aeolianblues

I can confidently say that there is not one person for whom [insert field of study] is "not made", there are simply people who a system left behind by making understandable things seem confusing, refusing to explain terminology, refusing or making access to accommodations limited and difficult, to the point where the person gives up and begins a self-perpetuating cycle of "this isn't for me".

I think about my own field of computer science often. It's numbers and sand doing what you want it to do, there are no inherent mysteries to it because *we*, people, made them. But you regularly have people dropping out of the field because it appears hard, confusing and strenuous. (However, long hours and strain in CS is a separate topic we'll touch upon another day. I suspect it's not unique to computer science though)

It may not necessarily be true, but it's so easy for it to feel that way!

Someone will use the word 'token', and instantly, the last sentence spoken just lost half its meaning to you.

There's a difference between thinking about a problem, and thinking about a problem in the way a computer would. Maybe you prefer to work things out the human way and then translate that into machine thinking. Maybe that takes you a little time! Mental block is an actual, studied phenomenon in psychology. Maybe you've been looking at a problem in one way for so long that you're simply unable to think of it in a different way. Maybe you're someone who likes to learn and then do. Maybe you like to do and then learn.

There are so many different ways to approach a problem, and so many different styles and preferences. But sometimes your method takes a bit more time, and no one accounts for that. You feel like you're racing against time and everything is stacked against you.

Sometimes there are things that just Do Not Make Sense to you. Pointers need you to concentrate hard! Files and streams suck! We all know they do. Sometimes you just need someone to explain it in a non-computer way.

There are people you can reach out to that you might not even be aware of. Universities don't always make it very obvious or sometimes, even easy, to access resources. (They exist! The other side of it all is that you'd have an empty room at office hours, TAs seeing maybe 3 students in their entire session, just a lot of resources that are available, somehow not talked about enough, just sitting there idle)

All of this is a long way of saying: A C C O M M O D A T I O N S ! !

They aren't talked about enough or used enough.

Fields aren't not made for you, you aren't "not up to it", you aren't "not smart enough". They aren't accommodating your needs, and they aren't making themselves accessible or reachable enough for you to ask for the accommodations that are already in place.

My best advice? Ask for them! Send that email, contact those TAs, go to those office hours, find a study friend, talk to someone sat next to you in class.

Most of all, don't be embarrassed of asking questions. You don't appear dumb. You are there to learn! Many (most!) professors are glad to have questions, because it means you're thinking about what they're teaching you. If you feel like a question would take too long to answer during class, stay back for a bit after class and ask it separately, or if you prefer, write an email. Ask to set up an appointment. (It's enough to just go, "hi, in your lecture today you went over [x topic] and I still have a few questions about it and want to understand it better. Could I meet you at your office hours or set up an appointment to go over this?" Most of them will say yes! Some might direct you to TAs. Send them the same email, they're usually picked because they know the stuff they're hired to teach. They're literally paid for exactly this too!) There are often relevant groups, workshops, clubs etc. pertaining to these areas as well, many of them will have drop in sessions, look out for those.

Most of all I'd re-iterate, don't be embarrassed. Train yourself to think this way if it helps you, but every time you feel that hot flush coming up your face as you think of asking a question (I know I have had it...), remind yourself, you're HERE to learn! This is new stuff! Your brain is literally forming new connections as you think. You're processing new information. You're growing. If you have a question, if you have a doubt, you're doing what you were intended to do. You're interacting with your new knowledge, and you're growing!

Don't be afraid to ask for something you need (or even 'would prefer'), and remember that nothing is inherently 'not made for you'! That would be an inherently ableist mindset.

Oh hey it’s March, midterm season, and finals are round the corner. I figured this should pop up on your dashes again.

Open book tests and the existence of Google are not helping