Someone in my fb chicken group has a little bearded bantam that likes to sit on shoulders so they did a pirate photoshoot and I am losing it

Just look at it!! THE LITTLE HAT!!!

@homeofhousechickens

I saw this the other day it was so cute 😭

@drchiropterajones !!!!!

It’s not often on this website that I go “wait, it’s NOT a painting?”

that one hot goth outside the diy venue smoking her menthols while u nervously try to remember how to talk to people

[tumblr] is a beautiful website where all kinds of people come to diversify their echolalia

My fucking cat has figured out how to gently dig his claws into my eyelid and pull my eyes open while I'm sleeping. He does this. It does not hurt. He is remarkably precise and gentle. I however am asleep when it happens and do not appreciate being clockwork oranged by a needy clingy goddamn animal who thinks he needs attention.

I would like to clarify that this animal self feeds and is not being denied breakfast by my sleeping in. He doesn't do this to anyone else. Everyone else simply gets increasingly invasive headbutts and even thats a fairly rare occurence. This fucking cat needs to cuddle with me specifically, And he is decided that the best way to do it is to gently shove his claws underneath my eyelashes and pull. There is no way I can train him out of this because believe it or not shoving your fingers in somebody's eyes to wake them up has the desired reaction.

We have come to a compromise. One that neatly illustrates the reason I'm not wearing an eyemask.

If I have a hair tie on my wrist, my darling sweet baby boy, love of my life and apple of my eye, can gingerly dig his teeth underneath and grab it in his mouth and then back up. and pull. And Snap the hell out of me with the elastic. Again, he is very gentle and precise, there are never teeth touching my skin. This is not a fluke, he managed this several times in various circumstances and positions.

This is worse than a toddler. We are approaching diabolical machinations hitherto undreamt of by domestic felines.

Behold, Prince Shithead himself.

Dorian used to do this! He would pry my eyelids open and then go "oh good, you're awake. I have demands"

Miss that bastard.

I literally cannot take anything lance armstrong says about trans people ever seriously for obvious reasons but also because there's a museum somewhat near my house in the scottish borders which is a museum to clan armstrong, who were famous border reivers, i.e. people who would go across the scottish-english border and dismember people for their cattle and whatnot + at this museum they have portraits of all of these famous armstrongs, most of whom spent their entire lives turning half the population of cumbria into mincemeat, up in a hall, from which only 1 person's portrait has been removed for poor conduct that shamed the family. can u guess whose

Feelings tonight

What is this? A crossover episode???

I fully understand why "character A is astounded at the sight of character B's penis" is a specific kink that gets tagged for, but the fact that some platforms choose to tag this kink as "penis awe" is unintentionally very funny. Now I'm picturing penis experience kink tags for all those other allegedly transcendent emotions in the glossary of your Philosophy 101 textbook. Penis faith. Penis Weltschmerz. Penis apprehension of the absurd.

The existence of penis awe must therefore imply its antagonistic opposite, cock ennui.

#ennuiner #if you will (tags via @blujayonthewing)

tumblr users not immune to weird guy in a river

some others i found in the notes

there are few things that make my skin want to invert itself like corny, try hard kitten/daddy “bdsm” language but i cant stop using it right now it’s like i got bit by some mediocre 20 something in an ill fitting suit and i am. changing

Likes to charge reblogs to FUCKING cast

Please for the love of god. You should be able to change controls WITHOUT TAKING YOUR EYES OF THE ROAD. There is no reason to have to look at a SCREEEN while DRIVING

I have a question about Star Wars.

The Star Wars universe has an alphabet. It looks like this.

It’s the alphabet for galactic basic, the common language of the Star Wars universe, whenever you see writing in the Star Wars universe it’s almost always this. And it’s not just our alphabet in a different writing, each of these characters has a distinct name. The equivalent of F isn’t called “F” it’s called “Forn.” The equivalent of N is called “Nern.” And so on and so on.

And this was fine, but then eventually someone asked “Hey where do droid names come from”

Because R2-D2 isn’t called “Reshtoo-Dorntoo,” he’s called “Artoo-Deetoo.” They are pronouncing letters from the Latin alphabet, which ostensibly doesn’t exist in this universe. And the question was kicked down the road a few times until finally someone at Lucasfilm went “UHHH there’s two alphabets. Yeah. There’s galactic basic and high galactic. Only used for uhhhhhhh royalty and droid names.” And then high galactic was just. The Latin alphabet.

And listen. I love this as an answer. I love that it’s a little bit of canon spackle to cover a plot hole that they easily could’ve ignored or done some hand wavy bullshit like “Oh the movies are translated to English from galactic basic so Luke would be saying ‘Dorntoo’ but we hear it as ‘Deetoo.’” I like that it’s a little bit clunky, that the wholeass Latin alphabet is a canonical part of this universe you’ve already made an alphabet for.

So I love this answer, and I don’t want to criticize it as an answer, but it raises a secondary question in my head that I’ve been wondering for a while now:

Does Luke, like. Know this is an alphabet

Luke grew up on a backwater planet, and if high galactic is only used for droid names and nobility, I think he’d assume that this is some kind of droid language where every character is a whole word, like a kanji system. I don’t think he parses that R2 means “series R, model 2,” I think he goes “Artoo yep that’s this droid’s legal government name. Boy Droid Language is such a beautiful language”

It's raining nonstop where I am so I'm just picturing the Batfam during a flood.

Red Robin uploads a TikTok from the safety of a roof saying "watch him go!" As Red Hood keeps trying to drive his bike against the current. A big wave comes by and he's slowly dragged downhill. The caption reads "don't drive during floods".

Batman and Robin are on the ground helping civilians out of cars when the intensity doubles and in minutes Damian goes from wading knee deep in the water to swimming. The emergency batfloaties get triggered and he floats away as Bruce fails to grab him by half an inch. "Robin serenely drifting in the current" becomes a meme.

Someone takes a picture of a very flustered spoiler trying to squeeze the water out of her cape. The second she lets go the weight of the water makes her fall ass over backwards. Black Bat ends up giving her her waterproof cape.

Signal makes mirages of sharks in the water to scare the shit out of any criminals. Oracle uploads the recordings with Benny hill as background music. Bludhaven escapes the worst of the storm and Nightwing sends pictures to the group chat patting the barely wet concrete just to rub it in. He still slips on a puddle and eats shit, Barbara sends that to the group chat.

help him