because i love you, dearest

was playing "fetch" with the ocean today by tossing stones into it and watching them wash back up with the tide a few meters away, and it got me thinking about grief and the things we carry with us even after we lose them

I don't know what it means that I saw this and thought, 'oh right, I haven't seen this in a while, and I've been needing it' but it seems apt

one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.

#deobirevival week #1: bias

He Cong | © Zhong Lin W Magazine China (June 2024)

Crying while explaining is a different level of pain

Younghoon: if no one will play with me, i’ll just go up to our dormitory and play with myself!

Juyeon:

Kevin:

Hyunjae:

Younghoon: …play by myself!

The most playful one of the bunch

I think so many problems online can be solved by either going "damn, not my problem" or simply sending a screenshot to a group chat

One of life's greatest joys, I think, is passing an AU back and forth with your friends and making it progressively hornier and more fucked up