tomfoolery inbound

how about a driftloon!! they ‘could try to take children away’ but are just small little curious guys… i love them..

I too love drifloons and am happy to report that these little “Signposts for Wandering Spirits” (Platinum) would make fairly good pets. I think? Maybe? It’s complicated.

Size-wise, obviously, drifloons are perfect. Since these pokémon remain airborne at all times, they should be comfortable in any home. They do tend to prefer damp, humid environments (Diamond), but they don’t necessarily need these conditions to survive. If you live closer to the equator than not, then that’s bonus points for a happy and healthy drifloon.

Now, are these guys friendly? It’s really hard to say. Their reputation has been mixed up in folklore for years now, and cutting through to the truth can be difficult. What is objectively known is that these pokémon like to spend time around human children. It has often been reported that drifloons seek to “steal away” these kids, either physically or spiritually (Pearl), which would indicate some sort of malice behind their behavior. It’s even been said that any children who even grab onto them are liable to go missing (HeartGold/SoulSilver). More recent pokédex entries, however, seem to cast doubt on the validity to this folktale, emphasizing that these stories are merely whispered tales and postulating that these pokémon may merely be seeking to befriend and play with children (Ultra Moon, Sword). If you have children, you may want to keep an eye on them just in case, but there’s no definitive proof that this is something to be overly worried about. What we don’t have even a little information about, though, is how drifloons get around with adults. Since there’s not really any indication of antisocial behavior in the pokédex, I think it’s fair to assume that you would be able to get along with one well enough.

So why the B ranking? Drifloons, unfortunately, are pretty dangerous. While most of their moves would be inconvenient at best, two moves in particular — Self-Destruct and Explosion — are a bit of an issue. These explosive moves could easily be fatal, depending on how close you are to the drifloon when they use them. Thankfully, it seems unlikely that a drifloon would be quick to use these moves, even when upset, since it seems that they would cause them a lot of pain. According to the pokédex, “if for some reason its body bursts, its soul spills out with a screaming sound” (Moon). That sounds unpleasant at best. Nine times out of ten, as far as I can tell, you should be okay with these aloof, chill pokémon.

Before I close out, of course, I have to bring up the issue that comes up so often with ghost-type pokémon on this blog. According to the pokédex, drifloons are formed by the spirit is of both humans and pokémon (Diamond, Shield). Are these pokémon aware of this fact? Do they have memories of their past life? Is it okay to have a reincarnated human spirit as a pet? These are all big questions that I am not equipped to answer. When you adopt a ghost-type pokémon, you’re stepping into a mire of ethical mud, and you’re just gonna have to be okay with that.

Look, at the very least, if you’re an adult, there’s no way a single drifloon is strong enough to steal you away into the sky. Unless a bunch of them latch onto you like you’re the house from Up. In that case…good luck?