If Lyanna and Duncan are spoiled and selfish for refusing an arranged marriage according to fandom, then Lyonel and Robert Baratheon are entitled pricks for throwing a tantrum by starting wars that get innocent civilians killed instead of accepting the betrothal refusals and moving on with their lives.
No one ever talks about Robert not accepting the fact that Lyanna didn’t want to be near him for some reason 🤷🏻♀️ I love how Duncan, Shaera, Jaehaerys and Lyanna are slandered for not supporting status quo and refusing to do their “duties” thus keeping the system alive and going when GRRM has been praising the characters who keep changing that system and going against it.
The "poor Ladies Vs disobedient Ladies" is a nauseatingly rolling carnival where they run over any woman who didn't do what papa said, and then come back to cry over their poor misfortunes when they do. If Naerys/Rhaella would have run off and trouble followed, they would've been crucified.
It's all lovely to just say a vague "They deserved better :/" but if that better wouldn't have come in a neat box of socially approved and duty bound somehow landing in their lap by coincidence and they actually had agency, the words "selfish" and "whore" wouldn't leave their mouths.