Batman: Wayne Family Adventures #26 - “TMI” (2022)

We have now entered the year when Bruce Wayne has retired as Batman.

bruce wayne was batman??????????

⛄️

There are plenty of night, probably the majority, where Bruce is 100% committed to the role of Batman. Just living and breathing the pursuit of justice and crashing through the skylight of the latest hideout and just snarling the villain-of-the-night’s name all “RIDDLER!”

But then there are nights where he’s just so fucking done. He’s still out there giving 110% but radiating exhaustion and exasperation the entire time. The villain’s waiting for his inevitable arrival, all the henchmen’s eyes trained on the windows and the roof, but instead Bruce just slams the door open one-handed, casually knocking out a henchman, and glowers wearily. “What the fuck, Ed?”

That’s hilarious, because how fast would it deflate the Riddler’s preening, over-inflated ego to have his great master plan and clever word play greeted with an exasperated “What the fuck, Ed?”

THIS ANNUAL IS KILLING ME!!!!

sometimes i still get tagged in those panels where batman opens up his ‘wonder woman contingency plan’ briefcase and the big reveal is that it’s empty, and like, setting aside my issue where i think all superheroes with super strength need to be paired off with people who have no powers but take no shit, all i can think about is the alternate version where DC never tried to make wonder woman less bdsm and her weakness is still getting tied up by men and the briefcase just has some fucking rope in there. just a fifty shades bondage kit from the adult bookstore. ‘wonder woman contingency plan: she’s into that weird shit’

This is not the worst thing I’ve ever made, but it’s close.

is this justice league unlimited

@minaminokyoko

“Jesus christ eat the goddamn mac and cheese.” scowls the hero “I can hear your stomach growling through your armor, you know.”

The villain blinks “You-”

“Are feeding you, yes. If all I wanted to do was punch people and throw criminals in jail, I would’ve become a vigilante. Heroism involves kindness, dipshit.”

“Heroism involves kindness, dipshit” is the most amazing phrase I’ve ever read. I need to incorporate it into all my work.

This straight up sounds like something Spider-Man would say

Batman and his entire rogues gallery in BTAS

smh at jason todd’s grudge against batman always being portrayed as being morally gray or just some edgy teenage angst like no if my adoptive father let me get killed by some clown and i came back and found out that that clown wasn’t now a funny ass corpse? ohhhh girl. 

jason was put through literal hell bc of batman and that nigga would be fighting the joker and say sum shit like “i don’t want to kill you, i don’t have a reason” and jason’s just standing behind him like

jason when batman starts monologuing about his fuck ass “no guns” policy

jason when he hear bout batman putting purse snatchers in hospitals with broken spines but takes joker for a cruise round the city in his tricked out bentley and havin hour long deep ass conversations bout being “two sides of the same coin”

What Batman y'all been watching/Reading? Bruce killed Joker in Dark Knight Returns (where he retired after Jason died) and in Killing Joke.

“What Batman y’all been reading? [Something that happened only in an AU story] and [misunderstanding of the end of a canon story in which the Joker certainly did not die]”

And yet you that Batman would actually put a purse snatcher in the hospital and actually take the Joker for a ride instead of doing the exact opposite.

Insomnia can be a bitch

smh at jason todd’s grudge against batman always being portrayed as being morally gray or just some edgy teenage angst like no if my adoptive father let me get killed by some clown and i came back and found out that that clown wasn’t now a funny ass corpse? ohhhh girl. 

jason was put through literal hell bc of batman and that nigga would be fighting the joker and say sum shit like “i don’t want to kill you, i don’t have a reason” and jason’s just standing behind him like

jason when batman starts monologuing about his fuck ass “no guns” policy

jason when he hear bout batman putting purse snatchers in hospitals with broken spines but takes joker for a cruise round the city in his tricked out bentley and havin hour long deep ass conversations bout being “two sides of the same coin”

What Batman y'all been watching/Reading? Bruce killed Joker in Dark Knight Returns (where he retired after Jason died) and in Killing Joke.

OP you left out the best part

Batman The Animated Series Old-Timey Noir Aesthetic 

You can almost hear Aden’s frustration with the bat.

I kind of absolutely love what Bruce does next to help the boy. He shouldn’t of reacted this way but still…

Then he makes sure Aden’s put in a safe environment, away from his abusive father.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012) dir. Christopher Nolan

why does anyone in Gotham even bother doing crime like you KNOW the second you leave the bank with the money you just stole Bruce Wayne is gonna be chilling on a bench on the other side of the street in his bat fursuit like “hey bitch u better not be breaking the law”

because batman never bothered attacking the roots of social problems

you know what… you’re right call him out!!

Wayne Enterprises has a jobs program for those who are fresh out of prison. He routinely takes major villains with mental health issues to an asylum where professionals are there to help. Or do you just read the fight scenes?

Because

Batman

Never

Bothered

Attacking

The

Roots

Of

Social

Problems

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF BATMAN HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING?

Fake geeks, I swear to god…

The best part is that most of the lore, especially Batman: The Animated Series, gets to a point in Batman’s career when everyone asks the question of why someone would rob a bank in Gotham when they know that if they approached Batman, and coincidentally Bruce Wayne, they could get the help they needed.

That’s the whole point of Batman. Granted there have been modernized adaptations that paint him out to be nothing more than a growling, punching, antihero. But nobody ever said those adaptations were canon or even good. The original Batman comics, most of the newer comics, the Animated Series, the animated spinoffs, even the Arkham video games all operate under the lore that Batman does everything within his power to help as many villains as he can, even if it means going against cops, politicians, etc. That’s what originally made him the vigilante. He went against the social norms. He did everything that a hero shouldn’t do, not in a murderous way, but in a taking-sides way. Every other hero swoops in to save the corrupt politician from the criminal. Batman swoops in to save the criminal from the corrupt politician. 

I actually never thought about this. And I realized that unlike other heroes who just want to see their antagonist gone and really don’t care about nothing but killing them and stopping them, Batman wants to try and help them out. When people would normally push for a serial killer to be sentenced to death, a person could want that killer to be in rehabilitation. This makes me like Batman a lot more.

anyway batman is a muslim

“Batman has more than one son,“ I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

“She’s right,” I hear. I look around for the owner of the voice. There in the fifth row, he stands: Bruce Wayne himself.

“What does he know about Batman” the crowd replies and resumes booing. Bruce Wayne discreetly leaves the room. In an unrelated turn of events, a voice speaks from above. “She’s right,” I hear. There crashing through the skylight: Batman.