Editing a live session for tomorrow morning right now, I'm having a very strange, helpless, ephemeral feeling. How do I describe it. I'm editing these songs together that are really good: good exploration of sentiments, chord choices and choruses that really underline and capture nostalgia, carefree youth, whatnot; all these wonderful songs that I'd love to tell you all about, shout from the rooftops and tell you all to listen to.
I can't. I can't tell you to listen to them. I can't link a public Spotify or Bandcamp or YouTube. You can't share in these experiences, as much as I want you to. They don't exist.
It's surreal to me. I'm walking around with the demos no one else will hear, the EPs that aren't yet released, the songs that haven't been recorded yet because the bands in question are so young in their careers that they haven't considered studio time yet. The beautiful songs that no one will hear because the band will scrap them on deciding they have better songs and won't waste their studio time on something they aren't 100% happy with, no matter that five people out there like it. The songs that will change before they make it onto the record. The songs no one will hear because one member graduated and the band fell apart. All these little, local things that will have a profound effect on me for a week, for a year, but will only exist in my own cultural worldview.
I suppose what I'm trying to say, a little ashamedly, is that it's so different being in a music scene from the creative standpoint rather than a consumptive one. Where things are in your hands. Where things will exist for posterity if your friends decide they want to make a proper recording. Where things are so DIY that I can't send you a YouTube or Spotify link to add to your Faves playlist. Where things are so DIY that I've got to get a band in for a radio session, record and mix them myself if I want to hear their work again.
And regardless, I'm a bit sad and frustrated that no one else might get the chance to know these bands, to share these cultural touchpoints with me, because a band may not last long enough for anyone outside a uni scene, a city, a province, to know about them.
The ephemerality strikes me. DIY, so good, yet so lonely! I suppose I could at some point just get into old school uploading mp3s, though I do also give myself away on the internet with how niche some of these things are.... I wish I could show you all my cool local bands without falling into the ridiculed trope of 'local band you've never and will never hear of' person. Just let me enthuse over a golden era of local music I seem to have walked myself into.