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Winter Is Coming with Fire and Blood

@aerltarg / aerltarg.tumblr.com

dany stan first, human being second. also rhaelya and jonerys trash, targ slut, stark apologist, reblogging whore. asoiaf sideblog. everything is queued. welcome.
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artist-ellen

Book 1, the Targaryen / Dothraki alliance

Much like the Stark family portrait there's this sad nostalgia felt when looking back at all these doomed characters. I mean I was cheering when a certain brother died but still, the road ahead of them is dangerous.

I am the artist! Do not post without permission & credit! Thank you! Come visit me over on: instagram, tiktok or check out my first coloring book, available now \ („• ֊ •„) /

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artist-ellen

Khal Drogo

I’m not good at drawing many things, and usually buff guys go in the “needs improvement” category so I’m a little bit proud of how not-weird this turned out. Drogo is sort of an in between of his show and movie counterparts. Who wouldn’t add Momoa if given the opportunity. Colors and cuts of leather and horse hair based on the other Dothraki characters I’ve previously designed. Also, side note, I want to do HoD sooner rather than later so I’m not doing nearly as many dude ASOIAf as I did the ladies. I’ve got a list of the important bits and I have no current plan for expanding it.

I am the artist! Do not post without permission & credit! Thank you! Come visit me over on: instagram, tiktok or check out my coloring book \ („• ֊ •„) /

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“You see how long it is?” Viserys said. “When Dothraki are defeated in combat, they cut off their braids in disgrace, so the world will know their shame. Khal Drogo has never lost a fight. He is Aegon the Dragonlord come again, and you will be his queen.” (AGOT Dany I) 

I love that GRRM established that Dany’s arc will be one of gendered subversion, whereby she is the subversion––or reversal–-of the longstanding fantasy trope of “the prophecied king/male hero, prodigal son come home,” so early on in her arc. The very first chapter! Viserys calls Khal Drogo “Aegon come again” in 1996. In 2011, Tyrion Lannister calls Dany “Aegon the Conqueror with teats” and Illyrio Mopatis and Kevan Lannister both say of Dany that “the blood of Aegon flows in her veins.” Just as Dany, rather than Rhaego, is the True Stallion who Mounts the World, Dany, rather than Drogo, is Aegon the Conqueror reborn. 

I also love the linguistic framing of “Aegon the Dragonlord come again” because in ACOK Dany I, Aggo looks at Drogon and says “Khaleesi, there sits Balerion, come again.” Balerion, aka Aegon I’s mount. Drogon, aka Dany’s mount. 

You know how GRRM calls himself a gardener style author? Here are the seeds, planted as early as 1996. 

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Why the Peace in Meereen is false: Parallels between Dany’s two marriages

Both of Dany’s marriages occur in a context that she clearly does not want. However, there are deeper parallels at play between the marriages, ones that crucially reveal that the peace in Meereen is false. 

When Dany is introduced to Drogo & Hizdahr, both of them are described as incredibly wealthy, well-connected, and powerful men, who stand out amongst the Dothraki & Meereenese.

Drogo is so rich that even his slaves wear golden collars. A hundred thousand men ride in his khalasar, and his palace in Vaes Dothrak has two hundred rooms and doors of solid silver.” There was more like that, so much more, what a handsome man the khal was, so tall and fierce, fearless in battle, the best rider ever to mount a horse, a demon archer. (AGOT Dany I) 
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Dany nodded, and Hizdahr strode forth; a tall man, very slender, with flawless amber skin. He bowed on the same spot where Stalwart Shield had lain in death not long before. I need this man, Dany reminded herself. Hizdahr was a wealthy merchant with many friends in Meereen, and more across the seas. He had visited Volantis, Lys, and Qarth, had kin in Tolos and Elyria, and was even said to wield some influence in New Ghis, where the Yunkai'i were trying to stir up enmity against Dany and her rule. And he was rich. Famously and fabulously rich … (ADWD Dany I) 

Both Drogo and Hizdahr are slavers and slaveowners. 

The palanquin slowed and stopped. The curtains were thrown back, and a slave offered a hand to help Daenerys out. His collar, she noted, was ordinary bronze. Her brother followed, one hand still clenched hard around his sword hilt. It took two strong men to get Magister Illyrio back on his feet. (AGOT Dany I) 
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And like to grow richer, if I grant his petition. When Dany had closed the city’s fighting pits, the value of pit shares had plummeted. Hizdahr zo Loraq had grabbed them up with both hands, and now owned most of the fighting pits in Meereen. (ADWD Dany I) 

The marriage to Drogo and Hizdahr is engineered by Illyrio Mopatis and Galazza Galare, the Green Grace, respectively. They are both individuals with poewr and authority, in Pentos and Meereen, and have their own motivations for arranging the wedding. 

“She has had her blood. She is old enough for the khal,” Illyrio told him, not for the first time. “Look at her. That silver-gold hair, those purple eyes … she is the blood of old Valyria, no doubt, no doubt … and highborn, daughter of the old king, sister to the new, she cannot fail to entrance our Drogo.” When he released her hand, Daenerys found herself trembling. (AGOT Dany I) 
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Dany pushed her food about her plate. “And who would the gods of Ghis have me take as my king and consort?” “Hizdahr zo Loraq,” Galazza Galare said firmly. Dany did not trouble to feign surprise. “Why Hizdahr? Skahaz is noble born as well.” Dany did not trouble to feign surprise. “Why Hizdahr? Skahaz is noble born as well.” “Skahaz is Kandaq, Hizdahr Loraq. Your Radiance will forgive me, but only one who is not herself Ghiscari would not understand the difference. Oft have I heard that yours is the blood of Aegon the Conqueror, Jaehaerys the Wise, and Daeron the Dragon. The noble Hizdahr is of the blood of Mazdhan the Magnificent, Hazrak the Handsome, and Zharaq the Liberator.” (ADWD Dany IV) 

Illyrio is scheming to install a Blackfyre pretender, Aegon VI Targaryen, to the Throne, while Galazza Galare is the Harpy who engineers the shadow war in Meereen to restore slavery to the city. 

“I admire your powers of persuasion,” Tyrion told Illyrio. “How did you convince the Golden Company to take up the cause of our sweet queen when they have spent so much of their history fighting against the Targaryens?” Illyrio brushed away the objection as if it were a fly. “Black or red, a dragon is still a dragon. When Maelys the Monstrous died upon the Stepstones, it was the end of the male line of House Blackfyre.” The cheesemonger smiled through his forked beard. “And Daenerys will give the exiles what Bittersteel and the Blackfyres never could. She will take them home.” (ADWD Tyrion II) 
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“It would be my pleasure,” said Dany, admiring the glimmer of the gold and the sheen of the green pearls on Cleon’s slippers while doing her best to ignore the pinching in her toes. Grazdan, she had been forewarned, was a cousin of the Green Grace, whose support she had found invaluable. The priestess was a voice for peace, acceptance, and obedience to lawful authority. I can give her cousin a respectful hearing, whatever he desires. (ADWD Dany I) (the reason I point out this quote is because Grazdan zo Galare, the Green Grace’s cousin, wants Daenerys to pay him because his former weaving women slaves, upon becoming freedwomen, opened their own prosperous weaving business. Daenerys refuses. Later, not so coincidentally, the Sons of the Harpy break into weaving women’s homes, gang rape them, and murder them, and before murdering them, break their loom.) 

Illyrio is a Magister of Pentos and Galazza Galare is “a voice for peace, acceptance, and obedience to lawful authority,” a woman with a lot of sway in the city. Not only are both of them highborn nobility and slaveowners, they are also behind the scenes of the politics of their regions. Dany’s death is also part of their plans: 

The fat man grew pensive. “Daenerys was half a child when she came to me, yet fairer even than my second wife, so lovely I was tempted to claim her for myself. Such a fearful, furtive thing, however, I knew I should get no joy from coupling with her. Instead I summoned a bedwarmer and fucked her vigorously until the madness passed. If truth be told, I did not think Daenerys would survive for long amongst the horselords.” (ADWD Tyrion II) 
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“In return he gave her peace. Do not cast it away, ser, I beg you. Peace is the pearl beyond price. Hizdahr is of Loraq. Never would he soil his hands with poison. He is innocent.” “How can you be certain?” Unless you know the poisoner. “The gods of Ghis have told me.“ (ADWD The Queen’s Hand) 

Illyrio did not anticipate that Dany would survive long with Drogo, so her death was calculated into his plans. Additionally, he and Varys are also responsible for ensuring that Robert Baratheon would hear of Dany’s pregnancy and send an assassin to her, so that her near death would compel Drogo to act and invade Westeros. Meanwhile, Galazza Galare arranges for Hizdahr’s confectioner to poison the locusts that he serves to Daenerys as a snack during the re-opening of Daznak’s Pit. In both cases, the plans fail. Not only does Dany survive, contrary to Illyrio’s prediction, Viserys dies, Drogo dies, and Dany becomes the Mother of Dragons. And Strong Belwas eats the locusts instead of Dany––though he is badly poisoned, he survives, and Dany tames Drogon in Daznak’s pit and flies away from Meereen. 

“Yes. And how was it you knew the wine was poisoned?” “I … I but suspected … the caravan brought a letter from Varys, he warned me there would be attempts. He wanted you watched, yes, but not harmed.” He went to his knees. “If I had not told them someone else would have. You know that.” (ASOS Dany VI) 
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Hizdahr’s confectioner. His name would mean nothing to you. The man was just a catspaw. The Sons of the Harpy took his daughter and swore she would be returned unharmed once the queen was dead. Belwas and the dragon saved Daenerys. No one saved the girl. She was returned to her father in the black of night, in nine pieces. One for every year she lived.” (ADWD The Queensguard) 

Illyrio/Varys and Galazza Galare use similar methods to induce these assassination attempts. Illyrio and Varys convince Jorah to report on Viserys and Daenerys and send word of their movements in return for granting him a pardon to let him go home. Galazza Galare has the confectioner’s daughter kidnapped to force him to poison the locusts; when he fails, the Sons of the Harpy kill her and butcher her into nine pieces, matching her age of nine years old, sending the pieces back to him. 

Both marriages are seen as necessary for a crucial political goal: 

“I do,” he said sharply. “We go home with an army, sweet sister. With Khal Drogo’s army, that is how we go home. And if you must wed him and bed him for that, you will.” (AGOT Dany I) 
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I want peace. I gave Hizdahr ninety days to end the killings. If he does, I will take him for a husband.” (ADWD Dany IV) 

Viserys sells Dany to Drogo to gain an army to invade Westeros. We know that Illyrio and Varys broker the marriage because they want Drogo’s army for Young Griff specifically. Notice the difference when Dany has actual power: she wants to marry Hizdahr to bring peace to her city. She describes her choice as “marriage or war,” clearly indicating that she’s not happy about this impending marriage. Yet men sell Dany to Drogo for the sake of war, while Dany forces herself to marry a man she does not love for the sake of a peace (a peace that is false, yes, but Dany’s intentions are compassionate). 

For both marriages, Dany is required to present herself for a humiliating, sexually degrading inspection: 

“She’s too skinny,” Viserys said. His hair, the same silver-blond as hers, had been pulled back tightly behind his head and fastened with a dragonbone brooch. It was a severe look that emphasized the hard, gaunt lines of his face. He rested his hand on the hilt of the sword that Illyrio had lent him, and said, “Are you sure that Khal Drogo likes his women this young?” (AGOT Dany I) 
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“Smile,” Viserys whispered nervously, his hand falling to the hilt of his sword. “And stand up straight. Let him see that you have breasts. Gods know, you have little enough as is.” (AGOT Dany I) 
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“But,” said Reznak mo Reznak, blinking, “but you must, Your Worship. Before a marriage it is traditional for the women of the man’s house to examine the bride’s womb and, ah … her female parts. To ascertain that they are well formed and, ah …” “… fertile,” finished Galazza Galare. “An ancient ritual, Your Radiance. Three Graces shall be present to witness the examination and say the proper prayers.” (ADWD Dany VI) 
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“The gods of Ghis would deem it no true union.” Galazza Galare’s face was hidden behind a veil of green silk. Only her eyes showed, green and wise and sad. “In the eyes of the city you would be the noble Hizdahr’s concubine, not his lawful wedded wife. Your children would be bastards. Your Worship must marry Hizdahr in the Temple of the Graces, with all the nobility of Meereen on hand to bear witness to your union.” (ADWD Dany VI) 

Viserys expects Dany to look good so that Drogo will desire her enough to purchase her. Signifying that Dany has some more power in her second marriage, she is able to reject Reznak’s proposal that she let the women of Hizdahr’s family inspect her “women’s parts” to ensure her fertility, and yet the very fact that such a tradition exists, coupled with Dany assenting to marrying Hizdahr under Meereenese rites, shows that she’s still being subjected to patriarchal trials of observation. Indeed, the focus shifts from one man, Drogo, finding her desirable and fertile, to an entire city finding her fertile. Even though Dany is the Queen Regnant of Meereen, the city will be judging her as whether or not she deserves to be Hizdahr’s wife, rather than the other way around. 

Both marriages are marked by enslavement, death, and violence: 

Dany looked away from the coupling, frightened when she realized what was happening, but a second warrior stepped forward, and a third, and soon there was no way to avert her eyes. Then two men seized the same woman. She heard a shout, saw a shove, and in the blink of an eye the arakhs were out, long razor-sharp blades, half sword and half scythe. A dance of death began as the warriors circled and slashed, leaping toward each other, whirling the blades around their heads, shrieking insults at each clash. No one made a move to interfere. (AGOT Dany II) 
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“They are permitting that, yes,” she had replied, “but their warships remain. They can close their fingers around our throat again whenever they wish. They have opened a slave market within sight of my walls!” (ADWD Dany VIII) 

Dothraki marriages are notorious for featuring displays of violence and fights ending in death. Of course there are slaves present at the wedding too. At Dany’s wedding to Hizdahr, she is forced to contend with the Yunkai’i keeping their warships outside city walls and openly engaging in re-enslavement as terms of the peace. We know from Tyrion’s chapters that the Yunkai’i slave overseers, who are indeed present outside of Meereen at that moment, are violent. For example, Nurse, Tyrion and Penny’s overseer, captures three slaves who attempt to flee, has them tied up and hung, and flings explosive rocks at their legs to make their legs get blasted off, killing them instantly. Hence the violence and enslavement going on at both weddings is an important parallel highlighting that Dany is powerless at her wedding to Hizdahr, even though she has more power than she did during her wedding to Drogo. 

And more specific to slavery, we see that Dany herself is enslaved by the marriage: 

“Now you look all a princess,” the girl said breathlessly when they were done. Dany glanced at her image in the silvered looking glass that Illyrio had so thoughtfully provided. A princess, she thought, but she remembered what the girl had said, how Khal Drogo was so rich even his slaves wore golden collars. She felt a sudden chill, and gooseflesh pimpled her bare arms. (AGOT Dany I) 
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“I shall treasure them always.” Dany had heard tales of such eggs, but she had never seen one, nor thought to see one. It was a truly magnificent gift, though she knew that Illyrio could afford to be lavish. He had collected a fortune in horses and slaves for his part in selling her to Khal Drogo. (AGOT Dany II) 
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When her feet were clean, Hizdahr dried them with a soft towel, laced her sandals on again, and helped her stand. Hand in hand, they followed the Green Grace inside the temple, where the air was thick with incense and the gods of Ghis stood cloaked in shadows in their alcoves. Four hours later, they emerged again as man and wife, bound together wrist and ankle with chains of yellow gold. (ADWD Dany VII) 

We know that Dany is literally enslaved by her marriage to Drogo because Illyrio collects a fortune for selling her and Viserys thinks he’s purchased Drogo’s army. Yet we see an eerie, glaring parallel between the two marriages that showcases that Dany’s marriage to Hizdahr does metaphorically enslave her. Dany wears a gold collar when she is presented to Drogo for the first time, and is chained by wrist and ankle to Hizdahr in chains of of yellow gold. The imagery could not be clearer. In both situations, Dany is forced to physically bear the emblems of enslavement: a collar and chains. Throughout ASOIAF, every slave we are introduced to is wearing either a collar or chains, which makes this imagery even harder hitting. And it’s not just that Dany is forced to marry a man she doesn’t love, and give up her sexual freedom as a result; it’s also that she is forced to agree to the terms of a peace that she hates, terms that harm her people and go against her goals of abolition. 

Naturally, then, Dany is miserable at both of her weddings: 

Dany had never felt so alone as she did seated in the midst of that vast horde. Her brother had told her to smile, and so she smiled until her face ached and the tears came unbidden to her eyes. She did her best to hide them, knowing how angry Viserys would be if he saw her crying, terrified of how Khal Drogo might react. (AGOT Dany II) 
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So she sat in her wedding silks, nursing a cup of honeyed wine, afraid to eat, talking silently to herself. I am blood of the dragon, she told herself. I am Daenerys Stormborn, Princess of Dragonstone, of the blood and seed of Aegon the Conqueror. (AGOT Dany II) 
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I hate this, thought Daenerys Targaryen. How did this happen, that I am drinking and smiling with men I’d sooner flay? (ADWD Dany VIII) 
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So Daenerys sat silent through the meal, wrapped in a vermilion tokar and black thoughts, speaking only when spoken to, brooding on the men and women being bought and sold outside her walls, even as they feasted here within the city. Let her noble husband make the speeches and laugh at the feeble Yunkish japes. That was a king’s right and a king’s duty. (ADWD Dany VIII) 

Dany is silent at both of her weddings––terrified at her first wedding, sullen at her second. And Dany feels extremely alone and out of place at both of her weddings as well. 

Hizdahr and Drogo do not ask for consent when they initiate sex with Dany. 

When she emerged from the lake, shivering and dripping, her handmaid Doreah hurried to her with a robe of painted sandsilk, but Khal Drogo waved her away. He was looking on her swollen breasts and the curve of her belly with approval, and Dany could see the shape of his manhood pressing through his horsehide trousers, below the heavy gold medallions of his belt. She went to him and helped him unlace. Then her huge khal took her by the hips and lifted her into the air, as he might lift a child. The bells in his hair rang softly. (AGOT Dany V) 
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The excitement of the day had inflamed her husband’s passions. No sooner had her handmaids retired for the night than he tore the robe from her and tumbled her backwards into bed. Dany slid her arms around him and let him have his way. Drunk as he was, she knew he would not be inside her long. (ADWD Dany VIII) 

We know that Dany was feeling suicidal at one point because of Drogo’s nightly rapes of her. I deliberately did not include that quote because I wanted to point out a more explicit parallel between how Drogo and Hizdahr treat Dany, in a sexual context, where Dany does not feel the same fear she did when she was initially married to Drogo. As Drogo’s bridal slave, Dany’s consent does not matter to him. The age difference between them (she’s thirteen and he’s over thirty when they marry) also establishes a power differential. Yet even after Dany becomes accustomed to her marriage and grows to “love” Drogo, we see that Drogo does not ask for consent. He communicates his “approval,” as in his arousal, silently, and Dany goes to him and performs a “marital duty.” In the scene I included, Dany’s handmaids are only allowed to clothe her again after Drogo takes his pleasure. Does Dany consent to having sex in front of people? Does Dany consent to the act itself? Drogo will assume that she does because “she went to him and helped him unlace,” but the mere fact that he expected sex in a public space, and did not have to verbally communicate his intent, showcases that he expects Dany to “do her wifely duty,” regardless of what Dany actually wants. It’s also not a coincidence that GRRM writes that the way Drogo holds her is as if “he might lift a child.” As grotesque as the description is, it’s a stark reminder of the power difference between them. 

Just as Drogo initiates sex with Dany because of the excitement of her eating the stallion’s heart and their son being prophecied as the Stallion who Mounts the World, so too does Hizdahr initiate sex with Dany because of “the excitement of the day.” Hizdahr does not pay attention to Dany’s pleasure. Nor does he await her consent––he indicates his desire by tearing her clothes off and pushing her backward into bed. Dany “let[s] him have his way” which is clearly a resignation to her “marital duty.” When Dany has sex with Drogo and Hizdahr, there is no indication of her express consent or an implicit, enthusiastic consent. Nor is there any attention to her pleasure, her desire, and her initiative. Contrast how different her sex with Daario is: 

That night Daario had her every way a man can have a woman, and she gave herself to him willingly. The last time, as the sun was coming up, she used her mouth to make him hard again, as Doreah had taught her long ago, then rode him so wildly that his wound began to bleed again, and for one sweet heartbeat she could not tell whether he was inside of her, or her inside of him. (ADWD Dany VII) 

Dany initiates sex with Daario out of personal desire. Each time they have sex, we get descriptions of Dany’s actual pleasure and enjoyment. We see her consent “willingly.” Notice that words like “willing” and “gave herself to him” and “sweet heartbeat” and other such descriptions are generally missing from her sexual interactions with Drogo and Hizdahr. There is a world of difference in the sex she has with them versus with Daario, and this is even keeping in mind that Dany believes she loves Drogo. Thus, both Drogo and Hizdahr use Dany for their sexual pleasure without obtaining her consent, which goes to the broader point that Dany’s consent (or lack of it) don’t matter to them. 

It is probably fitting, then, that both marriages end in a fit of betrayal and violence. Mirri betrays Dany by killing Rhaego and engineering a situation where Dany will permit her to use blood magic, while the Green Grace tries to have Dany assassinated, a plot that implodes when Drogon arrives in Daznak’s Pit: 

Inside the tent Dany found a cushion, soft silk stuffed with feathers. She clutched it to her breasts as she walked back out to Drogo, to her sun-and-stars. If I look back I am lost. It hurt even to walk, and she wanted to sleep, to sleep and not to dream. She knelt, kissed Drogo on the lips, and pressed the cushion down across his face. (AGOT Dany IX) 
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She wondered if Hizdahr was still king. His crown had come from her, could he hold it in her absence? He wanted Drogon dead. I heard him. “Kill it,” he screamed, “kill the beast,” and the look upon his face was lustful. And Strong Belwas had been on his knees, heaving and shuddering. Poison. It had to be poison. The honeyed locusts. Hizdahr urged them on me, but Belwas ate them all. She had made Hizdahr her king, taken him into her bed, opened the fighting pits for him, he had no reason to want her dead. Yet who else could it have been? Reznak, her perfumed seneschal? The Yunkai’i? The Sons of the Harpy? (ADWD Dany X) 

The reason the Khalasar abandons Dany and the most vulnerable members of Drogo’s Khalasar is because Mirri uses blood magic to manipulate the situation and essentially kill Drogo off (though Drogo does also ignore her instructions). The reason Dany is wandering the Dothraki Sea is because the slavers conspire against her throughout her stint in Meereen, prompting her to chain her dragons, eventually resulting in Drogon landing in the pit after being attracted by the scent of blood and carnage. Betrayal catalyzes both fiery and explosive events that completely change the course of Dany’s life. Dany also goes against everyone’s expectations and pivots in a way that the people around her don’t expect: she hatches the dragons at the end of AGOT and she re-embraces fire and blood at the end of ADWD, rejecting the false slaver peace. Dany’s encounter with Drogo starts with the Dothraki and Dany’s marriage to Hizdahr ends with the Dothraki, as Khal Jhaqo and his Khalasar find her standing next to Drogon at the end of ADWD. Thus, the end of both marriages is marked by Dany’s rebirth: 

Viserys was Mad Aerys’s son, just so. Daenerys … Daenerys is quite different.“ He popped a roasted lark into his mouth and crunched it noisily, bones and all. ”The frightened child who sheltered in my manse died on the Dothraki sea, and was reborn in blood and fire. This dragon queen who wears her name is a true Targaryen.” (ADWD Tyrion II) 
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No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words. “Fire and Blood,” Daenerys told the swaying grass. (ADWD Dany X) 

In her first rebirth, Dany dies on the “Dothraki sea” and is “reborn in blood and fire.” She becomes the Mother of Dragons, the “dragon queen,” the “true Targaryen”. In her second rebirth, Dany metaphysically dies and is reborn on the Dothraki Sea yet again, and reclaims “fire and blood,” her house’s words. She “remembers [who she is.]” She will become the Stallion who Mounts the World and unite the Dothraki into one horde after her second rebirth. 

Rebirth, death, and life are intertwined in ASOIAF. The cycle of life is indeed an important theme in the series. Thus at the end of both of her marriages, Dany is reborn while she miscarries her children: 

She could feel the heat inside her, a terrible burning in her womb. Her son was tall and proud, with Drogo’s copper skin and her own silver-gold hair, violet eyes shaped like almonds. And he smiled for her and began to lift his hand toward hers, but when he opened his mouth the fire poured out. (AGOT Dany IX) 
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As she splashed her face, she saw fresh blood on her thighs. The ragged hem of her undertunic was stained with it. The sight of so much red frightened her. Moon blood, it’s only my moon blood, but she did not remember ever having such a heavy flow. Could it be the water? If it was the water, she was doomed. She had to drink or die of thirst. (ADWD Dany X) 

The important thing to note with both miscarriages is that Dany hatches her dragons the first time and Dany is with Drogon the second time. The development from the first to the second miscarriage showcases that Dany is no longer alone. 

We can also note that both Drogon and Hizdahr show up in Dany’s prophecies given to her by the House of the Undying: 

[T]hree mounts must you ride … one to bed and one to dread and one to love … The voices were growing louder, she realized, and it seemed her heart was slowing, and even her breath… . three treasons will you know … once for blood and once for gold and once for love … “I don’t …” Her voice was no more than a whisper, almost as faint as theirs. What was happening to her? “I don’t understand,” she said, more loudly. Why was it so hard to talk here? “Help me. Show me.” … help her … the whispers mocked… . show her … Then phantoms shivered through the murk, images in indigo. Viserys screamed as the molten gold ran down his cheeks and filled his mouth. A tall lord with copper skin and silver-gold hair stood beneath the banner of a fiery stallion, a burning city behind him. Rubies flew like drops of blood from the chest of a dying prince, and he sank to his knees in the water and with his last breath murmured a woman’s name… . mother of dragons, daughter of death … Glowing like sunset, a red sword was raised in the hand of a blue-eyed king who cast no shadow. A cloth dragon swayed on poles amidst a cheering crowd. From a smoking tower, a great stone beast took wing, breathing shadow fire… . mother of dragons, slayer of lies … Her silver was trotting through the grass, to a darkling stream beneath a sea of stars. A corpse stood at the prow of a ship, eyes bright in his dead face, grey lips smiling sadly. A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness… . mother of dragons, bride of fire … (ACOK Dany IV) 

Drogo appears in Dany’s mount to bed prophecy and her Bride of Fire prophecy. Hizdahr also appears in Dany’s Bride of Fire prophecy. Notice that her Bride of Fire prophecy is specifically about Dany’s marriages. 

The point of establishing these parallels between Dany’s marriages to Drogo and Hizdahr is to highlight two things: that she did not have real power in those marriages, and that no peace would ever be real while she’s married to them. Both marriages end with immense violence and upheaval. Both marriages force Dany into a moral quagmire and render her physically and geographically isolated by the end. Both marriages end with a miscarriage. Both marriages enslave Dany, sexually, spiritually, and politically. If the peace was real, then why would the main thing that secures the peace, her marriage to Hizdahr, essentially involve the same elements and end the same way as her marriage to Drogo? Why would it be so harmful for Dany and her people? For example, people often point out that Mirri hated Drogo, and rightfully so, with the consequence being that Mirri creates a situation that leads to Drogo’s death. Why do the same people who point this out ignore that Dany’s people hate Hizdahr and do not want her to marry Hizdahr? 

That made Daenerys laugh, coming from a girl so small. She relied so much on the little scribe that she oft forgot that Missandei had only turned eleven. They shared the food together on her terrace. As Dany nibbled on an olive, the Naathi girl gazed at her with eyes like molten gold and said, “It is not too late to tell them that you have decided not to wed.” It is, though, the queen thought, sadly. “Hizdahr’s blood is ancient and noble. Our joining will join my freedmen to his people. When we become as one, so will our city.” “Your Grace does not love the noble Hizdahr. This one thinks you would sooner have another for your husband.” (ADWD Dany VII) 
-
She had taken a Meereenese slaver as her king, as wealthy as he was noble, and when the peace was signed and sealed the fighting pits of Meereen would open once again. Other slaves insisted that the guards were lying, that Daenerys Targaryen would never make peace with slavers. Mhysa, they called her. Someone told him that meant Mother. Soon the silver queen would come forth from her city, smash the Yunkai'i, and break their chains, they whispered to one another. (ADWD Tyrion X) 
-
“Is it true?” a freedwoman shouted. “Is our mother dead?” “No, no, no,” Reznak screeched. “Queen Daenerys will return to Meereen in her own time in all her might and majesty. Until such time, His Worship King Hizdahr shall—” “He is no king of mine,” a freedman yelled. (ADWD The Discarded Knight) 

Missandei does not want Dany to marry Hizdahr and notices that she doesn’t love her (the fact that Missandei, at the tender age of ten, can observe that speaks to her love for Dany, her suspicion of Hizdahr, and her perception and intelligence all at once). The slaves Tyrion meet refuse to believe that Dany would ever marry a slaver, make peace with slavers, or re-open the fighting pits. The freedmen are worried that Dany is dead after she flys off on Drogon’s back and refuse to accept Hizdahr as their king. 

If we can accept that Drogo is a bad person in large part through  how someone other than Dany views him, then we should be able to accept that Hizdahr is a bad person through how the slaves view him, especially given that we get their opinions on Hizdahr through Tyrion and Barristan’s viewpoints (and thus you can’t accuse their opinions of being “tainted” by Dany’s allegedly “biased” POV). Drogo enslaves Mirri and destroys her village. Hizdahr purchases all the shares of Daznak’s Pit after Dany closes the pit and forces slaves to fight in the pit, on top of continuing to have sex with bedslaves and brokering a peace that allows for the reinstatement of slavery outside of Meereen. They are BOTH slavers. They are BOTH rapists. If you are against Drogo, then you should be against Hizdahr. 

GRRM typically portrays weddings as destructive affairs because he is trying to make a point about corruption, patriarchy, and feudalism. This is especially evident with both of Dany’s marriages. The peace is not real because the marriage it’s built upon is harmful for both Dany and her people. 

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Sry ik it bothers u to talk about Dany/Drogo. Trust me, me too. But i have a question anywayb "My sun and my star made a queen of me, he had been a different man, it might have been much otherwise" I don't get that line at all. Dany, even tho she suffers under Stockholm, know exactly that khalessi is a empty title and 'diffrent man' ?! Drogo was (from a character) nothing other than a slaver and mostly a rapist. How could he be any worser? If he had beaten her? Or let his Kos rape her too?!

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Yes, that’s exactly what she means. 

As we see from Dany VIII AGOT, the only thing that gave Daenerys a nominal sense of power is that she was Drogo’s Khaleesi. Drogo is the one who could protect her from Viserys. Drogo is the one who could enable her to get away with claiming the Lhazareen women under her protection. Drogo is the one she always used to get the male leadership to listen to her. Once his protection was gone, it all fell apart. 

So if Drogo had been a sadistic person, Dany’s life would’ve been even worse. That he deigned not to “share” her with his Kos aka allow his men to gang rape her is acknowledged by Dany herself: 

If the khal died at the hands of some enemy, they lived only long enough to avenge him, and then followed him joyfully into the grave. In some khalasars, Jhiqui said, the bloodriders shared the khal's wine, his tent, and even his wives, though never his horses. A man's mount was his own. Daenerys was glad that Khal Drogo did not hold to those ancient ways. She should not have liked being shared. And while old Cohollo treated her kindly enough, the others frightened her; Haggo, huge and silent, often glowered as if he had forgotten who she was, and Qotho had cruel eyes and quick hands that liked to hurt. He left bruises on Doreah's soft white skin whenever he touched her, and sometimes made Irri sob in the night. Even his horses seemed to fear him. (Daenerys IV, AGOT) 

The threat of gang rape is something Dany is all too aware of, which is why she has to be able to carefully nagivate Drogo’s moods, lest he suddenly allowed his men to rape her (which he could’ve easily done, because as we see here, he has no problem allowing Ko Qotho to rape his Khaleesi’s handmaidens, Irri and Doreah, and Dany wouldn’t have been able to stop him). This quote is also pretty sad because while Qotho is the first to turn on Dany and Haggo obviously does as well, it’s actually Cohollo, whom she considered kind, that actually came close to killing her. 

Remember that Daenerys has a biased viewpoint like most of the other characters, and a normal level of internalized misogyny that is about the same as Sansa or Catelyn’s levels of internalized misogyny. All of these women have been raised to believe that they were born to do their womanly duty (a theme especially prevalent in Catelyn’s POV chapters). Daenerys was raised to believe that Viserys is her True King, that she may have married him if the circumstances were different, and that she has to do everything she says. This mentality only transforms from “my duty is to obey Viserys” to “my duty is to obey Drogo” for the first half of her AGOT arc (and that’s why the evolution in Dany’s mentality is so important, that she slowly comes to realize her own worth and her own ability to gain power). So Daenerys is not objectively aware that it’s fucked up that her slaveowning warlord husband, who also owned HER, was “decent” enough to at least not allow his men to gang rape her and “decent” enough to not sadistically brutalize her. 

The bar for men in the world of ice and fire is very, very low. It’s not even just with Dany either. With Sansa, for example, Sandor can be extremely rough and abrasive with her, and during the Battle of the Blackwater he 1) hid in her room (which is creepy! no matter how gallant people think he is, it’s still creepy and he terrified her because she was trying to seek refuge), and 2) he held a knife against her throat and demanded her to sing to him. Yet a man like Sandor who is openly violent toward her is still 500,000x more tender and gentle and sincere with Sansa because the other men in her life are people like Joffrey Baratheon and Petyr Baelish. So yeah, the bar in ASOIAF for male decency is incredibly low, unfortunately, and what’s worse is that the female characters, especially the youngest ones like Dany and Sansa, are socialized to believe that the bare minimum of decency is some grand form of tenderness and respect. Of course as their attitudes and personalities evolve, they themselves come to realize that the way men treat them is trash. 

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Also, this line shows how Dany has come to understand that slavery is never ok, even if you have a "nice master":

"Better to come a beggar than a slaver," Arstan said.
"There speaks one who has been neither." Dany's nostrils flared. "Do you know what it is like to be sold, squire? I do. My brother sold me to Khal Drogo for the promise of a golden crown. Well, Drogo crowned him in gold, though not as he had wished, and I . . . my sun-and-stars made a queen of me, but if he had been a different man, it might have been much otherwise. Do you think I have forgotten how it felt to be afraid?" - Daenerys II ASOS

Here, Dany talks about how Drogo was a "nice master" (or at least, she considered that he was good to her) to her. However, that doesn't change the fact that she was owned, that she was at his mercy, that she was a slave. She recognizes that just because Drogo was "nice" to her ("my sun-and-stars made a queen of me"), he could have been worse, he could do anything he wanted to her ("but if he had been a different man, it might have been much otherwise"). And she links this to the fear she felt ("do you think I have forgotten how it felt to be afraid?"). This is a line in which Dany recognizes that slavery is never ok, that it doesn't matter if some masters are "nice", because slavery is a systemic problem, and that even if some masters are nice, they still have the power to do whatever they want to the people they own. So this line is both about Dany thinking about the fear she had of how her situation could have been worse, and about showing how Dany has matured in her understanding os slavery and oppression, of how it's not enough to have a "nice master", how slavery is a system that needs to be torn down.

(Also, I find it interesting that some people in the fandom interpret this moment as Dany being ok with buying slaves. It's exactly the opposite of Dany being ok with buying slaves)

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asoiaf character parallels: khal drogo and jon snow

Dany thought she glimpsed a fierce pride in his dark, almond-shaped eyes, but she could not be sure. The khal’s face did not often betray the thoughts within
— Daenerys V, AGOT
Tyrion notes that Jon has the traditional Stark face in everything but name long, solemn and guarded a face that gives nothing away
— Tyrion II, AGOT
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Drogo’s influence on Daenerys

For Daenerys Targaryen Appreciation Month 2021

Day 29: Men in Dany’s life

Despite the fear and suffering Dany’s forced marriage to Drogo caused her, her time with him also shaped her in crucial ways.

1) Dany’s time married to Drogo marked her very first contact with war, when she saw first hand what Drogo did to the Lhazareen:

Dothraki hooves had torn the earth and trampled the rye and lentils into the ground, while arakhs and arrows had sown a terrible new crop and watered it with blood. Dying horses lifted their heads and screamed at her as she rode past. Wounded men moaned and prayed. Jaqqa rhan moved among them, the mercy men with their heavy axes, taking a harvest of heads from the dead and dying alike. After them would scurry a flock of small girls, pulling arrows from the corpses to fill their baskets. Last of all the dogs would come sniffing, lean and hungry, the feral pack that was never far behind the khalasar.
The sheep had been dead longest. There seemed to be thousands of them, black with flies, arrow shafts bristling from each carcass. Khal Ogo’s riders had done that, Dany knew; no man of Drogo’s khalasar would be such a fool as to waste his arrows on sheep when there were shepherds yet to kill.
The town was afire, black plumes of smoke roiling and tumbling as they rose into a hard blue sky. Beneath broken walls of dried mud, riders galloped back and forth, swinging their long whips as they herded the survivors from the smoking rubble. The women and children of Ogo’s khalasar walked with a sullen pride, even in defeat and bondage; they were slaves now, but they seemed not to fear it. It was different with the townsfolk. Dany pitied them; she remembered what terror felt like. Mothers stumbled along with blank, dead faces, pulling sobbing children by the hand. There were only a few men among them, cripples and cowards and grandfathers.
[…]
Dany saw one boy bolt and run for the river. A rider cut him off and turned him, and the others boxed him in, cracking their whips in his face, running him this way and that. One galloped behind him, lashing him across the buttocks until his thighs ran red with blood. Another snared his ankle with a lash and sent him sprawling. Finally, when the boy could only crawl, they grew bored of the sport and put an arrow through his back.
[…]
​​Across the road, a girl no older than Dany was sobbing in a high thin voice as a rider shoved her over a pile of corpses, facedown, and thrust himself inside her. Other riders dismounted to take their turns. That was the sort of deliverance the Dothraki brought the Lamb Men.
I am the blood of the dragon, Daenerys Targaryen reminded herself as she turned her face away. She pressed her lips together and hardened her heart and rode on toward the gate. - Daenerys VII AGOT

After that, Dany tries to save the Lhazareen from rape, but more importantly, it grows on her a conscience of what the consequences of war are, and what she is willing to do:

The thought of home disquieted her. If her sun-and-stars had lived, he would have led his khalasar across the poison water and swept away her enemies, but his strength had left the world. Her bloodriders remained, sworn to her for life and skilled in slaughter, but only in the ways of the horselords. The Dothraki sacked cities and plundered kingdoms, they did not rule them. Dany had no wish to reduce King’s Landing to a blackened ruin full of unquiet ghosts. She had supped enough on tears. I want to make my kingdom beautiful, to fill it with fat men and pretty maids and laughing children. I want my people to smile when they see me ride by, the way Viserys said they smiled for my father.
But before she could do that she must conquer. - Daenerys II ACOK

When Dany remembers “the ways of the horselords”, she thinks she doesn’t want to be like this. She is pragmatic, she recognizes the necessity of war to win the throne, but she makes it clear that she doesn’t want her war to be “in the way of the horselords”, that she doesn’t want to transform her kingdom to ruins. And we definitely see this when Dany commands her own battles, always ordering her soldiers to have mercy, and punishing murderers and rapists:

“I have a gift for you as well.” She slammed the chest shut. “Three days. On the morning of the third day, send out your slaves. All of them. Every man, woman, and child shall be given a weapon, and as much food, clothing, coin, and goods as he or she can carry. These they shall be allowed to choose freely from among their masters’ possessions, as payment for their years of servitude. When all the slaves have departed, you will open your gates and allow my Unsullied to enter and search your city, to make certain none remain in bondage. If you do this, Yunkai will not be burned or plundered, and none of your people shall be molested. The Wise Masters will have the peace they desire, and will have proved themselves wise indeed. What say you?” - Daenerys IV ASOS

~

“If battle is joined, let Grey Worm show wisdom as well as valor,” Dany told him. “Spare any slave who runs or throws down his weapon. The fewer slain, the more remain to join us after.” - Daenerys IV ASOS

~

“Very well,” Dany said. “Sellsword or slave, spare all those who will pledge me their faith. If enough of the Second Sons will join us, keep the company intact.” - Daenerys IV ADWD

~

“Our own losses?”
“A dozen. If that many.”
Only then did she allow herself to smile. - Daenerys IV ADWD

~

She was pleased. Meereen had been sacked savagely, as new-fallen cities always were, but Dany was determined that should end now that the city was hers. She had decreed that murderers were to be hanged, that looters were to lose a hand, and rapists their manhood. Eight killers swung from the walls, and the Unsullied had filled a bushel basket with bloody hands and soft red worms, but Meereen was calm again. - Daenerys VI ASOS

2) Dany’s time with Drogo is also something that builds up her confidence. She starts to become more confident to give orders and act like a queen/khaleesi:

“Wait here,” Dany told Ser Jorah. “Tell them all to stay. Tell them I command it.”
The knight smiled. Ser Jorah was not a handsome man. He had a neck and shoulders like a bull, and coarse black hair covered his arms and chest so thickly that there was none left for his head. Yet his smiles gave Dany comfort. “You are learning to talk like a queen, Daenerys.”
“Not a queen,” said Dany. “A khaleesi.” She wheeled her horse about and galloped down the ridge alone. - Daenerys III AGOT

She looks up to him for strength:

Khal Drogo stood over her as she ate, his face as hard as a bronze shield. His long black braid was shiny with oil. He wore gold rings in his mustache, gold bells in his braid, and a heavy belt of solid gold medallions around his waist, but his chest was bare. She looked at him whenever she felt her strength failing; looked at him, and chewed and swallowed, chewed and swallowed, chewed and swallowed. - Daenerys V AGOT

The authority of being a Khaleesi gives Dany the protection she needs to first defy Viserys:

“I know you did,” Dany replied, watching Viserys. He lay on the ground, sucking in air noisily, red-faced and sobbing. He was a pitiful thing. He had always been a pitiful thing. Why had she never seen that before? There was a hollow place inside her where her fear had been.
“Take his horse,” Dany commanded Ser Jorah. Viserys gaped at her. He could not believe what he was hearing; nor could Dany quite believe what she was saying. Yet the words came. “Let my brother walk behind us back to the khalasar.” Among the Dothraki, the man who does not ride was no man at all, the lowest of the low, without honor or pride. “Let everyone see him as he is.” - Daenerys III AGOT

~

His fingers dug into her arm painfully and for an instant Dany felt like a child again, quailing in the face of his rage. She reached out with her other hand and grabbed the first thing she touched, the belt she’d hoped to give him, a heavy chain of ornate bronze medallions. She swung it with all her strength.
It caught him full in the face. Viserys let go of her. Blood ran down his cheek where the edge of one of the medallions had sliced it open. “You are the one who forgets himself,” Dany said to him. “Didn’t you learn anything that day in the grass? Leave me now, before I summon my khas to drag you out. And pray that Khal Drogo does not hear of this, or he will cut open your belly and feed you your own entrails.” - Daenerys IV AGOT

The power she derives from Drogo also allows her to defy his own men, to protect the Lhazareen and Mirri:

“She is a lamb girl,” Quaro said in Dothraki. “She is nothing, Khaleesi. The riders do her honor. The Lamb Men lay with sheep, it is known.”
“It is known,” her handmaid Irri echoed.
“It is known,” agreed Jhogo, astride the tall grey stallion that Drogo had given him. “If her wailing offends your ears, Khaleesi, Jhogo will bring you her tongue.” He drew his arakh.
“I will not have her harmed,” Dany said. “I claim her. Do as I command you, or Khal Drogo will know the reason why.” - Daenerys VII AGOT

~

Qotho gave her a stinging slap. “We are no sheep, maegi.”
“Stop it,” Dany said angrily. “She is mine. I will not have her harmed.”
Khal Drogo grunted. “The arrow must come out, Qotho.” - Daenerys VII AGOT

~

​​Qotho glared down at her, his eyes hard as flint. “The maegi.” He spat. “This I will not do.”
“You will,” Dany said, “or when Drogo wakes, he will hear why you defied me.” - Daenerys VIII AGOT

When Drogo is dying, Dany herself becomes desperate and recognizes that Drogo was the one that gave her that protection:

Dany did not want to go back to Vaes Dothrak and live the rest of her life among those terrible old women, yet she knew that the knight spoke the truth. Drogo had been more than her sun-and-stars; he had been the shield that kept her safe. - Daenerys VIII AGOT

But it goes beyond that. Because while the authority of being a Khaleesi gave her protection, this was just the initial push that Dany needed to become a more confident person. Even after Drogo dies and she no longer has his protection, Dany is able to keep that confidence by herself:

“You will be my khalasar,” she told them. “I see the faces of slaves. I free you. Take off your collars. Go if you wish, no one shall harm you. If you stay, it will be as brothers and sisters, husbands and wives.” The black eyes watched her, wary, expressionless. “I see the children, women, the wrinkled faces of the aged. I was a child yesterday. Today I am a woman. Tomorrow I will be old. To each of you I say, give me your hands and your hearts, and there will always be a place for you.” She turned to the three young warriors of her khas. “Jhogo, to you I give the silver-handled whip that was my bride gift, and name you ko, and ask your oath, that you will live and die as blood of my blood, riding at my side to keep me safe from harm.”
Jhogo took the whip from her hands, but his face was confused. “Khaleesi,” he said hesitantly, “this is not done. It would shame me, to be bloodrider to a woman.
"Aggo,” Dany called, paying no heed to Jhogo’s words. If I look back I am lost. “To you I give the dragonbone bow that was my bride gift.” It was double-curved, shiny black and exquisite, taller than she was. “I name you ko, and ask your oath, that you should live and die as blood of my blood, riding at my side to keep me safe from harm.”
Aggo accepted the bow with lowered eyes. “I cannot say these words. Only a man can lead a khalasar or name a ko.”
“Rakharo,” Dany said, turning away from the refusal, “you shall have the great arakh that was my bride gift, with hilt and blade chased in gold. And you too I name my ko, and ask that you live and die as blood of my blood, riding at my side to keep me safe from harm.”
“You are khaleesi,” Rakharo said, taking the arakh. “I shall ride at your side to Vaes Dothrak beneath the Mother of Mountains, and keep you safe from harm until you take your place with the crones of the dosh khaleen. No more can I promise.”
She nodded, as calmly as if she had not heard his answer, and turned to the last of her champions. “Ser Jorah Mormont,” she said, “first and greatest of my knights, I have no bride gift to give you, but I swear to you, one day you shall have from my hands a longsword like none the world has ever seen, dragon-forged and made of Valyrian steel. And I would ask for your oath as well.” - Daenerys X AGOT

And Drogo still inspires Dany to be brave after his death and gives her comfort:

They rode by night, and by day took refuge from the sun beneath their tents. Soon enough Dany learned the truth of Doreah’s words. This was no kindly country. They left a trail of dead and dying horses behind them as they went, for Pono, Jhaqo, and the others had seized the best of Drogo’s herds, leaving to Dany the old and the scrawny, the sickly and the lame, the broken animals and the ill-tempered. It was the same with the people. They are not strong, she told herself, so I must be their strength. I must show no fear, no weakness, no doubt. However frightened my heart, when they look upon my face they must see only Drogo’s queen. She felt older than her fourteen years. If ever she had truly been a girl, that time was done. - Daenerys I ACOK

~

Drogo who had given her the pelt she wore, the head and hide of a hrakkar, the white lion of the Dothraki sea. It was too big for her and had a musty smell, but it made her feel as if her sun-and-stars was still near her. - Daenerys I ADWD

3) Drogo’s life was one of the lives that gave Dany her dragons:

“They are mine,” she said fiercely. They had been born from her faith and her need, given life by the deaths of her husband and unborn son and the maegi Mirri Maz Duur. Dany had walked into the flames as they came forth, and they had drunk milk from her swollen breasts. “No man will take them from me while I live.” - Daenerys I ACOK

4) Dany gained a personal understanding of slavery because of her marriage to Drogo. Despite growing to love him, Dany never forgot the pain and fear of being sold:

“My brother and I were guests in Illyrio’s manse for half a year. If he meant to sell us, he could have done it then.”
“He did sell you,” Ser Jorah said. “To Khal Drogo.”
Dany flushed. He had the truth of it, but she did not like the sharpness with which he put it. - Daenerys III ACOK

~

He was too eloquent for her. Dany had no answer for him, only the raw feeling in her belly. “Slavery is not the same as rain,” she insisted. “I have been rained on and I have been sold. It is not the same. No man wants to be owned.” - Daenerys III ADWD

And that gave her the understanding of the systemic nature of slavery. She realizes that while some masters can be “good” to their slaves (as she considers that Drogo was to her), being at the mercy of someone else is an uncertain situation, and you can’t rely on the hope that a slave master will be “good” to their slaves, which is why no one should be anyone’s property:

“Better to come a beggar than a slaver,” Arstan said.
“There speaks one who has been neither.” Dany’s nostrils flared. “Do you know what it is like to be sold, squire? I do. My brother sold me to Khal Drogo for the promise of a golden crown. Well, Drogo crowned him in gold, though not as he had wished, and I … my sun-and-stars made a queen of me, but if he had been a different man, it might have been much otherwise. Do you think I have forgotten how it felt to be afraid?” - Daenerys II ASOS

5) Dany ends up surpassing Drogo. Because of her time with him and the confidence she gained, she decides to be a khaleesi in her own right, but she ends up gaining a khalasar more loyal to her than they had ever been to him:

Wordless, the knight fell to his knees. The men of her khas came up behind him. Jhogo was the first to lay his arakh at her feet. “Blood of my blood,” he murmured, pushing his face to the smoking earth. “Blood of my blood,” she heard Aggo echo. “Blood of my blood,” Rakharo shouted.
And after them came her handmaids, and then the others, all the Dothraki, men and women and children, and Dany had only to look at their eyes to know that they were hers now, today and tomorrow and forever, hers as they had never been Drogo’s. - Daenerys X AGOT

And by the end of the story, she will be a greater khal than he ever was. Drogo said that he would cross the sea like no other khal has ever done before:

“And to Rhaego son of Drogo, the stallion who will mount the world, to him I also pledge a gift. To him I will give this iron chair his mother’s father sat in. I will give him Seven Kingdoms. I, Drogo, khal, will do this thing.” His voice rose, and he lifted his fist to the sky. “I will take my khalasar west to where the world ends, and ride the wooden horses across the black salt water as no khal has done before. I will kill the men in the iron suits and tear down their stone houses. I will rape their women, take their children as slaves, and bring their broken gods back to Vaes Dothrak to bow down beneath the Mother of Mountains. This I vow, I, Drogo son of Bharbo. This I swear before the Mother of Mountains, as the stars look down in witness.” - Daenerys VI AGOT

But in the end, the one who will end up doing this will be Dany. She already managed to make Dothraki sail on ships, something Drogo promised he would do but died before he could do it:

By then there were people in the streets once more. “Make way,” Aggo shouted, while Jhogo sniffed at the air suspiciously. “I smell it, Khaleesi,” he called. “The poison water.” The Dothraki distrusted the sea and all that moved upon it. Water that a horse could not drink was water they wanted no part of. They will learn, Dany resolved. I braved their sea with Khal Drogo. Now they can brave mine. - Daenerys V ACOK

~

Her Dothraki called the sea the poison water, distrusting any liquid that their horses could not drink. On the day the three ships had lifted anchor at Quarth, you would have thought they were sailing to hell instead of Pentos. Her brave young bloodriders had stared off at the dwindling coastline with huge white eyes, each of the three determined to show no fear before the other two, while her handmaids Irri and Jhiqui clutched the rail desperately and retched over the side at every little swell. The rest of Dany’s tiny khalasar remained below decks, preferring the company of their nervous horses to the terrifying landless world about the ships. When a sudden squall had enveloped them six days into the voyage, she heard them through the hatches; the horses kicking and screaming, the riders praying in thin quavery voices each time Balerion heaved or swayed. - Daenerys I ASOS

Not only that, but while Drogo was a great khal whose khalasar numbered a hundred thousand men, Dany will end up becoming greater, by becoming the Stallion who Mounts the World:

Faster and faster the visions came, one after the other, until it seemed as if the very air had come alive. Shadows whirled and danced inside a tent, boneless and terrible. A little girl ran barefoot toward a big house with a red door. Mirri Maz Duur shrieked in the flames, a dragon bursting from her brow. Behind a silver horse the bloody corpse of a naked man bounced and dragged. A white lion ran through grass taller than a man. Beneath the Mother of Mountains, a line of naked crones crept from a great lake and knelt shivering before her, their grey heads bowed. - Daenerys IV ACOK

None of this is to say that Dany needed to be raped and sold to become strong, or that being sold to him is something that can be excused just because it ended up having some positive ramifications. It’s also not to say that Drogo was a good husband to Daenerys. He was not. He bought her:

“I shall treasure them always.” Dany had heard tales of such eggs, but she had never seen one, nor thought to see one. It was a truly magnificent gift, though she knew that Illyrio could afford to be lavish. He had collected a fortune in horses and slaves for his part in selling her to Khal Drogo. - Daenerys II AGOT

He raped her:

Yet every night, some time before the dawn, Drogo would come to her tent and wake her in the dark, to ride her as relentlessly as he rode his stallion. He always took her from behind, Dothraki fashion, for which Dany was grateful; that way her lord husband could not see the tears that wet her face, and she could use her pillow to muffle her cries of pain. When he was done, he would close his eyes and begin to snore softly and Dany would lie beside him, her body bruised and sore, hurting too much for sleep.
Day followed day, and night followed night, until Dany knew she could not endure a moment longer. She would kill herself rather than go on, she decided one night … - Daenerys III AGOT

And he didn’t really care about her or about her wishes, and only started to give a damn about her because she stopped showing any weakness:

Khal Drogo ignored her when they rode, even as he had ignored her during their wedding, and spent his evenings drinking with his warriors and bloodriders, racing his prize horses, watching women dance and men die. Dany had no place in these parts of his life. - Daenerys III AGOT

~

Only men were allowed to set foot on the Mother, Dany knew. The khal’s bloodriders would go with him, and return at dawn. “Tell my sun-and-stars that I dream of him, and wait anxious for his return,” she replied, thankful. Dany tired more easily as the child grew within her; in truth, a night of rest would be most welcome. Her pregnancy only seemed to have inflamed Drogo’s desire for her, and of late his embraces left her exhausted. - Daenerys IV AGOT

~

“In the Free Cities, there are ships by the thousand,” Dany told him, as she had told him before. “Wooden horses with a hundred legs, that fly across the sea on wings full of wind.”
Khal Drogo did not want to hear it. “We will speak no more of wooden horses and iron chairs.” He dropped the cloth and began to dress. - Daenerys VI AGOT

~

If Khal Drogo had been with her, Dany would have ridden her silver. Among the Dothraki, mothers stayed on horseback almost up to the moment of birth, and she did not want to seem weak in her husband’s eyes. But with the khal off hunting, it was pleasant to lie back on soft cushions and be carried across Vaes Dothrak, with red silk curtains to shield her from the sun. - Daenerys VI AGOT

But he did have an impact in her life, not because he ever actually cared about helping her (he didn’t, as shown above), but because his position and authority gave her power, and because the negative experiences of seeing war and being sold shaped Dany’s views on war and slavery. Dany herself has conflicting feelings regarding him (feelings of love, but also negative feelings about being sold). So it’s interesting to discuss the complex feelings that Dany has about him, and the positive and negative impact he had in her life, because it’s these contradictions that make this relationship such a complex one for Daenerys.

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stormborns

Chapters of A Song of Ice & Fire - A Game of Thrones - Daenerys IX      The Dothraki exchanged uncertain glances. “Khaleesi,” the handmaid Irri explained, as if to a child. “Jhaqo is a khal now, with twenty thousand riders at his back.”      She lifted her head. “And I am Daenerys Stormborn, Daenerys of House Targaryen, of the blood of Aegon the Conqueror and Maegor the Cruel and Old Valyria before them. I am the dragon’s daughter, and I swear to you, these men will die screaming.”

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canon dany challenge   quotes by dany [1/?]  »

❝My speech may be Tyroshi, and my garb Dothraki, but I am of Westeros, of the Sunset Kingdoms,❞ Dany told him.

[or that moment when Dany listed the ethnicities of all of the men she would grow to love.]

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