The super secret shelves

The super-secret shelf story, March 2013. My daughter’s room is in a  shocking state. It has never been great, but since Christmas it has just become a quagmire. There are 4 different shelves/storage units . . and there is just no coping with the stuff in there. Plus the combo of 2 big windows and three doors leaves us limited on how to use the wall space that is left. I decided that shelves about 12" deep that went all the way to the ceiling would allow me to consolidate all the stuff in all the current furniture plus the stuff scattered all over plus possibly some of my artwork that has no home.

   I called Eby’s mill, but they said they don’t do ‘small orders’ (how can a goddam sawmill not have a few 1x12s lying around? Honestly?) I called Cessna’s Mill but they wouldn’t answer the phone or return my calls. I checked out Lowes and found that, for about $20 PER BOARD I could get not very good quality stuff. Eesh. It occurred to me to ask Grandpa, since he knows an awful lot about lumber. Where, oh where, can a person buy 1x12s? His answer was, “You can’t.” Small lots, as the mills told me, just 'aren’t done’ anymore. “But I can cut it for you,” he said, “and when it’s cured all summer it might be ready to make in the fall.” My heart sank.  Because I don’t want to wait for fall. I’ve had to wait and wait and wait for everything I’ve wanted for this house, sometimes as long as 12 years, and I just want some shelves NOW! I tried to sound cheerful when I said sure, that would be great.

   Astonishingly, within a day or two he emailed me that he had lumber already cut in the barns that I could have. He’d help. It’s not surprising that he had it, really, because he seems to collect lumber like some people collect stamps. I went down and, sure enough, there was all that I needed and then some. We set a time last Tuesday to start working on it. I was sorely disappointed when the stupid, stupid school system called off school Tuesday for no inclement weather whatsoever. I decided that secrecy was a flexible term and that a bit of clever lying would cover things just fine. I told the kids we were going to go down and help Grandpa move some boards, heavily implying that the boards were to remain Grandpa’s. So we did, and got things started a bit. I went back on Friday and braved the scary planer and the much scarier edging machine. Progress is being made, and I have ordered $160 of stuff from the Container Store to facilitate the final process.

   I am in the grips of several things that I don’t like and cannot control. I am obsessing about these shelves as a means to control one tiny bit of the chaos in my life. I know this. But, seriously, the room 'design’ that she has is so broken that a total reboot may be the only way to get things organized. I’ll be very, very happy to be able to tidy up her room and have places for things. All books on one shelf! How great is that! Clear boxes! Awesome!

A while back I posted about the overabundance of mid-2oth century costume jewelry I have inherited. One response to that post was a suggestion that I make it into hangable wall art with a frame and pieces fastened to an attractive background (such as black velvet).

I am definitely going to do that, as soon as I can get my hands on some shadow boxes. The other issue, though was a few nicer pieces, such as the matched set of jade earrings and cufflinks that my parents gave each other for their wedding.

They're too nice to mix in with costume jewelry, so I'm going to get the earrings remade into pendants, and then keep one for myself and send the other to my sil. It can be a memento of my mother. The cufflinks could go to my brother and my son - if I can figure out a way to repurpose them that they would actually like.

Wednesday afternoon I had to do (way too much) running around in town, and I slipped the earrings into a bag in my purse to take to a small jeweler. Even though it was about 1:30 when I got there, they all seemed to be on their lunch break. This being a small business in a small town, the lady In Charge just had one of the guys give up his chair and she sat opposite me at a tiny desk laden with a whole lot of clutter. I showed her the earrings, told her what I wanted, and she pulled out her loupe. "These are gold filled," she announced frostily, "We'd have to use a gold bail*; we Don't Do gold filled."

? Bitch? I briefly considered my options.

"I'm aware that they aren't valuable," I answered her, putting on my educated, white collar diction and lowering the temperature of my voice a few degrees. "However, I want them as a memento of my mother. You seem Dubious about this. Should I take them somewhere else?" I may or may not have raised one eyebrow.

aaaaaaand suddenly she was very, very happy to help me. We know all about sentimental value, yes we do, GARY GO GET ME THAT BOOK FROM THE FRONT ROOM. Gary, whose chair I had inadvertently stolen, ambled off to the front room to get the Big Book of jewelry bits-n-pieces. He brought it to her. It was a big book, all right. She flipped rapidly to the page she wanted. Her eyebrows drew into a scowl. "Well, THIS is asinine!" she exclaimed. Turns out that recent price increases have been SO extreme that this tiny little piece costs $86 dollars. At that point, she had my full agreement. That was asinine.

She started trying to think of more reasonable options. The guys behind me were having a political discussion that I was thankfully able to ignore completely, but when it got a little too loud she suddenly bellowed "CAN YOU GUYS KEEP IT DOWN!!!!"

I'm now biting the inside of my lip to keep from laughing. The guys are all middle-aged, she appeared to be at least 80 years old. They fell silent like second-graders who have underestimated their substitute teacher. She and I shared a Look.

It was taking every ounce of self control I had not to drop to the floor howling with laughter.

In the end, she gave me a receipt for the earring and promised, since we have plenty of time before Christmas, to find a reasonably-priced bail and turn the blasted earrings into pendants. I left with a pleasant expression on my face, and didn't melt down until I was out in the parking lot.

If I ever get them back, I will post a better photo than the one above. It has been an adventure, for certain-sure.

-* The bail is the part of the pendant that the chain goes through. I did not know that either.