can anyone tell me if this is good or not. if this sort of thing is frowned upon i will stop immediately
adriles reblogged
after another day of getting Owned by #trojans and getting yelled at by #commanders nothing beats coming home to patroclus and playing lyre
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
machaeon
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
go ahead. keep screaming at me to get back to battle. it only makes me want to sit in my tent More
#im sorry to all who saw this as i planned it. i needed to finish the post so i could then die#dont ask why i hoarded almost all of the catalogue of ships#there are many reasons#and i will not disclose them#anyways. here’s this monstrosity#here is to the many more that shall come#the iliad#tagamemnon#greatest hits#prothous#leontes#prothoenor#clonius#ialmenus#elephenor#menestheus#agapenor#amphimachus#thalpius#pheidippus#guneus#antiphus#podarces#polypoetes#odysseus#machaon#patroclus#favorite#catalogue of ships
boy oh boy do i love fighting the trojans and dying a noble death on the field of battle for immortal glory and prestige. wait a minute... lording over the withered dead fucking sucks. hubris is no good..!! Fuck !!!
waiting the customary 20 minutes after priam kisses my hands and begs for his son’s body before telling him he looks like my Dad
i’m a responsible achaean commander. i let my 11 year old son commit war crimes
ill never leave the myrmidon troops outbthere. its the responsibility of the commander to pull my God damn army out of battle when i want and if agamemnon is mad so be it
the secret – to becoming the best war boy – is that you have to be able to name every god on mount olympus while having spears thrown at you
HADES: 9 years into the war you called Agamemnon the “commander of trash”. hope the laughs of 34 soldiers were worth it idiot
ME: They were bitch
im the guy who ruined Agamemnon’s reputation by saying he sucked, and im ruining The whole house of Atreus too by saying the family is rife with incest
it has recently occurred to me that i am being forced to fight until i die. the people i trust have known of my sealed fate for years. what kind of bull shit
I stumbble in, soaked in blood&demand wine. I hurl slurs at the argivejokes who “deny wine” until they tackle me to the ground. Im absolutely fucked,
see this spear? i got it by Crying. my chariot? crying. my beautiful horses? Crying. My perfect teeth? Crying. now get the fuck out of my tent
trojans Give mme my fucking armor you cock sucking rats. I deserve at least 4 pieces back for not mocking your nauseating animal fodder
and another thing: im not mad anymore. please dont put in the epics that i got mad.its embarrassing &noone should know
im the guy who originally got a commissioned piece of armor from Hephaestus . thats my bit. im just saying it out in the open here & now. trojans be damned
ME: was thinkin about how I could incorporate the phrase “Agamemnon sucks” into my next speech. Thoughts?
PATROCLUS: its solid gold baby. Killer