star wars yeeteth, and star wars yoinketh away

Hmm by the way if you cannot think of a single descriptor for Mace Windu other than "intimidating" or "scary" or "imposing" that is a you problem.

Stop projecting it on Temple younglings and characters who are friends with him. Try instead:

Hell at this point I would take "tall" or "a Jedi."

And also, this isn't even just about being positive. Even if you really dislike Mace Windu, want to criticize him, whatever, you should be able to describe him as something other than "intimidating." Otherwise I am forced to believe that you simply have nothing other than a caricature of him in your head. A bad one

Screw all current projects and also good storytelling. I want a star wars media where characters spend like 10 episodes getting engrossed in some wild epic problems they are trying to solve and when it all is going downhill in the last like half hour of episode 10 and you’re thinking it’s about to be the worst tragedy ever, a Jedi shows up. Just some random ass Jedi. Not from out central cast and not from the council. Just some knight barely done being a Padawan. They show up and within 15 minutes solve the entire problem and that’s it. That’s the end of the show. Jedi shows up solves all the problems. No more narrative tension, no grand resolution for the other characters. No angst and certainly no tragedy. They just watch while thd Jedi performs a miracle in ten minutes. C’est fini.

They’d call it bad storytelling. And they’d be right but I would’ve made my rhetorical point so who’s really winning here

Having watched none of the recent Star Wars media, I would like to assert that maybe doing some abjectly wacky experimental avant guarde (or whatever) storytelling like this (regardless of the specific idea) would do the current official Star Wars creators a lot of good. This will not happen because wacky is risky and risky is less money and Disney is more money.

But it would be cool wouldn’t it

Corollary to this:

Show set up like a political drama about Mas Amedda's political career and how he became Vice Chancellor, but the answer every single episode is quite simply nepotism or cronyism. There is no real intrigue or scheming involved; he's not even special in Palpatine's administration. Every time the viewer thinks there's going to be narrative tension, it gets undercut with someone just letting him have what he wants. Also there are no real stakes for Mas Amedda. If his political career crashes and burns he gives no fucks he'll just work for his family's company.

Every episode ends with a different group of actual working people being harmed and dying from loosened safety regulations or poison in their workplaces. Whether this is a proper B plot or whether it's just a like a scroll of cold, boring, statistics like how you get text at the end of documentaries is up in the air.

They'd say it was a depressing and pointless show, and I'd have made my rhetorical point.

obscure concern for the day is "who was the source of HeLa cells in the star wars universe and were their cells stolen too?"

apparently only two of you understand me. what I mean is

Hey have we considered that the reason that one guy in the Prequels was really chill about offering some Jedi death sticks isn't some massive conspiracy that the Jedi are all doing massive amounts of drugs, or even that he didn't realize they were Jedi, but instead that arresting people for non-violent drug offenses is fucking evil and the Jedi aren't cops? And the people of Coruscant generally know that as long as they're not killing people the Jedi aren't actually interested in fucking them over?

In The Clone Wars season 2 episode 22 "Lethal Trackdown"-- written by George Lucas, Dave Filoni, and Drew Z. Greensburg -- we clearly see Jedi Master Plo Koon and Padawan Ahsoka Tano use the Force to evade paying the public transit fare on Coruscant -- after checking to make sure that the transit droid isn't going to catch them. There's no plot reason for them to skip the fare, they just do it out of seemingly habit.

The Jedi do not give a fuck about non-violent crimes against the state -- they are actively committing those crimes themselves.

Deathstick dealers get mind-trick-rehab as a harm reduction tool.

I want to emphasize that not only is there no plot-driven reason for them to jump the fare, but that neither of them even discuss what they're about to do. No patting themselves down for passes or change.

The equivalent of an Arch Bishop and a Novitiate Nun just decided to commit "crimes" together without hesitation.

Plo Koon doesn't even question if Ahsoka knows what to do! Force Fare Evasion 101 is obviously an Initiate-level class.

Do you see my vision -- tiny precious Jedi initiates who are made of goodness and light, and are also the bane of their creche-masters and the local public transit authority. The children yearn for the rails. Nothing can stop them from what they crave.

I see the vision. It's spectacular

Screw all current projects and also good storytelling. I want a star wars media where characters spend like 10 episodes getting engrossed in some wild epic problems they are trying to solve and when it all is going downhill in the last like half hour of episode 10 and you’re thinking it’s about to be the worst tragedy ever, a Jedi shows up. Just some random ass Jedi. Not from out central cast and not from the council. Just some knight barely done being a Padawan. They show up and within 15 minutes solve the entire problem and that’s it. That’s the end of the show. Jedi shows up solves all the problems. No more narrative tension, no grand resolution for the other characters. No angst and certainly no tragedy. They just watch while thd Jedi performs a miracle in ten minutes. C’est fini.

They’d call it bad storytelling. And they’d be right but I would’ve made my rhetorical point so who’s really winning here

Having watched none of the recent Star Wars media, I would like to assert that maybe doing some abjectly wacky experimental avant guarde (or whatever) storytelling like this (regardless of the specific idea) would do the current official Star Wars creators a lot of good. This will not happen because wacky is risky and risky is less money and Disney is more money.

But it would be cool wouldn’t it

An entity called Fox News exists in Star Wars but it’s just a segment of the Coruscant Guard’s local radio station run by a couple of shiny troopers (they rotate in new ones from Kamino/other battalions to keep them fresh) who stalk Commander Fox on his daily activities (he knows: could these shiny’s get any more obvious?!), and then narrate them to the rest of the guard in their 20 minute segment

#commander fox#i wonder if they have fox cam

it looks a lot like this, when he's sizing people up and imagining he's allowed to fight them:

[ID: gif of an actual fox standing on deep snow, tilting its head to listen for prey under the snow. End ID]

It's always "the Jedi failed at this," "Anakin should've done that," and never "Darth Sidious is so good at his job, he deserves to get Sith Lord of the month."

Now you are ready for my original draft for the post

“It’s always “the Jedi failed at this”, and “the Jedi should’ve done that,” and never, “Darth Sidious is so good at his job, he should get Sith Lord of the month.”

(The spirit of the post was always “please stop ignoring that Sidious exists and engineered this situation on purpose” mayhaps keep weapons out of the tags if you please)

Realized I think I misinterpreted this tags and they may have been saying they wanted to defend Anakin with more force than just on the internet, not criticising my for mildly defending him in my funny post about “please acknowledge that Sidious was the only main character deliberately engineering the end of ROTS events” and hence were probably not ready for the original draft…

Hmm…

There’s a lesson here on the power of rereading i guess. Even if you’re fairly decent at reading comprehension nothing will help you like simply giving it a couple hours and going back. Life is full of things that need to be revisited to be understood. Current events not withstanding.

Anyway

It's always "the Jedi failed at this," "Anakin should've done that," and never "Darth Sidious is so good at his job, he deserves to get Sith Lord of the month."

Now you are ready for my original draft for the post

“It’s always “the Jedi failed at this”, and “the Jedi should’ve done that,” and never, “Darth Sidious is so good at his job, he should get Sith Lord of the month.”

(The spirit of the post was always “please stop ignoring that Sidious exists and engineered this situation on purpose” mayhaps keep weapons out of the tags if you please)

I’m so sorry we didn’t learn, George.

.

I think a lot of people missed the point that it’s really not that hard to kill Jedi. If you’ve got a private army, you can probably kill Jedi. If you’re a sith you can probably kill Jedi. If you’re a really well resourced bounty hunter you can probably kill a Jedi. Qui-gon and Obi-Wan parallel one another in getting killed, specifically to show the audience that Jedi can be killed, but death is not something a Jedi should fear. There is no death, there is the Force.

The magic of a Jedi does not come from invincibility—it comes from the lack of any true separation between ordinary happenings and miracles, which they understand, and we do not.

This is also why Yoda dies--to show us jedi are subject to all natural things. Sickness and old age, not just violence.