enjoying the delicious chine of a great hog, rich with fat, with the warlords i love more than most

me: I've always wanted to see a brave and mighty warrior realize that death is upon him. resolute, despite his doom, knowing his life will echo in the words of men for ages yet to come

Wise king odysseus: Welcome to War my friend . you will regret that

From my will: No funeral. Instead host a debate between some of the guys i know for ownership of my stuff, sowing hatred and distrust between them. as a bit

Can’t wait to die and drop quotes on my fellow war boys in erebus like “I’d rather live on earth and serve another, as a poor man whose livelihood was but small, rather than to lord over all the dead that have perished. ” and then fade into the darkness

after our glorious deaths, my war boys and i will stand side by side in erebus . in our armour stained with blood we will display our wounds from bronze-tipped spears. and we will be looking sexy as fuck

i tire of ceaseless battle with our enemies. i tire of not profiting off my sufferings and enduring the bloodstained day for the sake of other warrior’s women. im over it. if you want me to help save the fleet from a fiery death then suck me

(You approach the myrmidon huts and ships, where I am draped luxuriously in expectation, delighting in the clear-toned lyre) Hey brother. You want to come over and enjoy some hog?

tomorrow i will perform sacrifices to Zeus and the other gods and then launch ALL OF MY SHIPS to return again to the teeming hellespont...maybe then people will wish they appreciated the treasures i won them while risking my life in ceaseless combat more often instead of sucking agamemnon’s dick all day

if feasting is not what will occupy youu , why did you all just stand in silence as i set out sheep and goat and the chine of a great fat hog for the past 40 minutes. why dont yoy just tell me you need me back in battle out the jump

mmy lovely evening of joyfully singing the deeds of mighty warriors in my hut , suddenly interrupted by danaan envoys. time to bring out the boys meal

Thinking that my mind will never be swayed by shows of grief, unlike some other people

everyone i seem to invite over for a meal foresees sorrow and feels great fear of death.for once will someone just eat the fucking food? no?

Looks like the trojans are fighting well again, and the warrior kings fear they are fated to die at troy far from the horse pastures of argos. Im not mad or anything I just think its funny. But i am pissed off by it

my day as a powerful warrior consists of the danaan warrior kings trying to goad me out my hut with promises of riches and land so that i wont just sit in there & jack off isntead of aiding their men in battle

I’m in the army and not still in the court of skyros because when I was hidden there odysseus asked me “True Or False: War crimes are always good” and I said true

when this war is over the other achaean warlords will need to find something else to do. like get lost at sea and have wacky hijinks or have their wives attack them. good thing i wont have to do that . this thing will just kill me.

what if i died on the battlefield right now. WOuld my fellow warlords care? No. Would they immediately fight over my armor? Yes