Airrec

Sadly reporting that I had a dream and the only scene I remember from it was Dream saying in some random livestream that his initial scripts for DSMP Season 2 had c!Dream and c!Punz as news anchors and commentators for the goings on of the server (the dream did not specify whether they remembered S1 or not, but it sounded like a pretty funny idea to me). He then started sounding really sad about lost friendships and how it was never going to happen (in context of Tommy's extracanonical in-character conversation from a few days ago and no longer being close to either Tommy or Punz) and ended the stream.

I then, and I sigh at this, went onto Tumblr (still dreaming) and started drafting a post talking about how CCs can't "out-canon" each other, and no single CC can retcon a shared piece of canon they all agreed on unless everyone else agrees to as well, and how one CC's plans do not mean that their vision supersedes all others and that they have power over where others go with their stories and how they do so. I then went on to remind people that even DSMP S1 had bits of canon material that just straight up didn't match up with what others were doing (especially earlier in the server's life) and that that's just a part of the medium and part of being semi-scripted and semi-improv.

I then woke up and mourned that 1. we would never get c!Dream and c!Punz as sarcastic and funny news anchors and 2. the background radiation of discourse was starting to invade my dreams. Anyway, enjoy the idea, block those who don't spark joy, and keep on creating 🥰

Guys... you're not going to believe this. You're going to laugh at me.

Remember a couple of months ago when I made a post about experiencing a shadowban on another blog and we all laughed?

Now other mods on that blog are experiencing more shadowban symptoms than just me (can't see notes, can't see mentions, etc). Luckily, they all can still see the inbox, even if I can't, so that's one silver lining.

As a point of reference as to why this is laugh-worthy: when this blog (@airrec) got shadowbanned, it was less than two days before the start of my Dreblr Spooky Week event.

The time when the glitched event blog started acting up was today (one mod said he could still see mentions last night). Today is the first day of the event.

Tumblr just doesn't want me running events, guys 😔 My power is too great, that's twice in a row it's been curtailed now.

Let's talk about the relationship between "personal level redemption (i.e. one character starts making changes for the better)" and "the corrupt institution/context in which the characters are developed to hurt each other".

Now, one or two characters reaching the point where they say "that's it, no more, I don't want this, this is not right, I am choosing not to continue on this path" is great, don't get me wrong. Redemption (AKA the path towards trying to do better, to make reparations, to not repeat the mistakes of before - forgiveness is not an obligation here, only that the character has recognised their hurtful actions and has ceased them and is now trying to do better) on a personal level is so important, and should not be diminished in value.

However, it is also simply and factually true that when it comes to the context in which certain characters have made those terrible choices or been forced to become something they otherwise might never have become, that in order for there to be actual long term solutions, those corrupt systems, those violent institutions - those must be dismantled. These things must stop in order for the system to not just keep on chugging, to not just break the next set of characters as it broke the last ones.

Sometimes, a character cannot realistically meaningfully travel very far down their path to redemption before something changes or shifts within that system in order to allow them that. For example, a character who is constantly on the defensive because people are hunting them down to try to kill them doesn't have the option of not defending themselves (usually with violence) unless they choose to die at their hunters' hands. Even if they do not start fights, they can't disengage if others start them first; in order to stop, others must also stop.

It is unfair, in contexts where there is a great and systematic corruption, to place the onus of a "happy ending" on singular people if there is no intention of dismantling the system that gave birth to such horrors. How cruel, how unjust, to take one person and say to them, "this is all, totally and completely, your fault, and it is your responsibility to change because you are the thing that needs fixing here."

Think of it like climate change: yeah, sure, putting your rubbish into the correct bins and reducing your personal carbon footprint etc is helpful. But what change you can make, if you make it alone, if you make it isolated, will never meaningfully chip away at the global level of pollution caused by the whole system. What needs to happen is a lot of people banding together to force the system to change, and for those who benefit from it to be held accountable. Because that's the other element of tragedy: there is nearly always someone benefitting from the tragedy, and it is not often those who are the most blamed or slandered.

Yourself may be a good place to start, but it is not where it ends. It is a long hard road, to the recognition that there are many factors that contribute towards tragedy - to the personal choices of characters, and to the reasons they made those choices in the first place; the action = reaction, the consequences, the pressures, the emotional and mental factors, the physical factors, the numerous interweaving stories of everyone trying to protect them and theirs, and sometimes in doing so hurting others.

Redemption and understanding how tragedy came to be is rarely as simple as we want it to be, and this complexity is a feature, not a bug. If you want to be able to point at someone and say "there; that is the bad thing" then 99/100 times I would first take a good look around to see what made the bad thing bad. Then I would take one good look at yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself if you could have been the bad thing, too, if things had shaken out just that little bit differently - the answer might not be one that comforts you.

no that would be enough update today sorry :/

to the poor anon who asked for writing advice over a month ago: i am working on it. i have merely become carried away with myself because i want to give you a proper answer and sometimes you cannot condense or simplify an explanation of a topic into only one or two paragraphs and have it still be the same topic at the end.

When considering characters' canonical relationships to each other, one must remember that --

-- are all three different facets of a relationship.

Equating them with each other is a fallacy that is easy to fall into, but it's important that when talking objective meta analysis of canon, one doesn't forget that just because, for example, a relationship is healthy/respectful that automatically makes it stronger and makes it weigh more in the characters' decision-making than another relationship.

Potentiality is not actuality; analysing what is, and extrapolating from there into what could be, are both two important elements to meta analysis. But it's important not to confuse one with the other, and then to further confuse that with fan created content.

oh shit it's may and I haven't posted anything dsmp related since january, uhhh [spins wheel] dreamnoblade mermay oneshot it is

I just feel like everyone should know that in a twist of "so ironically tragic it wraps right back around to being hilarious" I am experiencing a shadowban for a different sideblog now.

It appears that group blogs experience them very differently, as I am having the usual "can't see asks in the inbox" problem (and cannot access anon asks through the activity pop-up list), and obviously group blogs do not have a DM option in the first place so that's not a loss, but the "unseen activity" blue icon doesn't pop up for anything related to the blog :(

Thankfully, the other four mods are not experiencing the same glitch, so the blog is still searchable, has its notes appear, there are multiple someones who can access the inbox, etc.

Anyway, if you're also a Hermitcraft | Traffic Life fan, and you like the pairing Scarian (it is a ship week event), please go check out Hot Scarian Summer! For my sufferings, you understand.

DSMP x Manhunt crossover where M!Sam gets yeeted into the DSMP and meets c!Sam during the prison arc before he meets anyone else.

Cool! He thinks. Instead of a running game they did an escape room thing!

Then he actually sees the prisoner and uh-oh, there has been a Miscommunication somewhere here. c!Sam is one nasty piece of work, apparently. M!Sam should... solve that.

(POV you're c!Dream and a much friendlier and more understanding version of your captor and Warden appears with him, they disappear off together, and then he returns bloodstained and he hauls you up and over his shoulder kidnapping-a-bride style and takes a leisurely jaunt straight into another dimension, thoroughly ruining all of your plans but also rescuing you from torture. What a day.)

(POV you're c!Techno and you arrive to an empty prison bar the Warden screaming that his evil alternate self just took The Prisoner and that they've both escaped with no trace. What the hell.)

In a really really weird way there is only one thing I miss about being shadowbanned: because my tags didn't show up in posts I could theoretically say anything and almost no one would see it other than the Chosen Few of my followers who had it appear through the glitchy mist and alight upon their dashboards.

I started not even thinking twice about wondering if I was being annoying by putting a tag rant in (<- I am fully aware that potentially being annoying is not a crime and in fact comes free with your humanity. Get loved idiot). Not that I didn't do that Before - I tip my hat to everyone who put up with that - but I'm just suddenly more aware of it now lol.

In Blob Dream Body Horror AU, c!Dream (if he ever regains his human body) is gonna have... so many body image issues.

There are the obvious difficulties, such as speech, body language, regaining physical sensation, perception of danger after so long of being basically-invulnerable, etc. (And also all of these are up for debate, as I have no set-in-stone idea for what c!Dream's renewed human form would even be like, and there are a lot of opportunities to explore depending on which way I take it.)

But here's something else: clothing and accessories. He takes back his clothes easily enough, he supposes, though he can be very finicky with textures now, and far more unwilling to suffer itchiness or rough fibres. He grabs for his greens, for his darker colours, for his smooth and strong and glowing armour. Sometimes, in safe places, he wears brighter ones, when he's already hidden so he doesn't have to hide more.

He avoids white, and tugs up a deep red scarf c!Techno gave him, made out of one of his old cloaks, over the bottom half of his face.

(He's had enough of smiling. Sometimes, moving his own face into expressions is - delayed. Can be slightly wrong for the emotion, too little intensity, or not showing at all. A blunted affect, from someone who was once so incapable of not showing his every thought and feeling on his face he had to physically hide it away from strangers.)

He shatters the smile mask.

In honour of May the 4th (Be With You), have a short extract from my incomplete sort-of crossover sort-of fusion WIP!

Nearly an entire half-year later... I emerge from the shadow realm, still alive, finally... free.

Difficult and interesting question! I like a lot of my fics for different reasons (I am one of those people that occasionally re-reads their own fics because I am my own intended audience), so have a more involved answer. Minor spoilers below.

Fic I enjoyed writing the most:

this is your hardest scene – one of my lesser-known works! This was born when I thought about Hope the Cat too much (I owned cats growing up) and how little recognition there is in wider fandom of how pointless and painful her death was (because it was at the hands of c!Tommy) and the bonds between humans and pets. This was written before the finale streams, so it’s not exactly canon-compliant, but this fic uses her death as a type of breaking point for c!Dream in how much he is willing to lose to try and save the SMP – and where he draws the line. It was my favourite to write because a) kitty :D, b) canon divergence implied happy ending, c) cool dream sequence scene, and d) I did it in one day and the words flowed easily, which is a not-insignificant factor in writing enjoyment.

What I think is my most underrated fic (if I do say so myself):

INT: SAM’S OLD BASE, THE CELLAR – NIGHT. This one’s in Second Person POV, and it’s very short, and could probably be considered one of those “canon-compliant in that it’s not contradicting canon in any way it’s just a missing scene” fics. Leaping into c!Sam’s head and investigating the idea of lowkey perpetrator trauma as well as his skewed perception of his own actions through his eyes was interesting, and honestly I think more people should give this a shot.

Favourite spite-written fic:

Duplicity – I finally got sick of seeing one too many Manhunt!Dream = Good and DSMP!Dream = Evil fics that refused to investigate the idea of a crossover between the two with any sense of DSMP canon portrayed accurately, let alone nuance. This was typed out in a near-feverish haze of spite in about 40-50 mins, read through for typos, and then posted as-is. It did seem to speak to people :D

Favourite Awesamdream fic:

Ooh, it’s a toss up between Twenty-One Steps in the Desert and home to roost. The first is experimental in format, which made it fun to create and discover as I went along how it was forming, while the second presents a very interesting idea (in my opinion) for DSMP S2 and the connection between Sam Prime and c!Sam, because all your sins really do come home to roost when you’re a fictional character. The dream-like phantasmagoria of "Twenty-One Steps in the Desert" and all the symbolism shoved in there makes it stand out as more of an exploration of the emotional/mental state of the relationship between the two characters, while "home to roost" sets a distinct scene and implies a lot with its ending as to how the future could shake out.

The fic I think shows my writing skills best:

i wish to reclaim the rising – now this might be just because this fic has the highest word count, therefore giving my writing more space to display itself, but I do still love this fic, even if 3/4 of the main characters’ IRL actors now make me want to bash my head against a wall. I think this fic displays my physical description and setting ability, as well as my character relationship, development, and interaction ability very well, and I do look forward to finishing it eventually.

Fic I love the ending of the most:

nursed itself well (or died) – the amount of people who came crying to me in my comments over how the fic tagged with “Bittersweet Ending” did, indeed, have a bittersweet ending was quite large, hehe. Writing this fic was like pulling teeth at times, but I’m very proud of how it turned out, and the dream sequence in the final chapter is up there on the list of favourite scenes I have ever written. Sometimes the objectively best ending for a character is still one that is sad, and this fic demonstrates that perfectly, I feel. Also the poem I derived the titles from is very cool and I highly recommend a read.

Favourite canon-compliant (or at least not canon non-compliant) fic:

02:47 a.m. on the prime path in july – this fic indulges the idea of c!George and c!Punz actually interacting on-screen, with c!Dream as the heavy shadow over them. It’s an exploration through a conversation of the differences between them, the ways they mirror each other, and the places they diverge. Writing the two of them talking to each other (and past each other) while the audience knows more than either of the characters was very interesting, and I think it serves well as a missing scene.

Favourite canon-divergence fic:

Visitor – this was a hard one to choose, with second place going to Accident. I landed on this one because I enjoy the whole set-up here, and how it doesn’t necessarily imply a fix-it. The inclusion of c!George into the Plan and the scheming gives c!Dream more people in his corner and at the same time compounds his situation further because in no way is c!George someone with a strong moral compass. He is fully willing to burn the world down if he doesn’t get what he wants. In addition, c!Punz gets to have some perpetrator trauma as a treat, and the nuance there fleshes them out more as a character.

Favourite total AU fic:

blood money – inhuman!Dream and AFAB!Punz, what is there not to love? This fic catapults between its very serious main scene and its hilarious bonus scene, but never quite crosses into crackfic territory. I enjoy the amount of implied worldbuilding and backstory I’ve managed to shove into this short fic, and the relationship between the two characters which has a totally different spin on it than DSMP canon.

Other fics that need a shout out:

Covenant – canon found dead in Miami as Eggpire!Punz rescues c!Dream from Pandora’s Vault

can we just pretend – my c!Dreamnap thesis statement

Smile – DIY mostly off-screen dentistry with the Staged Duo boys