My new book “Falling Through Love” in bookstores worldwide now or you can order it online here: http://bit.ly/2OjuEnl
New poem! Hope you like it <3
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My new book "Falling Through Love" in bookstores worldwide now or you can order it online here: http://bit.ly/2OjuEnl
This was the year of pain, of reaching out to people and learning to say I am not okay. The year of teaching that brokenness is as common as casualty, as beautiful as kindness. All my friends tell me you are same when you are drunk and when you are not. You have so much energy. This was the year I killed myself to be light. Crawled my way into my heart and threw away the dark. The year I gave up a lot and gained a lot more. The year I taught strangers to pronounce my name right. The year of solitude and self love. The year of smiling with people on the bus. The year of learning. Of knowing. The year my name and my body were one. The year of rainbows, of colour, of giving and sharing. The year of perspective.
It is not something you go out to seek
It comes to you in forms so bleak
Foresight and vision are masks unkind
Spite and pride have made us blind
Like a heavy hammer ridden with rust
Forced emotions are tailored rough.
So sit back, dear human, and relax
Make love your parable, once you’ve a chance
Love is not something you go out to seek
It finds you in despair and defeat
Never in nights of union or days replete
It comes to you in forms so bleak.
Akif Kichloo, On Love.
"THE DIAGNOSIS: BIPOLARITY"
The highs and lows of life—
a bipolarity.
living in two extremes,
swaying from the highs of mania
to the lows of grief.
A doctor suggested that
I take few pills every morning
And then a few more every night.
My bed—
once a source of immense joy,
looks more like a coffin.
The eminences on the borders and the hollow space inside
define me more than any book I can read or write.
Right at the edge of sanity—
I live with something neither far enough to being committed,
Nor near enough to completely lose my mind.
The pills work
But they keep me silent—
Dormant.
Away from the frivolities of the good times
But further away from the fragilities of the lows.
Science is the answer
Maybe that is why I am a doctor.
But science is not the answer.
That is why we are much more than doctors.
Songs are better than pills
And so I navigate through words,
Only to struggle to form a sentence to best describe how I feel—
Must be because of the pills, I console myself,
But these consolations get older with time,
These excuses get repetitive.
I have become a novelty to write and to be written about,
Another case study for these doctors who are being paid to play a partner in my agony,
Paid to lend me their shoulders & guide me towards light.
For days I see no light,
For days at no end I don’t sleep,
And than for days, sleep engulfs me life a python savoring its new kill-
Hours turn into days,
Days into weeks.
It has been a roller coaster ride
But as it seems,
These rides are better
when you have someone clenching your fist
as you take the fall
against gravity
And than rise up again.
I rise up again,
We all rise up again.
Because we are bipolar.
—Akif Kichloo, Bipolarity.
Source: akifkichloo.com
UNTITLED LOVE
I catch myself only when I lose myself in you, completely. There is no half measure in my love and what I am supposed to be. I don't say it, you don't know it. That is how it is and that is how it will be. I will just keep doing good to you and for you, until one day when my lungs give up. And that day I will lose myself into you all over again, and as I lose my breath, I know you will catch it for me and yes, I will hymn to you, and as my life dances into the torn pieces of confetti, I know every piece, every colour, will have you. This is the way it is, this is the way it has always been. I am you, I have always been you.
I make love to you when you fuck me, and the camp fire always burns too close, for it knows the cold in you for me. I have replaced your hands for whiskey, your lips for memories and the night stand, the doorstep, the night lamp, they all weep for me. You are my one night's worth of warm, when I dream of that night to be the whole of my life. And the lie that I live is because the truth is far away from reality and what ever it might be, it is never you. And you are never me, you have never been me.
—Akif Kichloo, Untitled Love
Source: akifkichloo.com
Behind that silent tone,
And your heart beating quiet;
I see your eyes scream in pain.
Akif kichloo
Source: akifkichloo.com
Did you know, loving out of guilt is more intense than loving out of love. It is uglier too though.
Akif Kichloo
Source: akifkichloo.com
Yes, I picked you up at a spanish club where we tangoed, hand in hand, legs moving at 4, where everyone counted 1,2,3, turn and I counted your eyes, your lips, your smile, turn. When your thoughts wandered in frenzy questions like; will he kiss me at the end of this song, why is he looking at me like that, is he just another player looking to find one night's worth of love in the dark, turn. While I counted, god she is going to change me, my life is heading out of this oblivion of endless loud moans and into one chaotic silence, maybe this is it, she might be the one, turn. I didn't think I was ready back then, maybe the 1,2,3 beat was not my style, but the next morning when I made you breakfast, I knew, this is what I was going to do for the rest of my life.
Akif Kichloo
Source: akifkichloo.com
"Cultural Zeitgeist" I am amused and depressed at the same time when I think about the foolishness of thought in our society; Where achievements are equated to the amount written on the pay checks of individuals, where television advertisements dictate what useless crap we buy next, and where the width of the television screen placed in our living rooms decides our social status. I am equally astonished when I think about how society fiddles with a woman's brain from such an early age, so much so that women start to take pride in flaunting the fact that they are totally out of touch with their sexuality and find honor in being deprived of sexual liberation. I feel shocked when I see how gender specific roles are assigned to every human and how every one has imbibed these ridiculous and disrespectful gimmicks as social norms and moral values. How a man who cooks well is considered useless while every woman's worth is based on her cutlery skills. I find it appalling when I see parents asking their daughters to behave 'like a lady', and worst yet, when girl friends and wives who themselves been victims of this, taunt their boy friends' or husbands' with lines like, "Stop acting like a girl" and phrases like "Stop being a girl and man up" How does one man up? By being the bread winner and bossing around women and children? And how does one stop being a girl? I don't have the answer. It is highly displeasing how we have accepted social stupidities for moral norms and the way everyone is okay with this lack of disparity in thought. It makes me sick, when I think about it. It is totally out of my understanding how people can't see it. It might be a comfort zone that we have created for ourselves, but we will be parents one day and then—what will we teach our children? What will we teach our sons? That it is not okay if they want to grow up and be a stay at home dad and take care of their family? That making dinner for their wife and kids, and cleaning the house makes them lesser of men? And what will we teach our daughters? That their self-worth is determined by the number of boys that want to be with them or the number of dishes they know to prepare in the kitchen? What are we going to teach them, when we ourselves are living in proud ignorance, with such a flawed mentality? —Akif Kichloo, Cultural Zeitgeist. DO SHARE THIS, IF YOU AGREE !
Source: akifkichloo.com
Feel the pain; Grieve as long as you wish Dry up those wells in you. I will sit beside— in silence. —Akif Kichloo
Source: akifkichloo.com