to strangle Aki, whose face is half High lighted with the same colour. I think it's also a symbolism of Himeno giving away her life to Aki or maybe it can also mean the years of his Life Span that had been put down to use the cursed nail going out along with Himeno. ( I feel like it's the first theory that works better )

But it can also mean Aki being the literal definition of life force for Himeno, from whom she greedily feasts upon.

Navy/deep: authority, masculinity, mystery, ominous quality. Huh. Authority, I understand cuz Aki looks like he's about to get railed or pegged for that matter. But I feel like there is no inherently masculine about this scene.

Do what you will with this information.

Aki

Prints are available: here

I just realized something (dunno if this was obvious or smth)

this is the 12th ending of the csm anime

and this is chapter 38 of the csm manga (ending of katana man arc and transition to bomb girl arc)

The way he's watching celebratory footage of himself hacking Aki away and the focus is on Chainsaw Man instead of his brutalisation of Aki as Denji convinces himself that he WANTS to be Chainsaw Man. Pulling himself into the obedient ignorance that got Aki and Power killed all over again in his desire to once again become Chainsaw Man. So he can continue to live in a dream where bad things don't happen, to have steak for breakfast everyday, have 10 girlfriends he can have tons of sex with, the effects of the dream Makima crafted for him as the hero Chainsaw Man with Aki's death as the trigger, for her dream, co-opting the dream he promised to show Pochita for as long as he lives with Pochita in his heart. Aki's death turned his brain into crap, his feelings became like crap bursting from a clogged-up toilet as he says. Aki's dead, he killed Aki because he's Chainsaw Man. But it doesn't have to be all crap if the dream evens it out...right? Like warming up with tea from miserable coldness, washing away the taste of bitterness with mild tiramisu made from tea. To be blissful as Chainsaw Man. But to go on becoming Chainsaw Man, he has to defeat Makima whom he still loves, whose presence in his mind still fills him with fondness so he consumes her and her dream with his just as he's been strung up by the curse her dream left him with. The curse that follows him to destroy his and her dream once more because he's Chainsaw Man, and he can only be Chainsaw Man, the public hero who killed the Gun fiend, the hero of hell who slays and devours devils not the boy who goes to school, raising the sister he cares for, wants to find love, mourns the ones he lost because of his love for them. He cannot be "normal" and neither can his "dream".

Relevant Yoshida, Fumiko and Octopus analysis ↓↓↓

While reading csm for the first time, I noticed something kind of cool here

Aki sees Denji and Power as teenagers at first, when they're not fighting him

But the moment Denji starts fighting him, Aki's perception of him changes into that of a kid his age

the eternity of Aki Hayakawa’s childhood

Chainsaw Man by Tatsuki Fujimoto

Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus - Mary Shelley // 11/11 - Girls Rituals // Checkers - John Marsden // Deathless - Catherynne M. Valente // Camden - Gracie Abrams // The Godfather - Mario Puzo // A Hymn to Childhood - Li-Young Lee // A Breath of Life - Clarice Lispector // Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men // God’s Silence - Franz Wright //

God fucking dammit

If chapter 183 isn't a flashback he's gonna say this to AsaYoru and immediately gets kicked in the balls by Denji being like holy fuck jerkass it really is you. Collapses to the ground crying like I'm so sorry for being a dumbass and killing you man, your nuts were right there.

Also, it's funny he's saying this to Makima out of jealousy towards Denji, but he'll also say this to anyone trying to date Denji after caring for him bc he gets the bird leaving nest vibes and he sucks at talking about feelings.

Him saying this to Reze would be incredibly funny actually.

He's so cute here. Grown man who smokes getting salty about a "brat" being given preferential attention.

This scene is actually funnier in retrospect knowing Makima is a devil and he has a crush on her.

Even the way he's so salty here about a "brat" being given preferential attention is kinda noteworthy. Makima as the "mother" Aki as the "big brother" Denji as the "younger sibling" he has to take care of.

I'd say the jealousy stems more from pettiness that he doesn't outgrow in his adulthood because he's lived his life not getting to have what he wants growing up due to circumstances out of his control, especially getting passed over for his younger brother and he's had to come to terms with that. So him putting down Denji before Makima is a reflection of that spite towards Denji being able to get her to speak highly of him despite being a new recruit with poor manners and conduct, essentially the opposite of him as someone who worked his way up to prove himself and presents himself in an orderly fashion especially in her presence. And you can see that too in the way he confronts Denji in the alley and his reaction to Denji saying Makima "hugged" him.

It's a feeling he doesn't have closure for, so it pops up despite the veneer of stoic maturity and professionalism he establishes for himself. Even in the way he dealt with the woman who slapped Himeno by sticking gum on her clothes as an own despite being what Himeno says a "dark and broody" type. It's a childish way of addressing feeling wronged/what he perceives to be unfair but it's also in these moments that he lets his guard down and have his say because he believes he could justify it and it not being in conflict with how he defines himself (e.g that his criticism of Denji is valid due to it being at odds with how PS operates, his 'eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth' belief w the gum and because it pissed him off lmao) a sense of righteous indignation, even if it appears to be out of character or silly to an external perspective because he isn't being "the bigger person" expected of his standing. It's not so much that Aki is a jealous type as much as it's more that Aki is predisposed to displaying jealousy in an obvious and petty manner to do right by himself or make himself known and thus coming off as going against his whole image as a respectable, seasoned senior/adult that he tries to uphold to be taken seriously.

Especially under conditions that echo the sore spots from his childhood. (His lack of reaction to Himeno seducing Denji with a kiss at the start and aftermath of Eternity arc with his discomfort only being shown in the context of Denji saying he'll kill the Gun Devil [for Makima] the guy who shoved poop up his nose with Power that same morning and regarded as beneath him as a devil and a "brat".)

And that's very gap moe of him. Aki's pretty much a loser at heart, love that for him.

(Btw I hope this doesn't come across as like confrontational to your input, it's more of an elaboration behind what I think informs Aki's jealousy. 😅😅😅 I appreciate your thoughts in the tags!)

Ngl I like this post because it kind of adds another layer to Aki's little flaw- esp when you explain how the way he bitterly expresses his jealousy is due to his inadequacy of not getting to have what he wants unless he works hard for it; and them him being able to express his clear jealousy and feelings of being wronged under a justification- like as you said, him showing jealousy over a bratty and messy Denji getting his needs handed to him on a silver platter while he had to work hard to have his own needs met

And I also agree about how much of a loser he is for that, love it when he breaks his stoic and cold character to reveal that he's indeed a normal human who gets jealous and petty by a "brat" getting more attention than him and who gets super enraged because of a devil and a bratty kid

He tries so hard but he's , at the end of the day, just a guy. Honestly in some retrospect, he is highly transparent. His emotions show up clearly on his face, maybe miscommunicated but it shows which is very VERY ooc for the facade of utter indifference he tries to put up. He's such a loser.

And about his emotions being a mess and coming out even Messier:

THIS panel. God this is such a gold. And I do feel he feels bitter or shit talks about people he actually let's in in his personal space aka whom he regards with some semblance of closeness that he is comfortable enough to shit talk about them.

🍻🃏 blackjack comm for @ legundy

this shit must have been so confusing for denji

Himeno Pixel Art Character Portraits

just don't kill my women

first devil hunter and control

smells like hell