aeolianblues

I didn’t know how to word this, but this person said it perfectly

It’s really strange (and annoying) seeing people sort of outright deny much of the lyrics on BHWA are about Taylor… I guess because they’re too raw for them?? The Atlantic article confirmed Hearing Voices is entirely about him yet I still see people straight up being like “no way”. Same with The Glass, or the title track… with Rest, it’s bizarre to me the way people think it’s either black or white and that it can’t possibly be about both losses woven together. I’ve also seen Nothing At All referred to as “too sexy to be about grief” which genuinely boggled my mind. Lmfao like what??

God forbid a man express his love in such a way for his best friend who also happens to be a man. FFS I can’t even fathom how maddening it must be to have to deal with people digging into your every lyric and being certain they know what you meant even though they’re way off, plastering it all over the internet, and all of the other total bullshit speculation & cruel comments…on top of the grief. This is the kind of shit that drives some musicians literally fucking insane and they’re not even dealing with loss. Dave Grohl is an incredibly strong spirit.

People need to realize that you can absolutely, completely, and wholly love someone without it being a sexual thing. You can be in love with your friends without being romantically in love with them.

Dave Grohl had always struck me as someone who is aware of this fact, and has always been completely comfortable and confident with his own masculinity and his expression of it.

He absolutely loved Taylor, and I am glad that he is not shying away from it, and that he is dealing with his grief in a mature and honest way instead of hiding behind some weird and toxic idea about how men *should* grieve. Grief is one of the absolute worst feelings in the world, but shying away from it or attempting to suppress it does nothing good. You *have* to let yourself feel it, and you have to let yourself feel it authentically. It is the *only* way to get through it.

Dave did not spend years telling us Taylor is his soulmate/twin flame/love of his life/doesn't he look cute in those pants for some randos to go all toxic masculinity on him now.

I found this interesting in regards to the recent article that said people assumed Virginia's songs were actually about Taylor because I've seen more of the opposite? People thought certain lyrics couldn't possibly be about Taylor, for reasons mentioned above.

Agreed. I don't know exactly what their relationship was or wasn't (and it's not my business), but I know that they absolutely adored each other. They were best friends for over 25 years, and being best friends with someone you're in a band with is different than being best friends with someone you work with in an office - you pretty much live with people when you're touring with, and they probably saw each other at their absolute worst as well as their best. They probably knew each other better than anyone else on the planet except their spouses. Of course Dave is going to be really, really affected by losing him.

Given this, their long history, their flirty jokes, their openess about how much they loved each other, and Dave's seeming general comfort with himself as a person, I'm not surprised some of the songs come across as love songs, because that's what they are. I guess some people are so weird out by just the possibility of anything not cishet that they would rather he be calling his mother "my love" instead of his friend.

I kind of see the first half of the album as being for Taylor, and the second half for Virginia. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I'm seeing.

Couldn’t have said it any better than you two did, and I agree @little-exhausted I see more of the opposite as well - people just completely brushing Taylor off like none of the record is about him at all. I took that Atlantic article with a grain of salt as I do all press though - maybe I’m a little jaded but just the whole “he’s my friend, but he didn’t want to do press, he wanted the music to speak for itself, but here I am speaking for him” thing rubbed me the wrong way a little bit.

I literally laughed out loud. RIGHT?! I would feel stupid blatantly ignoring reality like that. If that sort of thing bothers people I have no idea why they even listen to this band, like let’s just throw away the fact that Hearing Voices is not the first time he’s referred to Taylor as “my love” + Dave would introduce him as “the love of my life” at almost every frigging show for years… and much more… I’m like, y’all should be in the Olympics cos those mental gymnastics are impressive 🤦🏻‍♀️

I never really thought about it being as half/half about them but that is an interesting interpretation. Initially I thought the first verse of Show Me How was about T but Dave said the whole song is about Virginia. My interpretation was that I thought certain songs are 100% about Taylor, certain songs are 100% about Virginia, I think Rescued & Nothing At All are a little more personal to him in dealing with grief (I definitely don’t think Nothing At All is “sexy” like some people were saying lmfao) and I think other songs are more like both of them woven together in a way, Rest being the biggest one that can apply to both losses - when I heard the “in the warm Virginia sun, there I will meet you” I thought of that as his idea of Heaven (cos he’s said VA = his happy place) and meeting both of them. Beyond Me I felt might be about both of them but I think he’s definitely referencing Taylor with “forever young and free” (50 is so young) 💔

I even noticed though in The Teacher, he borrows from one of Taylor’s songs (3:01 here & 3:41 in The Teacher is practically the same exact song, plus the overall song structure of these 2 is quite similar), then in the music video there’s that clip where the band is physically moving him forward and they are floating through a hotel hallway… Which, again, given all of that, it’s so weird how people are just brushing Taylor’s impact off.

I normally wouldn’t let it bug me but these people are getting the top comments & crap which boggles my mind. And on top of that it just doesn’t even make any sense. Like, I’m sorry but I don’t think Dave “gave his heart” to his mom, or referring to his mom when saying “I had a person I loved and I was left to live without HIM” lol, it’s just really bizarre.

Another really weird thing I’ve been seeing is people trying to take Taylor’s lyrics from his solo projects - including songs that he literally said are about marriage struggles - and they’re like “this is clearly about him trying to get away from Dave!” I just saw it on an NHC video the other day. I’m not claiming to know what he was going on in his head cos there are some heartbreaking lyrics from that time period… but it sort of goes back to the whole infantilizing of him like as if he couldn’t speak up to Dave which was put out there by the press. Meanwhile there are countless examples of Taylor speaking up for himself or speaking up to/correcting Dave in videos/articles/interviews, I just read one where Dave was trying a new arrangement in one of the songs and Taylor goes “I think it fucking sucks” and so they abandoned it lol. That’s not someone afraid to speak up, or someone that gets ignored.

It’s just fucking bizarre to me how people are trying to erase their entire history together, or ignore it, or claim they faked it all for show (which doesn’t even make any sense). 💔

I can kind of see where they might think Nothing At All is sexy ("you left your hat on my bed," "maybe I'm insatiable," "wouldn't it be dangerous if nothing was restraining us"), but I also think it's ridiculous to immediately jump to sexy thoughts there, given that the song seems to be about holding on to momentos and trying to strike a balance between grieving and moving on (a running theme in the entire album), and Dave has always kept his lyrics somewhat vague on purpose throughout his career so that people can find their own meaning in them.

I agree that some songs are about both, even if one song is "more" about one person than the other. One of the problems with grief is that when multiple bad things happen close together, your grief for them bleeds together, too, and it can be hard to separate them.

Also, I agree that the infantilization of anyone is gross and insulting, including that of Taylor. He was a great, kind-hearted guy, but he was also a mischievous little shit (I say this with the utmost affection). Dave said early on that they were the two guys in the band who would be the first to fight (but also the first to kiss, lol). They were just two people on the same wavelength who were lucky enough to find each other - when you have someone who shares your wavelength, it is a lot easier to resolve disagreements. It doesn't mean that one person is oppressing the other. I don't think anyone who is making these claims has ever been fortunate enough in their adulthood to have a friend that they just click with like that.

Honestly, I think some people have just decided they hate Dave for whatever reason, so they'll say whatever will justify their dislike. I have a fringe theory that some of them are upset that he dared to form a band and have a successful career after Kurt died, and that he is continuing to make music after Taylor died. People have a weird idea of how it is "appropriate" to grieve, especially for men, that includes locking yourself away for a set amount of time, and keeping it to yourself. It's a holdover from the Victorians, I think. In reality, people grieve in a lot of different ways, and creative people use their creativity as an outlet to channel it. It's absurd to expect them to stop, simply because it makes you personally uncomfortable.

Sorry I write a novel each time I respond to this post. I have been listening to the album a lot this week, and have a lot of feelings about it - not just because I am sad for Dave and the band, but because it has been cathartic in dealing with my own losses and grief. I think it is a raw, honest masterpiece about the most difficult of human emotions.