“I’m the first child of five; when I was first born my mother was in her late twenties, and she’s devoted so much energy and love to me that I was kind of given every opportunity. The foundation of love and understanding between us allowed me to be a fearless person; I felt invincible because she convinced me that there’s nothing to be scared of. And the most important thing for my mother, I know, is the engagement with me and with all of her kids. She watched these lives come out of little tiny babies, and she developed the closest possible relationship with these humans; as we drift off and become our own people, the most important thing for her is that we maintain that closeness. I could do anything, fly her around the world, buy her a house, if I wasn’t present for her, emotionally, none of it would matter. All of us in the band have been taking steps in the last year or two, to rebuild that part of our lives, because the initial part of the Half Moon Run project involved a lot of sacrifice. Of almost everything. We all dropped out of school, quit our job, lost our personal relationships with our friends, had no money for a long, long time. And that was all necessary sacrifice in those days, and then it came to a point where you have to draw a line, you have to build these things back up or else you won’t have anything to give. I was so afraid of it, and I feel a sadness about growing older because I’m never gonna be as close with my brothers as I was when we were on our camping trip fifteen years ago. You try to, and you try to remember those things, but it’s never gonna be quite the same. I look forward to having my own family and repeating the process.”
“We were starting to feel more and more upset about things more easily, our emotions were less controllable, we were showing signs of just being unhealthy. We were overworked, we were traveling way too much, we were drinking way too much, and all led to just… We were scrambled, frankly we were scrambled. It’s so tame compared to that rock star shit you hear about from the 70’s, where people are out of control, it wasn’t like that. We were living unhealthy, but it was still fixable, and we just realigned our priorities. I think my family all understood when I moved to Montreal, five or six years ago, that I was going off and I was doing my thing; and they all supported me. They never felt like I was abandoning them, but then it became clear through instinct that a time came when I needed to put more energy, and to be more present and available for them. And you know, they came here for Osheaga, and stayed in my apartment, and it was all wonderful.”
“When we hit rock bottom we were recording the first album. At least there was still the album we were making, and I could see that was a goal. But take that away, and I had no hope. But I still had hope so I didn’t quite reach the depth of total despair, feeling completely depressed. I’ve never really felt that to be honest, I would say that I have a pretty good capacity for joy; I’m naturally quite a happy person, and that’s lucky. But there was a time when we were making the record… we had no fans at the time, and I’d work in a pizza place first thing in the morning, and then we would record all day, and it went on for months and months. And I never had any money, I had like negative money, and then I came home one day and found there were bed bugs in my house. I got so stressed out my arms tensed up, and I was physically falling apart, drinking a lot, and I just felt total despair. And it was the depth of winter! But I still had hope for the record, and it’s not a pity story because everything worked out so well, and we had to go through that.”
—Conner Molander of Montreal indie rock band Half Moon Run, on the struggles and sacrifices that music and touring bring, to Portraits Of Montréal