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Winter Is Coming with Fire and Blood

@aerltarg / aerltarg.tumblr.com

dany stan first, human being second. also rhaelya and jonerys trash, targ slut, stark apologist, reblogging whore. asoiaf sideblog. everything is queued. welcome.
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reblogged

D&D saying that one of their favorite plots from the books is the Boltons in Winterfell is a massive sign of their sexism. Now, for anyone one else, I'd probably not care, in fact, I'd agree it's a very interesting part. However, when it comes to the showrunners who needlessly wrote in excessive rape and violence against women, I see it as a red flag. That's compounded by the way they wrote it.

From the beginning of the show, D&D sabotaged the storyline by removing Jeyne Poole. Keep in mind, ADWD was released in 2008, while GOT premiered in 2011, meaning there was no possible way for D&D to not know everything necessary to bring about that specific plot. Add to that the fact that GRRM was heavily involved in season one, them blatantly ignoring Jeyne makes even less sense if they truly cared about adapting it properly.

Knowing this, that D&D themselves sabotaged their own story, the way it was handled makes a bit more sense, though not nearly enough. Without Jeyne there to play the part of fake Arya, a new bride for Ramsay was needed. Sansa was D&D's favorite character, they were unsatisfied with the story GRRM had written for her, they wanted more screen time and plot relevance for her. It seemed like making Sansa take Jeyne's place was a good solution to both these issues.

Except it wasn't. Littlefinger sending Sansa out of the Vale to marry Ramsay makes no sense. Not only is Sansa the object of Littlefinger's obsession, a replacement for Catelyn in his mind, she also was important to Littlefinger getting the Vale on his side (in the show). She was charming the lords and knights, balancing their intense dislike for him with their desire to help/protect her. Not to mention she was his only alibi to save him from accusations of Lysa's murder. Sending her away from the Vale harms Littlefinger's plans. She also would definitely not be "protected" from Cersei; after all the Boltons were loyal to the Lannisters and hated the Starks, what's to stop them from killing Sansa or handing her over once the Northern lords are more settled?

Speaking of the Northern lords, D&D removed the Northern Conspiracy. Throughout the book plot, the Northern lords are plotting to save Arya and depose the Boltons (in a nutshell, it's actually much more complex, but I'm not going into that rn). It's an excellent expression of how the Northerners loved the Starks and hate the Boltons. In the show, the lords are a bit disgruntled, sure, but they have no interest in deposing the Boltons and saving Sansa.

Another major part of the storyline minimized by the show is Theon/Reek. Theon's struggle with identity is a major part of his character throughout the series, and ADWD is no different. He's been stripped entirely of his identity by Ramsay's torture and Theon's own choices. Part of his arc in this book is discovering himself apart from the Starks and the Greyjoys.

That's definitely not what the show did. As I said earlier, Sansa is D&D's favorite character, so naturally she became the center focus of this arc, while Theon was pushed aside. He's essentially reduced to the method of Sansa's escape and goes on track to return to his pre-season one perception of himself: a Stark. This is a massive disservice to his character, Theon isn't a Stark; his life with them is important to his storyline and will definitely inform what he becomes, but it's not the true culmination of his arc. Basically, Theon was turned into a side character in his own story. It's through his pov we see this story, he's the character most tied to Ramsay. Obviously Jeyne is important and a main character in her own right for this arc, but she is not the central character we see the story through. So why is Sansa? She has no stake in this story, Jeyne is forced there after being sex trafficked and Theon is a captive.

So what does this leave for the show version of the plot? There's no conspiracy, Theon's pushed to the side, and politics and overall story are sacrificed. Well that leaves torture and violence against Ramsay's bride. Without the many moving parts of that storyline, it's just a story of a woman being abused horribly by her husband and eventually escaping. However, the escape isn't even the main aspect of the story focused on, that's always the abuse. It's also purely Sansa's abuse, not Theon's or the many people tortured and murdered by Ramsay, Sansa is the sole focus.

So basically, D&D took a plotline that's filled with the inner workings of Northern politics and the complexities of battling identity loss and reduced it to another excuse to show a woman be raped and abused on screen. The desire to turn this stroy into another way to make Sansa suffer is disturbing, and to make matters worse she fucking thanks Ramsay later on?? This whole storyline in the show is disgusting and yet another sign of how sexist D&D are.

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003-alissa

What's mindboggling is that D&D loved Sansa but also put her in a situation where she's tortured and abused. You know, almost like they enjoy their favourite female characters to be so victimized...

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cosmiart
That’s Sansa’s little friend, the steward’s girl. Jeyne, that was her name. Jeyne Poole.
“Lord Ramsay.” The girl dipped down before him. That was wrong as well. The real Arya Stark would have spat into his face. “I pray that I will make you a good wife and give you strong sons to follow after you.”
“That you will,” promised Ramsay, “and soon.”

Reek II, A Dance with Dragons

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stormborns

Chapters of A Song of Ice & Fire - A Dance With Dragons - Reek I Arya Underfoot, he almost said. Arya Horseface. Robb's younger sister, brown-haired, long-faced, skinny as a stick, always dirty. Sansa was the pretty one. He remembered a time when he had thought that Lord Eddard Stark might marry him to Sansa and claim him for a son, but that had only been a child's fancy. Arya, though... "I remember her. Arya."

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stormborns

Chapters of A Song of Ice & Fire - A Dance With Dragons - Reek II The girl was slim, and taller than he remembered, but that was only to be expected. Girls grow fast at that age. Her dress was grey wool bordered with white satin; over it she wore an ermine cloak clasped with a silver wolf's head. Dark brown hair fell halfway down her back. And her eyes... That is not Lord Eddard's daughter. Arya had her father's eyes, the grey eyes of the Starks. A girl her age might let her hair grow long, add inches to her height, see her chest fill out, but she could not change the color of her eyes. That's Sansa's little friend, the steward's girl. Jeyne, that was her name, Jeyne Poole. "Lord Ramsay." The girl dipped down before him. That was wrong as well. The real Arya Stark would have spat into his face.

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vivacissimx

theon's gender was always broken

Theon's gender has never belonged to him, but rather to the various authority figures in his life - Ned Stark, Balon Greyjoy, Ramsay and Roose Bolton; Asha, who does not own his gender so much as inhabits it. In general the roles Theon plays are separated from his inner world (ward vs. hostage identity, with whom his loyalty and affection lie, what customs he values/follows), and in service to the men around him.

Part of what makes Theon's gender performance so unsatisfactory is how obviously he works at it. However Theon acts while ward to Winterfell, it's viewed with the idea that it's not his true nature. That Iron Islanders are not known to act that way. Balon and Theon's uncles never deviate from the belief than Theon's masculinity is Stark-made, too weak to survive their way of life. The violence of Reek's gender is inescapable because it's written onto his body. This doesn't serve because the work of gender isn't meant to be obvious, it's supposed to appear innate.

Constructing gender in front of everyone's eyes is taboo in hyperpatriarchal settings, in a class-based societies, because it lets everyone in on the trick. If everyone gets to judge and be judged by how well they adhere to heavily gendered social rules, then it's essential that gender and class appear seamless. That outliers are like Brienne, or Tyrion, or Varys are othered or else the cracks start to show.

Theon begins asoiaf as an able-bodied apparently gender-conforming guy, if disconcerting. Masculinity is commonly performed for the benefit of other men, and in Theon's case this holds true, yet he rarely benefits from doing so! We can argue that his gender is fundamentally different by the end of ADWD, because abuse is forever-changing and he's no longer able to present in the ways he took comfort in... but what's consistent is that his gender was never really his.

More about the how's & who's of Theon's gender performance beneath the cut~

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theonsource

THEON MONTH || Day 21: Horror and Death

On the far side, he had kissed her. “You’ve saved us,” he said. Fool. Fool.
Within the hour, they were taken. One dog knocked him to the ground, and a second bit Kyra on the leg as she scrambled up a hillside. The rest surrounded them, baying and snarling, snapping at them every time they moved, holding them there until Ramsay Snow rode up with his huntsmen. He was still a bastard then, not yet a Bolton. “There you are,” he said, smiling down at them from the saddle. “You wound me, wandering off like this. Have you grown tired of my hospitality so soon?” That was when Kyra seized a stone and threw it at his head. It missed by a good foot, and Ramsay smiled. “You must be punished.”
Reek remembered the desperate, frightened look in Kyra’s eyes. She had never looked so young as she did in that moment, still half a girl, but there was nothing he could do.

~ A DANCE WITH DRAGONS

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selkiewife

Theon Month || Day 16: Dehumanization

This isn’t really a meta, I just wanted to offer up a quote and an observation for today. I think what is particularly gripping about Theon’s identity arc in A Dance with Dragons is that the main question is not even “Who am I as a person?” or “Am I a Stark or Greyjoy?” He had those questions all his life and it was the center of a lot of his conflict before Ramsay. But the question of ADWD is even more basic than that: 

“Am I still a person?” 

It had been so long. He was no rider. He was not even a man. He was Lord Ramsay’s creature, lower than a dog, a worm in human skin. 
“You will pretend to be a prince,” Lord Ramsay told him last night, as Reek was soaking in a tub of scalding water, “but we know the truth. You’re Reek. You’ll always be Reek, no matter how sweet you smell. Your nose may lie to you. Remember your name. Remember who you are.”
~ A Dance with Dragons, Reek II

This idea of Theon being denied his humanity and his personhood is haunting. And it is also is a great echo of the larger story being told as well. The big questions of A Song of Ice and Fire are also gradually transitioning from “Who am I? What house am I? Where are my alliances? Who is on the throne?” to “What does it mean to be human? How can humanity save itself?” (Or at least I think so.) And this is not to say that politics won’t be important. They will. But even the emerging leaders in the series are transitioning from questions of the old guard- like “how do I (or how does my family) achieve and keep power?” to questions like “How do we stop slavery? How do we make positive societal change? How do we protect humanity?”

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theonsource

THEON MONTH 2022 || Day 15: Theon’s Captors

Ned Stark
Lord Eddard had tried to play the father from time to time, but to Theon he had always remained the man who’d brought blood and fire to Pyke and taken him from his home. As a boy, he had lived in fear of Stark’s stern face and great dark sword.
~A Clash of Kings
Ramsay Bolton
He will flay me inch by inch. When my fingers are gone he will take my hands. After my toes, my feet. But only when I beg for it, when the pain grows so bad that I plead for him to give me some relief. There would be no hot baths for Reek. He would roll in shit again, forbidden to wash. The clothes he wore would turn to rags, foul and stinking, and he would be made to wear them till they rotted. The best he could hope for was to be returned to the kennels with Ramsay’s girls for company.
~ A Dance with Dragons
Stannis Baratheon
Theon Greyjoy opened his eyes. His shoulders were on fire and he could not move his hands. For half a heartbeat he feared he was back in his old cell under the Dreadfort, that the jumble of memories inside his head was no more than the residue of some fever dream. I was asleep, he realized. That, or passed out from the pain. When he tried to move, he swung from side to side, his back scraping against stone. He was hanging from a wall inside a tower, his wrists chained to a pair of rusted iron rings… Theon Greyjoy chortled. A stab of pain went up his arms, from his shoulders to his wrists. All he had done, all he had suffered, Moat Cailin and Barrowton and Winterfell, Abel and his washerwomen, Crowfood and his Umbers, the trek through the snows, all of it had only served to exchange one tormentor for another.
~ The Winds of Winter
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Day 10 : power and agency

  • In Adwd Theon has been stripped of all his agency .Even when he wants to escape , to kill his captor ,to save Jeyne , his fear that Ramsay will harm him more takes over .
Serve and obey and remember who you are, and no more harm will come to you. He promised, his lordship promised. Even if he had wanted to resist, he did not have the strength. It had been scourged from him, starved from him, flayed from him. When Little Walder pulled him up and Big Walder waved the torch at him to herd him from the cell, he went along as docile as a dog. If he'd had a tail, he would have tucked it down between his legs.
If I had a tail, the Bastard would have cut it off[..]
Yes, my lord. I was bad, my lord. Insolent and …" He licked his lip, trying to think of what else he had done. Serve and obey, he told himself, and he'll let you live, and keep the parts that you still have.

Reek I Adwd

Reek did not dare to look back, for fear that Damon and Yellow Dick and Grunt and the rest were coming after him, that all of this was just another of Lord Ramsay's japes, some cruel test to see what he would do if they gave him a horse and set him free. Do they think that I will run? The stot they had given him was a wretched thing, knock-kneed and half-starved; he could never hope to outdistance the fine horses Lord Ramsay and his hunters would be riding. And Ramsay loved nothing more than to set his girls baying on the trail of some fresh prey.

Reek II Adwd

Help me." She clutched at him. "Please. I used to watch you in the yard, playing with your swords. You were so handsome." She squeezed his arm. "If we ran away, I could be your wife, or your … your whore … whatever you wanted. You could be my man."
Theon wrenched his arm away from her. "I'm no … I'm no one's man." A man would help her. "Just … just be Arya, be his wife. Please him, or … just please him, and stop this talk about being someone else."[...]
Theon drew the dagger. All I need do is turn and stab him. The knife is in my hand. He knew the game by then. Another trap, he told himself, remembering Kyra with her keys. He wants me to try to kill him. And when I fail, he'll flay the skin from the hand I used to hold the blade. He grabbed a handful of the bride's skirt. "Stand still, my lady." The gown was loose below the waist, so that was where he slid the blade in, slicing upward slowly, so as not to cut her. Steel whispered through wool and silk with a faint, soft sound. The girl was shaking. Theon had to grab her arm to hold her still. Jeyne, Jeyne, it rhymes with pain. He tightened his grip, as much as his maimed left hand would allow. "Stay still."
Finally the gown fell away, a pale tangle round her feet. "Her smallclothes too," Ramsay commanded. Reek obeyed.

The prince of Winterfell Adwd

Theon …" she whispered, weeping.
"Reek." He grabbed her arm and shook her. "In here I'm Reek. You have to remember, Arya." But the girl was no true Stark, only a steward's whelp. Jeyne, her name is Jeyne. She should not look to me for rescue. Theon Greyjoy might have tried to help her, once. But Theon had been ironborn, and a braver man than Reek. Reek, Reek, it rhymes with weak.

The turncloak Adwd

  • By the end of the book , despite still living in constant fear of Ramsay , he finds the power to escape and save Jeyne .
Theon might never have spotted her but for the way she trembled. Jeyne had pulled the furs up over herself to hide. From us? Or was she expecting her lord husband? The thought that Ramsay might be coming made him want to scream. "My lady." Theon could not bring himself to call her Arya and dare not call her Jeyne. "No need to hide. These are friends."[..]
Reek might have done it. Would have done it, in hopes it might please Lord Ramsay. These whores meant to steal Ramsay's bride; Reek could not allow that. But the old gods had known him, had called him Theon. Ironborn, I was ironborn, Balon Greyjoy's son and rightful heir to Pyke. The stumps of his fingers itched and twitched, but he kept his dagger in its sheath.

Theon I Adwd

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selkiewife

Theon Month Day 2: Personality Traits

“False is all you were”

~ A Dance with Dragons

You would think that this would not be a difficult prompt, particularly for a huge Theon fan. And yet, because Theon spends so much of his arc in a state of captivity, it becomes very hard to tease apart what is truly his core personality and what are the traits that make up the false, arrogant persona he has built up over the years in order to survive and overcompensate for his deep feelings of insecurity and lack of agency. And that’s not even getting into what he goes through when he is Ramsay’s prisoner and what may happen in the aftermath of that. I will be talking more about this for either for the identity, strengths and flaws, and evolution as a character prompts, but for now, I want to focus on underrated aspects of Theon’s personality that seem to be consistent across his entire arc.

Theon is protective

He holds Robb back from attacking Joffrey:

Joffrey shrugged. “Come and see me when you’re older, Stark. If you’re not too old.” There was laughter from the Lannister men. Robb’s curses rang through the yard. Arya covered her mouth in shock. Theon Greyjoy seized Robb’s arm to keep him away from the prince. Ser Rodrik tugged at his whiskers in dismay. Joffrey feigned a yawn and turned to his younger brother. “Come, Tommen,” he said. “The hour of play is done. Leave the children to their frolics.” That brought more laughter from the Lannisters, more curses from Robb. Ser Rodrik’s face was beet-red with fury under the white of his whiskers. Theon kept Robb locked in an iron grip until the princes and their party were safely away.
~ A Game of Thrones, Arya I

He saves Bran: 

The bald man took hold of his hair with his free hand and twisted it cruelly, till Bran sobbed in pain. “You shut your mouth, cripple, you hear me?” He twisted harder. “You hear me?” A low thrum came from the woods behind them. Stiv gave a choked gasp as a half foot of razor-tipped broadhead suddenly exploded out of his chest… As the maester knelt to examine the wound, Bran turned his head. Theon Greyjoy stood beside a sentinel tree, his bow in hand. He was smiling. Ever smiling. A half-dozen arrows were thrust into the soft ground at his feet, but it had taken only one. 
~ A Game of Thrones, Bran V 

He consistently tries to protect Jeyne and is very gentle with her when the Spearwives are not:

Willow scowled. “Someone stop her crying. That guard was mute, not deaf. They’re going to hear.”
“Get her up, turncloak.” Holly had her knife in hand. “Get her up or I will. We have to go. Get the little cunt up on her feet and shake some courage into her.”
he knelt beside her, pulled down the furs, touched her cheek. “You know me. I’m Theon, you remember. I know you too. I know your name.”
“My name?” She shook her head. “My name … it’s …”
He put a finger to her lips. “We can talk about that later. You need to be quiet now. Come with us. With me. We will take you away from here. Away from him.”
Her eyes widened. “Please,” she whispered. “Oh, please.” Theon slipped his hand through hers. The stumps of his lost fingers tingled as he drew the girl to her feet. 
“Stay close to me,” Jeyne said. “Don’t leave me.”
“I will be right beside you,” Theon promised.
~ A Dance with Dragons, Theon I

He is also the only one who is protective of Jeyne and treats her with care for Jeyne’s sake, not because she is a political pawn or Arya Stark. And though it takes his entire journey in A Dance with Dragons to rescue her, he is consistently protective of her throughout. Even when his trauma and memories of Kyra have convinced him that there is no possibility of escape, he still tries to mitigate the danger of her situation and her pain. He advises her to pretend to be Arya and even goes so far as to fantasize about killing her quickly before Ramsay can hurt her- which is surely extreme- but it highlights how horrific Ramsay’s torture is and shows how Theon is trying to shield her from pain.

Theon can find humor in the darkest of situations

As a Hostage of House Stark:

He smiled a lot, as if the world were a secret joke that only he was clever enough to understand. 
~ A Game of Thrones, Bran V
She studied Theon Greyjoy’s sly smile, wondering what it meant. That young man had a way of looking as though he knew some secret jest that only he was privy to; Catelyn had never liked it.
~ A Clash of Kings, Catelyn I
He had only the vaguest memory of Theon Greyjoy from his time with the Starks. A callow youth, always smiling, skilled with a bow; it was hard to imagine him as Lord of Winterfell
~ A Clash of Kings, Tyrion XI
Once, a boy called Theon Greyjoy had enjoyed tweaking Bolton as they sat at council with Robb Stark, mocking his soft voice and making japes about leeches. He must have been mad. This is no man to jape with. You had only to look at Bolton to know that he had more cruelty in his pinky toe than all the Freys combined.
~ A Dance with Dragons, Reek II

As Ramsay’s prisoner:

First thing I’ll need to do when I get back is count up my new sons. Might be I’ll even name one after you, m'lord.“ Aye, name him Reek, he thought, and when he’s bad you can cut his toes off and give him rats to eat. (Reek II)
Theon shivered. Baratheon or Bolton, it made no matter to him. Stannis had made common cause with Jon Snow at the Wall, and Jon would take his head off in a heartbeat. Plucked from the clutches of one bastard to die at the hands of another, what a jape. Theon would have laughed aloud if he’d remembered how. (A Ghost in Winterfell)
“The storm will end today,” one of the surviving stable boys was insisting loudly. “Why, it isn’t even winter.” Theon would have laughed if he had dared. He remembered tales Old Nan had told them of storms that raged for forty days and forty nights, for a year, for ten years … storms that buried castles and cities and whole kingdoms under a hundred feet of snow. (Theon I)
~ A Dance with DragonsTheon I

As Stannis’ Prisoner: 

“Tell me, then. Where are these two trained to fly?” Maester Tybald did not answer.  Theon Greyjoy kicked his feet feebly, and laughed under his breath. Caught!
“Tell me, Theon, how many men did Mors Umber have with him at Winterfell?”
“None. No men.” He grinned at his own wit. “He had boys. I saw them.” Aside from a handful of half-crippled sergeants, the warriors that Crowfood had brought down from Last Hearth were hardly old enough to shave. “Their spears and axes were older than the hands that clutched them. It was Whoresbane Umber who had the men, inside the castle. I saw them too. Old men, every one.” Theon tittered. “Mors took the green boys and Hother took the greybeards. All the real men went with the Greatjon and died at the Red Wedding. Is that what you wanted to know, Your Grace?”
~The Winds of Winter, Theon sample chapter

He has been hanging in chains for hours, yet he is still cracking jokes at Stannis’ expense and enjoying his own wit.

Theon is Hopeful

Theon is manages to cling to hope throughout his arc. Sometimes the hope is overblown- as in his chapters where he returns to Pyke. But even as his situation becomes increasingly dire, he still manages to hope.

It is my comet, Theon told himself, sliding a hand into his fur-lined cloak to touch the oilskin pouch snug in its pocket. Inside was the letter Robb Stark had given him, paper as good as a crown.
~ A Clash of Kings, Theon I
If I die, I die friendless and abandoned. What choice did that leave him, but to live?
- A Clash of Kings, Theon VI
A brother of the Night’s Watch. It meant no crown, no sons, no wife … but it meant life, and life with honor. Ned Stark’s own brother had chosen the Watch, and Jon Snow as well. I have black garb aplenty, once I tear the krakens off. Even my horse is black. I could rise high in the Watch—chief of rangers, likely even Lord Commander. Let Asha keep the bloody islands, they’re as dreary as she is. If I served at Eastwatch, I could command my own ship, and there’s fine hunting beyond the Wall. As for women, what wildling woman wouldn’t want a prince in her bed? A slow smile crept across his face. A black cloak can’t be turned. I’d be as good as any man . .
~ A Clash of Kings, Theon VI
Theon wondered if he might be allowed to fight. Then at least he might die a man’s death, sword in hand. That was a gift Ramsay would never give him, but Lord Roose might. If I beg him. I did all he asked of me, I played my part, I gave the girl away. Death was the sweetest deliverance he could hope for.
~ A Dance with Dragons, A Ghost in Winterfell
He fell to his knees. “A sword, that’s all I ask. Let me die as Theon, not as Reek." 
~ A Dance with Dragons, A Ghost in Winterfell 
Shouts rang out from their left. Jeyne Poole was staring down at Holly as the snowy blanket over her turned from white to red. On the inner wall the crossbowman would be reloading, Theon knew. He started right, but there were men coming from that direction too, racing toward them with swords in hand. Far off to the north he heard a warhorn sound. Stannis, he thought wildly. Stannis is our only hope, if we can reach him. The wind was howling, and he and the girl were trapped. 
~ A Dance with Dragons, Theon I 
We are all dead, Theon thought. I told them this was folly, but none of them would listen. Abel had doomed them. All singers were half-mad. In songs, the hero always saved the maiden from the monster’s castle, but life was not a song, no more than Jeyne was Arya Stark. Her eyes are the wrong color. And there are no heroes here, only whores. Even so, he knelt beside her, pulled down the furs, touched her cheek. 
~ A Dance with Dragons, Theon I

Even when the situation is completely hopeless, Theon manages to find a shred of hope- even if it is only hoping for a dignified death. I also find it very touching that even though he says over and over that they cannot escape from Ramsay and that Abel’s plan is madness, he undercuts it with the “Even so,” as he kneels beside Jeyne and helps her in the hope that they can escape.

I think that these three traits have helped him to survive and are the key to his resilience. He has undoubtably attempted to suppress the protector aspect of his personality, especially during his A Clash of Kings arc. And Ramsay attempted to rob him of his hope and his humor- “Ramsay hated my smiles, so he took a hammer to my teeth,” (A Dance with Dragons, The Turncloak.) Yet, even the inhuman abuse he endured couldn’t completely extinguish these crucial aspects of his personality.

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Bastard, was the only word written outside the scroll. No Lord Snow or Jon Snow or Lord Commander. Simply Bastard. And the letter was sealed with a smear of hard pink wax. “You were right to come at once,” Jon said. You were right to be afraid. He cracked the seal, flattened the parchment, and read.

Your false king is dead, bastard. He and all his host were smashed in seven days of battle. I have his magic sword. Tell his red whore.

Your false king’s friends are dead. Their heads upon the walls of Winterfell. Come see them, bastard. Your false king lied, and so did you. You told the world you burned the King-Beyond-the-Wall. Instead you sent him to Winterfell to steal my bride from me.

I will have my bride back. If you want Mance Rayder back, come and get him. I have him in a cage for all the north to see, proof of your lies. The cage is cold, but I have made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell.

I want my bride back. I want the false king’s queen. I want his daughter and his red witch. I want his wildling princess. I want his little prince, the wildling babe. And I want my Reek. Send them to me, bastard, and I will not trouble you or your black crows. Keep them from me, and I will cut out your bastard’s heart and eat it.

It was signed,

Ramsay Bolton,

Trueborn Lord of Winterfell. ― Jon XIII, A Dance with Dragons.

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jackoshadows

Looks like the Lannisters are more of romantic than the bastards of the North:

When Ser Ilyn presented Pia with his head, she had smiled through her ruined teeth.“- Jaime, AFfC
"Ser Harwyn says those tales are lies.” Lady Amerei wound a braid around her finger. “He has promised me Lord Beric’s head. He’s very gallant.” She was blushing beneath her tears. Jaime thought back on the head he’d given to Pia. He could almost hear his little brother chuckle. Whatever became of giving women flowers? Tyrion might have asked.- Jaime, AFfC

(So when is Brienne getting some flowers?)

Meanwhile:

“I am sorry that our good friend Stannis has not seen fit to join us yet,” he went on, to a ripple of laughter, “as I know Ramsay had hoped to present his head to Lady Arya as a wedding gift.” - The Prince of Winterfell, ADwD
Cregan shook his head. Chunks of ice had formed about the tangles in his hair, and clicked together softly when he moved. “Never,” he said. “Never, never, never.” I should make his head a wedding gift for Lady Alys and her Magnar, Jon thought, but dare not take the risk. The Night’s Watch took no part in the quarrels of the realm; some would say he had already given Stannis too much help. Behead this fool, and they will claim I am killing northmen to give their lands to wildlings - Jon, ADwD

Interesting as well, that Alys Karstark was initially assumed to be Arya fleeing her marriage and Jon compares her to Arya for her bravery. And wants to make a wedding gift of a head to Alys. And we have Ramsay wanting to make a wedding gift of Stannis’ head to Lady ‘Arya’.

There’s also this:

Dany was dubious. If this Tyroshi had come to spy, this declaration might be no more than a desperate plot to save his head. “What do Prendahl na Ghezn and Sallor say of this?”
“Little.” Daario upended the sack, and the heads of Sallor the Bald and Prendahl na Ghezn spilled out upon her carpets. “My gifts to the dragon queen.”- Daenerys, AsoS

Not exactly a wedding gift, but interesting in terms of it’s her future lover gifting her the heads. Though, Daario gives her flowers as well. A man who covers all bases 😃

On the road from Yunkai, Daario had brought her a flower or a sprig of some plant every evening when he made his report … to help her learn the land, he said. Waspwillow, dusky roses, wild mint, lady’s lace, daggerleaf, broom, prickly ben, harpy’s gold  - Daenerys, ASoS

I can see why she likes him.

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