if the danaans want this war to end sooner, heres my idea: have another warrior king’s wife be abducted by a trojan prince
sad to see people continuing to fight in this war for no reason other than returning helen to her native land and securing trade routes. couldnt be me. i refuse to return to the field of battle unless it is to Avenge a grievous loss
when i die, i want my body buried beneath a shady plane-tree so i can have people carve into the trunk to revere me and my marriage after they shove me into the earth
Whats great is I can sit on a finely wrought chair & tell 100 anecdotes about my life in besieged troy, and my husband holds no grudge against me because he is a good man whorespects me also because i mix the best wine
Not everyone is too happy with the aftermath of war, but I'll tell you one thing for sure, its good to again be in sparta and happy for the rest of my days
i guess i dont have to tell you, but this whole my daughter marrying neoptolemus thing is a bust. he was just killed by orestes in a temple in delphi. all of the shit that happens in this cursed house is so tragic
telemachus son of odysseus i give you my most valuable gift — custom richly embroidered robe that says "marriage girl" on it for your dear mother to store for your future bride
#odyssey#telemachus#helen#penelope#and#odysseus#because he is mentioned lol#and cant forget#menelaus#Megapenthes#because menelaus has him fetch that mixing bowl to give him too in book 15#and also hands him a two handed cup? that could just be for him to drink from before he leaves#but it seems like it is one of the other gifts there too#april fools#greatest hits
alcohol is a drug, wine is alcohol, and drugs are a form of wine
may the drugs i slip into the wine we drink tomorrow soothe my husband and his companions’ minds of the horrors of war, calm all pains and troubles, and bring forgetfulness of all unbearable fucking agony
me and my husband are doing some "Drugs" tonight. only the sons and brothers of lost war heroes are invited
i detect that one of the mystery men in my home is telemachus from his tears for his father and the likeness in the cast of their eyes, and quickly turn to question my husband. i weep as i remember the sufferings of war
looking to spice up my daughter’s upcoming marriage by celebrating her wedding to neoptolemus and having myself and my husband not know my father had arranged to have her marry orestes
my sister is a woman driven by grief. as her husband lay down in the bath she threw a net on him while her weird incest boyfriend lay into him with an axe. the house curse now lays on her shoulders. all menelaus and i now have to worry about is our daughter and our nice new drinking cups
everybody has a concrete identity except me. sorry . im just a concept
should go without saying but, if my spectral self arrives on the egyptian shore with the spartan contingent i will postpone revealing my true self to my husband until he enters a tomb, to avoid any confusion.
it’s ok. i’m a woman and i’m the concept of a woman and i’m the absence of a woman at the same time
gods will not permit me to live in sparta OR bear witness to a war fought in my name. where am i supposed to go then? fucking EGYPT???