Why the Peace in Meereen is false: Parallels between Dany’s two marriages
Both of Dany’s marriages occur in a context that she clearly does not want. However, there are deeper parallels at play between the marriages, ones that crucially reveal that the peace in Meereen is false.
When Dany is introduced to Drogo & Hizdahr, both of them are described as incredibly wealthy, well-connected, and powerful men, who stand out amongst the Dothraki & Meereenese.
“Drogo is so rich that even his slaves wear golden collars. A hundred thousand men ride in his khalasar, and his palace in Vaes Dothrak has two hundred rooms and doors of solid silver.” There was more like that, so much more, what a handsome man the khal was, so tall and fierce, fearless in battle, the best rider ever to mount a horse, a demon archer. (AGOT Dany I)
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Dany nodded, and Hizdahr strode forth; a tall man, very slender, with flawless amber skin. He bowed on the same spot where Stalwart Shield had lain in death not long before. I need this man, Dany reminded herself. Hizdahr was a wealthy merchant with many friends in Meereen, and more across the seas. He had visited Volantis, Lys, and Qarth, had kin in Tolos and Elyria, and was even said to wield some influence in New Ghis, where the Yunkai'i were trying to stir up enmity against Dany and her rule. And he was rich. Famously and fabulously rich … (ADWD Dany I)
Both Drogo and Hizdahr are slavers and slaveowners.
The palanquin slowed and stopped. The curtains were thrown back, and a slave offered a hand to help Daenerys out. His collar, she noted, was ordinary bronze. Her brother followed, one hand still clenched hard around his sword hilt. It took two strong men to get Magister Illyrio back on his feet. (AGOT Dany I)
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And like to grow richer, if I grant his petition. When Dany had closed the city’s fighting pits, the value of pit shares had plummeted. Hizdahr zo Loraq had grabbed them up with both hands, and now owned most of the fighting pits in Meereen. (ADWD Dany I)
The marriage to Drogo and Hizdahr is engineered by Illyrio Mopatis and Galazza Galare, the Green Grace, respectively. They are both individuals with poewr and authority, in Pentos and Meereen, and have their own motivations for arranging the wedding.
“She has had her blood. She is old enough for the khal,” Illyrio told him, not for the first time. “Look at her. That silver-gold hair, those purple eyes … she is the blood of old Valyria, no doubt, no doubt … and highborn, daughter of the old king, sister to the new, she cannot fail to entrance our Drogo.” When he released her hand, Daenerys found herself trembling. (AGOT Dany I)
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Dany pushed her food about her plate. “And who would the gods of Ghis have me take as my king and consort?”
“Hizdahr zo Loraq,” Galazza Galare said firmly.
Dany did not trouble to feign surprise. “Why Hizdahr? Skahaz is noble born as well.”
Dany did not trouble to feign surprise. “Why Hizdahr? Skahaz is noble born as well.”
“Skahaz is Kandaq, Hizdahr Loraq. Your Radiance will forgive me, but only one who is not herself Ghiscari would not understand the difference. Oft have I heard that yours is the blood of Aegon the Conqueror, Jaehaerys the Wise, and Daeron the Dragon. The noble Hizdahr is of the blood of Mazdhan the Magnificent, Hazrak the Handsome, and Zharaq the Liberator.” (ADWD Dany IV)
Illyrio is scheming to install a Blackfyre pretender, Aegon VI Targaryen, to the Throne, while Galazza Galare is the Harpy who engineers the shadow war in Meereen to restore slavery to the city.
“I admire your powers of persuasion,” Tyrion told Illyrio. “How did you convince the Golden Company to take up the cause of our sweet queen when they have spent so much of their history fighting against the Targaryens?”
Illyrio brushed away the objection as if it were a fly. “Black or red, a dragon is still a dragon. When Maelys the Monstrous died upon the Stepstones, it was the end of the male line of House Blackfyre.” The cheesemonger smiled through his forked beard. “And Daenerys will give the exiles what Bittersteel and the Blackfyres never could. She will take them home.” (ADWD Tyrion II)
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“It would be my pleasure,” said Dany, admiring the glimmer of the gold and the sheen of the green pearls on Cleon’s slippers while doing her best to ignore the pinching in her toes. Grazdan, she had been forewarned, was a cousin of the Green Grace, whose support she had found invaluable. The priestess was a voice for peace, acceptance, and obedience to lawful authority. I can give her cousin a respectful hearing, whatever he desires. (ADWD Dany I) (the reason I point out this quote is because Grazdan zo Galare, the Green Grace’s cousin, wants Daenerys to pay him because his former weaving women slaves, upon becoming freedwomen, opened their own prosperous weaving business. Daenerys refuses. Later, not so coincidentally, the Sons of the Harpy break into weaving women’s homes, gang rape them, and murder them, and before murdering them, break their loom.)
Illyrio is a Magister of Pentos and Galazza Galare is “a voice for peace, acceptance, and obedience to lawful authority,” a woman with a lot of sway in the city. Not only are both of them highborn nobility and slaveowners, they are also behind the scenes of the politics of their regions. Dany’s death is also part of their plans:
The fat man grew pensive. “Daenerys was half a child when she came to me, yet fairer even than my second wife, so lovely I was tempted to claim her for myself. Such a fearful, furtive thing, however, I knew I should get no joy from coupling with her. Instead I summoned a bedwarmer and fucked her vigorously until the madness passed. If truth be told, I did not think Daenerys would survive for long amongst the horselords.” (ADWD Tyrion II)
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“In return he gave her peace. Do not cast it away, ser, I beg you. Peace is the pearl beyond price. Hizdahr is of Loraq. Never would he soil his hands with poison. He is innocent.”
“How can you be certain?” Unless you know the poisoner.
“The gods of Ghis have told me.“ (ADWD The Queen’s Hand)
Illyrio did not anticipate that Dany would survive long with Drogo, so her death was calculated into his plans. Additionally, he and Varys are also responsible for ensuring that Robert Baratheon would hear of Dany’s pregnancy and send an assassin to her, so that her near death would compel Drogo to act and invade Westeros. Meanwhile, Galazza Galare arranges for Hizdahr’s confectioner to poison the locusts that he serves to Daenerys as a snack during the re-opening of Daznak’s Pit. In both cases, the plans fail. Not only does Dany survive, contrary to Illyrio’s prediction, Viserys dies, Drogo dies, and Dany becomes the Mother of Dragons. And Strong Belwas eats the locusts instead of Dany––though he is badly poisoned, he survives, and Dany tames Drogon in Daznak’s pit and flies away from Meereen.
“Yes. And how was it you knew the wine was poisoned?”
“I … I but suspected … the caravan brought a letter from Varys, he warned me there would be attempts. He wanted you watched, yes, but not harmed.” He went to his knees. “If I had not told them someone else would have. You know that.” (ASOS Dany VI)
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“Hizdahr’s confectioner. His name would mean nothing to you. The man was just a catspaw. The Sons of the Harpy took his daughter and swore she would be returned unharmed once the queen was dead. Belwas and the dragon saved Daenerys. No one saved the girl. She was returned to her father in the black of night, in nine pieces. One for every year she lived.” (ADWD The Queensguard)
Illyrio/Varys and Galazza Galare use similar methods to induce these assassination attempts. Illyrio and Varys convince Jorah to report on Viserys and Daenerys and send word of their movements in return for granting him a pardon to let him go home. Galazza Galare has the confectioner’s daughter kidnapped to force him to poison the locusts; when he fails, the Sons of the Harpy kill her and butcher her into nine pieces, matching her age of nine years old, sending the pieces back to him.
Both marriages are seen as necessary for a crucial political goal:
“I do,” he said sharply. “We go home with an army, sweet sister. With Khal Drogo’s army, that is how we go home. And if you must wed him and bed him for that, you will.” (AGOT Dany I)
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“I want peace. I gave Hizdahr ninety days to end the killings. If he does, I will take him for a husband.” (ADWD Dany IV)
Viserys sells Dany to Drogo to gain an army to invade Westeros. We know that Illyrio and Varys broker the marriage because they want Drogo’s army for Young Griff specifically. Notice the difference when Dany has actual power: she wants to marry Hizdahr to bring peace to her city. She describes her choice as “marriage or war,” clearly indicating that she’s not happy about this impending marriage. Yet men sell Dany to Drogo for the sake of war, while Dany forces herself to marry a man she does not love for the sake of a peace (a peace that is false, yes, but Dany’s intentions are compassionate).
For both marriages, Dany is required to present herself for a humiliating, sexually degrading inspection:
“She’s too skinny,” Viserys said. His hair, the same silver-blond as hers, had been pulled back tightly behind his head and fastened with a dragonbone brooch. It was a severe look that emphasized the hard, gaunt lines of his face. He rested his hand on the hilt of the sword that Illyrio had lent him, and said, “Are you sure that Khal Drogo likes his women this young?” (AGOT Dany I)
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“Smile,” Viserys whispered nervously, his hand falling to the hilt of his sword. “And stand up straight. Let him see that you have breasts. Gods know, you have little enough as is.” (AGOT Dany I)
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“But,” said Reznak mo Reznak, blinking, “but you must, Your Worship. Before a marriage it is traditional for the women of the man’s house to examine the bride’s womb and, ah … her female parts. To ascertain that they are well formed and, ah …”
“… fertile,” finished Galazza Galare. “An ancient ritual, Your Radiance. Three Graces shall be present to witness the examination and say the proper prayers.” (ADWD Dany VI)
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“The gods of Ghis would deem it no true union.” Galazza Galare’s face was hidden behind a veil of green silk. Only her eyes showed, green and wise and sad. “In the eyes of the city you would be the noble Hizdahr’s concubine, not his lawful wedded wife. Your children would be bastards. Your Worship must marry Hizdahr in the Temple of the Graces, with all the nobility of Meereen on hand to bear witness to your union.” (ADWD Dany VI)
Viserys expects Dany to look good so that Drogo will desire her enough to purchase her. Signifying that Dany has some more power in her second marriage, she is able to reject Reznak’s proposal that she let the women of Hizdahr’s family inspect her “women’s parts” to ensure her fertility, and yet the very fact that such a tradition exists, coupled with Dany assenting to marrying Hizdahr under Meereenese rites, shows that she’s still being subjected to patriarchal trials of observation. Indeed, the focus shifts from one man, Drogo, finding her desirable and fertile, to an entire city finding her fertile. Even though Dany is the Queen Regnant of Meereen, the city will be judging her as whether or not she deserves to be Hizdahr’s wife, rather than the other way around.
Both marriages are marked by enslavement, death, and violence:
Dany looked away from the coupling, frightened when she realized what was happening, but a second warrior stepped forward, and a third, and soon there was no way to avert her eyes. Then two men seized the same woman. She heard a shout, saw a shove, and in the blink of an eye the arakhs were out, long razor-sharp blades, half sword and half scythe. A dance of death began as the warriors circled and slashed, leaping toward each other, whirling the blades around their heads, shrieking insults at each clash. No one made a move to interfere. (AGOT Dany II)
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“They are permitting that, yes,” she had replied, “but their warships remain. They can close their fingers around our throat again whenever they wish. They have opened a slave market within sight of my walls!” (ADWD Dany VIII)
Dothraki marriages are notorious for featuring displays of violence and fights ending in death. Of course there are slaves present at the wedding too. At Dany’s wedding to Hizdahr, she is forced to contend with the Yunkai’i keeping their warships outside city walls and openly engaging in re-enslavement as terms of the peace. We know from Tyrion’s chapters that the Yunkai’i slave overseers, who are indeed present outside of Meereen at that moment, are violent. For example, Nurse, Tyrion and Penny’s overseer, captures three slaves who attempt to flee, has them tied up and hung, and flings explosive rocks at their legs to make their legs get blasted off, killing them instantly. Hence the violence and enslavement going on at both weddings is an important parallel highlighting that Dany is powerless at her wedding to Hizdahr, even though she has more power than she did during her wedding to Drogo.
And more specific to slavery, we see that Dany herself is enslaved by the marriage:
“Now you look all a princess,” the girl said breathlessly when they were done. Dany glanced at her image in the silvered looking glass that Illyrio had so thoughtfully provided. A princess, she thought, but she remembered what the girl had said, how Khal Drogo was so rich even his slaves wore golden collars. She felt a sudden chill, and gooseflesh pimpled her bare arms. (AGOT Dany I)
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“I shall treasure them always.” Dany had heard tales of such eggs, but she had never seen one, nor thought to see one. It was a truly magnificent gift, though she knew that Illyrio could afford to be lavish. He had collected a fortune in horses and slaves for his part in selling her to Khal Drogo. (AGOT Dany II)
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When her feet were clean, Hizdahr dried them with a soft towel, laced her sandals on again, and helped her stand. Hand in hand, they followed the Green Grace inside the temple, where the air was thick with incense and the gods of Ghis stood cloaked in shadows in their alcoves.
Four hours later, they emerged again as man and wife, bound together wrist and ankle with chains of yellow gold. (ADWD Dany VII)
We know that Dany is literally enslaved by her marriage to Drogo because Illyrio collects a fortune for selling her and Viserys thinks he’s purchased Drogo’s army. Yet we see an eerie, glaring parallel between the two marriages that showcases that Dany’s marriage to Hizdahr does metaphorically enslave her. Dany wears a gold collar when she is presented to Drogo for the first time, and is chained by wrist and ankle to Hizdahr in chains of of yellow gold. The imagery could not be clearer. In both situations, Dany is forced to physically bear the emblems of enslavement: a collar and chains. Throughout ASOIAF, every slave we are introduced to is wearing either a collar or chains, which makes this imagery even harder hitting. And it’s not just that Dany is forced to marry a man she doesn’t love, and give up her sexual freedom as a result; it’s also that she is forced to agree to the terms of a peace that she hates, terms that harm her people and go against her goals of abolition.
Naturally, then, Dany is miserable at both of her weddings:
Dany had never felt so alone as she did seated in the midst of that vast horde. Her brother had told her to smile, and so she smiled until her face ached and the tears came unbidden to her eyes. She did her best to hide them, knowing how angry Viserys would be if he saw her crying, terrified of how Khal Drogo might react. (AGOT Dany II)
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So she sat in her wedding silks, nursing a cup of honeyed wine, afraid to eat, talking silently to herself. I am blood of the dragon, she told herself. I am Daenerys Stormborn, Princess of Dragonstone, of the blood and seed of Aegon the Conqueror. (AGOT Dany II)
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I hate this, thought Daenerys Targaryen. How did this happen, that I am drinking and smiling with men I’d sooner flay? (ADWD Dany VIII)
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So Daenerys sat silent through the meal, wrapped in a vermilion tokar and black thoughts, speaking only when spoken to, brooding on the men and women being bought and sold outside her walls, even as they feasted here within the city. Let her noble husband make the speeches and laugh at the feeble Yunkish japes. That was a king’s right and a king’s duty. (ADWD Dany VIII)
Dany is silent at both of her weddings––terrified at her first wedding, sullen at her second. And Dany feels extremely alone and out of place at both of her weddings as well.
Hizdahr and Drogo do not ask for consent when they initiate sex with Dany.
When she emerged from the lake, shivering and dripping, her handmaid Doreah hurried to her with a robe of painted sandsilk, but Khal Drogo waved her away. He was looking on her swollen breasts and the curve of her belly with approval, and Dany could see the shape of his manhood pressing through his horsehide trousers, below the heavy gold medallions of his belt. She went to him and helped him unlace. Then her huge khal took her by the hips and lifted her into the air, as he might lift a child. The bells in his hair rang softly. (AGOT Dany V)
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The excitement of the day had inflamed her husband’s passions. No sooner had her handmaids retired for the night than he tore the robe from her and tumbled her backwards into bed. Dany slid her arms around him and let him have his way. Drunk as he was, she knew he would not be inside her long. (ADWD Dany VIII)
We know that Dany was feeling suicidal at one point because of Drogo’s nightly rapes of her. I deliberately did not include that quote because I wanted to point out a more explicit parallel between how Drogo and Hizdahr treat Dany, in a sexual context, where Dany does not feel the same fear she did when she was initially married to Drogo. As Drogo’s bridal slave, Dany’s consent does not matter to him. The age difference between them (she’s thirteen and he’s over thirty when they marry) also establishes a power differential. Yet even after Dany becomes accustomed to her marriage and grows to “love” Drogo, we see that Drogo does not ask for consent. He communicates his “approval,” as in his arousal, silently, and Dany goes to him and performs a “marital duty.” In the scene I included, Dany’s handmaids are only allowed to clothe her again after Drogo takes his pleasure. Does Dany consent to having sex in front of people? Does Dany consent to the act itself? Drogo will assume that she does because “she went to him and helped him unlace,” but the mere fact that he expected sex in a public space, and did not have to verbally communicate his intent, showcases that he expects Dany to “do her wifely duty,” regardless of what Dany actually wants. It’s also not a coincidence that GRRM writes that the way Drogo holds her is as if “he might lift a child.” As grotesque as the description is, it’s a stark reminder of the power difference between them.
Just as Drogo initiates sex with Dany because of the excitement of her eating the stallion’s heart and their son being prophecied as the Stallion who Mounts the World, so too does Hizdahr initiate sex with Dany because of “the excitement of the day.” Hizdahr does not pay attention to Dany’s pleasure. Nor does he await her consent––he indicates his desire by tearing her clothes off and pushing her backward into bed. Dany “let[s] him have his way” which is clearly a resignation to her “marital duty.” When Dany has sex with Drogo and Hizdahr, there is no indication of her express consent or an implicit, enthusiastic consent. Nor is there any attention to her pleasure, her desire, and her initiative. Contrast how different her sex with Daario is:
That night Daario had her every way a man can have a woman, and she gave herself to him willingly. The last time, as the sun was coming up, she used her mouth to make him hard again, as Doreah had taught her long ago, then rode him so wildly that his wound began to bleed again, and for one sweet heartbeat she could not tell whether he was inside of her, or her inside of him. (ADWD Dany VII)
Dany initiates sex with Daario out of personal desire. Each time they have sex, we get descriptions of Dany’s actual pleasure and enjoyment. We see her consent “willingly.” Notice that words like “willing” and “gave herself to him” and “sweet heartbeat” and other such descriptions are generally missing from her sexual interactions with Drogo and Hizdahr. There is a world of difference in the sex she has with them versus with Daario, and this is even keeping in mind that Dany believes she loves Drogo. Thus, both Drogo and Hizdahr use Dany for their sexual pleasure without obtaining her consent, which goes to the broader point that Dany’s consent (or lack of it) don’t matter to them.
It is probably fitting, then, that both marriages end in a fit of betrayal and violence. Mirri betrays Dany by killing Rhaego and engineering a situation where Dany will permit her to use blood magic, while the Green Grace tries to have Dany assassinated, a plot that implodes when Drogon arrives in Daznak’s Pit:
Inside the tent Dany found a cushion, soft silk stuffed with feathers. She clutched it to her breasts as she walked back out to Drogo, to her sun-and-stars. If I look back I am lost. It hurt even to walk, and she wanted to sleep, to sleep and not to dream. She knelt, kissed Drogo on the lips, and pressed the cushion down across his face. (AGOT Dany IX)
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She wondered if Hizdahr was still king. His crown had come from her, could he hold it in her absence? He wanted Drogon dead. I heard him. “Kill it,” he screamed, “kill the beast,” and the look upon his face was lustful. And Strong Belwas had been on his knees, heaving and shuddering. Poison. It had to be poison. The honeyed locusts. Hizdahr urged them on me, but Belwas ate them all. She had made Hizdahr her king, taken him into her bed, opened the fighting pits for him, he had no reason to want her dead. Yet who else could it have been? Reznak, her perfumed seneschal? The Yunkai’i? The Sons of the Harpy? (ADWD Dany X)
The reason the Khalasar abandons Dany and the most vulnerable members of Drogo’s Khalasar is because Mirri uses blood magic to manipulate the situation and essentially kill Drogo off (though Drogo does also ignore her instructions). The reason Dany is wandering the Dothraki Sea is because the slavers conspire against her throughout her stint in Meereen, prompting her to chain her dragons, eventually resulting in Drogon landing in the pit after being attracted by the scent of blood and carnage. Betrayal catalyzes both fiery and explosive events that completely change the course of Dany’s life. Dany also goes against everyone’s expectations and pivots in a way that the people around her don’t expect: she hatches the dragons at the end of AGOT and she re-embraces fire and blood at the end of ADWD, rejecting the false slaver peace. Dany’s encounter with Drogo starts with the Dothraki and Dany’s marriage to Hizdahr ends with the Dothraki, as Khal Jhaqo and his Khalasar find her standing next to Drogon at the end of ADWD. Thus, the end of both marriages is marked by Dany’s rebirth:
Viserys was Mad Aerys’s son, just so. Daenerys … Daenerys is quite different.“ He popped a roasted lark into his mouth and crunched it noisily, bones and all. ”The frightened child who sheltered in my manse died on the Dothraki sea, and was reborn in blood and fire. This dragon queen who wears her name is a true Targaryen.” (ADWD Tyrion II)
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No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words.
“Fire and Blood,” Daenerys told the swaying grass. (ADWD Dany X)
In her first rebirth, Dany dies on the “Dothraki sea” and is “reborn in blood and fire.” She becomes the Mother of Dragons, the “dragon queen,” the “true Targaryen”. In her second rebirth, Dany metaphysically dies and is reborn on the Dothraki Sea yet again, and reclaims “fire and blood,” her house’s words. She “remembers [who she is.]” She will become the Stallion who Mounts the World and unite the Dothraki into one horde after her second rebirth.
Rebirth, death, and life are intertwined in ASOIAF. The cycle of life is indeed an important theme in the series. Thus at the end of both of her marriages, Dany is reborn while she miscarries her children:
She could feel the heat inside her, a terrible burning in her womb. Her son was tall and proud, with Drogo’s copper skin and her own silver-gold hair, violet eyes shaped like almonds. And he smiled for her and began to lift his hand toward hers, but when he opened his mouth the fire poured out. (AGOT Dany IX)
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As she splashed her face, she saw fresh blood on her thighs. The ragged hem of her undertunic was stained with it. The sight of so much red frightened her. Moon blood, it’s only my moon blood, but she did not remember ever having such a heavy flow. Could it be the water? If it was the water, she was doomed. She had to drink or die of thirst. (ADWD Dany X)
The important thing to note with both miscarriages is that Dany hatches her dragons the first time and Dany is with Drogon the second time. The development from the first to the second miscarriage showcases that Dany is no longer alone.
We can also note that both Drogon and Hizdahr show up in Dany’s prophecies given to her by the House of the Undying:
[T]hree mounts must you ride … one to bed and one to dread and one to love … The voices were growing louder, she realized, and it seemed her heart was slowing, and even her breath… . three treasons will you know … once for blood and once for gold and once for love …
“I don’t …” Her voice was no more than a whisper, almost as faint as theirs. What was happening to her? “I don’t understand,” she said, more loudly. Why was it so hard to talk here? “Help me. Show me.”
… help her … the whispers mocked… . show her …
Then phantoms shivered through the murk, images in indigo. Viserys screamed as the molten gold ran down his cheeks and filled his mouth. A tall lord with copper skin and silver-gold hair stood beneath the banner of a fiery stallion, a burning city behind him. Rubies flew like drops of blood from the chest of a dying prince, and he sank to his knees in the water and with his last breath murmured a woman’s name… . mother of dragons, daughter of death … Glowing like sunset, a red sword was raised in the hand of a blue-eyed king who cast no shadow. A cloth dragon swayed on poles amidst a cheering crowd. From a smoking tower, a great stone beast took wing, breathing shadow fire… . mother of dragons, slayer of lies … Her silver was trotting through the grass, to a darkling stream beneath a sea of stars. A corpse stood at the prow of a ship, eyes bright in his dead face, grey lips smiling sadly. A blue flower grew from a chink in a wall of ice, and filled the air with sweetness… . mother of dragons, bride of fire … (ACOK Dany IV)
Drogo appears in Dany’s mount to bed prophecy and her Bride of Fire prophecy. Hizdahr also appears in Dany’s Bride of Fire prophecy. Notice that her Bride of Fire prophecy is specifically about Dany’s marriages.
The point of establishing these parallels between Dany’s marriages to Drogo and Hizdahr is to highlight two things: that she did not have real power in those marriages, and that no peace would ever be real while she’s married to them. Both marriages end with immense violence and upheaval. Both marriages force Dany into a moral quagmire and render her physically and geographically isolated by the end. Both marriages end with a miscarriage. Both marriages enslave Dany, sexually, spiritually, and politically. If the peace was real, then why would the main thing that secures the peace, her marriage to Hizdahr, essentially involve the same elements and end the same way as her marriage to Drogo? Why would it be so harmful for Dany and her people? For example, people often point out that Mirri hated Drogo, and rightfully so, with the consequence being that Mirri creates a situation that leads to Drogo’s death. Why do the same people who point this out ignore that Dany’s people hate Hizdahr and do not want her to marry Hizdahr?
That made Daenerys laugh, coming from a girl so small. She relied so much on the little scribe that she oft forgot that Missandei had only turned eleven. They shared the food together on her terrace. As Dany nibbled on an olive, the Naathi girl gazed at her with eyes like molten gold and said, “It is not too late to tell them that you have decided not to wed.”
It is, though, the queen thought, sadly. “Hizdahr’s blood is ancient and noble. Our joining will join my freedmen to his people. When we become as one, so will our city.”
“Your Grace does not love the noble Hizdahr. This one thinks you would sooner have another for your husband.” (ADWD Dany VII)
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She had taken a Meereenese slaver as her king, as wealthy as he was noble, and when the peace was signed and sealed the fighting pits of Meereen would open once again. Other slaves insisted that the guards were lying, that Daenerys Targaryen would never make peace with slavers. Mhysa, they called her. Someone told him that meant Mother. Soon the silver queen would come forth from her city, smash the Yunkai'i, and break their chains, they whispered to one another. (ADWD Tyrion X)
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“Is it true?” a freedwoman shouted. “Is our mother dead?”
“No, no, no,” Reznak screeched. “Queen Daenerys will return to Meereen in her own time in all her might and majesty. Until such time, His Worship King Hizdahr shall—”
“He is no king of mine,” a freedman yelled. (ADWD The Discarded Knight)
Missandei does not want Dany to marry Hizdahr and notices that she doesn’t love her (the fact that Missandei, at the tender age of ten, can observe that speaks to her love for Dany, her suspicion of Hizdahr, and her perception and intelligence all at once). The slaves Tyrion meet refuse to believe that Dany would ever marry a slaver, make peace with slavers, or re-open the fighting pits. The freedmen are worried that Dany is dead after she flys off on Drogon’s back and refuse to accept Hizdahr as their king.
If we can accept that Drogo is a bad person in large part through how someone other than Dany views him, then we should be able to accept that Hizdahr is a bad person through how the slaves view him, especially given that we get their opinions on Hizdahr through Tyrion and Barristan’s viewpoints (and thus you can’t accuse their opinions of being “tainted” by Dany’s allegedly “biased” POV). Drogo enslaves Mirri and destroys her village. Hizdahr purchases all the shares of Daznak’s Pit after Dany closes the pit and forces slaves to fight in the pit, on top of continuing to have sex with bedslaves and brokering a peace that allows for the reinstatement of slavery outside of Meereen. They are BOTH slavers. They are BOTH rapists. If you are against Drogo, then you should be against Hizdahr.
GRRM typically portrays weddings as destructive affairs because he is trying to make a point about corruption, patriarchy, and feudalism. This is especially evident with both of Dany’s marriages. The peace is not real because the marriage it’s built upon is harmful for both Dany and her people.