A Grown-up Geek Girl

Couldn't deal with my pain anymore tonight so absolutely high as fuck instead tonight.

Proof of life I guess.

Close to my 2 year anniversary of my surgery.

130 pounds and some change lost.

Went from not even being able to walk to going to the gym 3-4 times a week.

Started yoga.

Self esteem always a work in progress.

Part 1

Morning Nerds 🤓

Back at it after a few days off 💪🏻

This part of my journey and dealing with Fibromyalgia has tested my endurance and mental fortitude to be sure, but I can feel myself growing stronger and I'm proud of my progress.

One of the reason I've been in my feels lately is I've worked really really hard to improve my health and no matter what I do I will always be in pain.. no matter how hard I work, it is never going to go away.

I think I was a bit more complacent when I was highly overweight because I was so inactive that even though I hurt it was just something that "was". Now I'm walking, doing yoga, and going to the gym and I can see/feel progress and so my brain I think thought "Oh you won't hurt as much, won't that be amazing!?" But, chronic illness doesn't work that way, and no matter what I will always have Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and so hurting 24/7, not sleeping well, and struggling to walk sometimes will never go away.

My knees aching so badly I can hardly move or walk sometimes, let alone sleep, is apparently not enough for the Dr's here to let me have injections, because "your only 44" and "if you want surgery later injections could be an issue". When they say later they mean 20 years from now!! So I'm just supposed to suck it up and cry in pain for the next 20 years? They gave me exercises to do, which I'm already doing and have been doing for the the last 6-9 months between yoga and the gym.

Just frustrated and venting..

So stiff upper lip and all that.. and back to work.

Not even close to what I want but the Dr's says my progress is good though I'll have to have surgery eventually to remove the tummy. No matter what I do working out won't get rid of that because of the massive weight loss.

Progress has been made though so I'm happy.

Don't forget your meds my sweet Nerds 🤓

I have multiple Chronic illnesses and have had a Gastric Sleeve surgery so this is a life long thing for me. Just because someone doesn't look sick doesn't mean they are not.

Show compassion, you never know what someone is dealing with.

In pain this morning but I have things to do, wish me luck.

Been awake since 2am... It's almost 6 now 😭