I'm gonna take a little break from posting here, I'll be available on my main @theblurrxdface
Reminder: I'm happy to chat but I miss so many replies, what can I say, there's many notes coming in and I have adhd... Just send me a message instead or head over to my main @theblurrxdface which is much quieter and I'll see you.
As always, I share stuff about ADHD that I want to, usually that I find amusing or relatable, this doesn't make it part of the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, mean it's exclusive to ADHD, or that it should be taken overly seriously.
Even an infographic with informative stuff, is still not an official source of medical info, you shouldn't take it as such. I get 2 types of responses to my posts very often
- I relate to this so I think I may have adhd.
- This is wrong/simplified/exaggerated/doesn't apply to me
For the first one, I'm not gatekeeping adhd or memes from you (please enjoy them at your leisure) - but, if you're concerned you need to seek out a professional opinion. Yes, I'm aware not everyone is in a position to, but at the very least you need to be looking at proper medical sources to understand the condition, and not a meme which could apply to neurotypicals and/or people with a multitude of other conditions too.
For the second one, I think I've covered that. This blog has the word dump in its name largely because I started it to dump all the adhd stuff I keep coming across and saving and to put it somewhere. I did not think it would reach 1k and tens of thousands more notes on some posts. It's lovely that it has, it still doesn't make it an official source of anything.
I use this app called Do It Now (which regardless of what I'm gonna say I still recommend cos it had many functions which work for me) that allows you to set yourself tasks like an RPG that reward XP and coins for yourself and level up. It's a good way to get you to do list of chores and work and feel rewarded.
The xp and coins are mostly meaningless they just help your brain feel rewarded and that's good enough, but your avatar will level up with xp and the coins... Well the coins let you buy rewards. You can set your rewards. This is where my brain hits a wall in many ways. Remember when your parents maybe gave you a reward chart and you got a prize at the end for doing everything? That was great, but what if you had to buy the prize or make the prize yourself? That defeats the purpose, especially when you can do it any time. So sure, I can set up in the app that it costs me 500 DIN coins to get a new videogame but then it'll also cost me the 20€ the game costs so I haven't earned it I've just put off buying it. Doesn't work for me. Do any of you use DIN? How do you make use of the coin/reward set up?
adhd-infodump reblogged
I guess this is the RSD, but I'm really low rn. Someone I thought was a friend has been avoiding me and dodging my suggestions to meet up, and then I saw she blocked me on social media. Honestly feels like I'm back in school drama again and it's stupid but upsetting and triggering.
It really frustrates me because I found out that it's likely because she thinks I was checking up on her (while she travelled alone this summer on the other side of the world) on behalf of her mother who she has issues with. Which is not true. I stayed in touch and asked how she was a few times out of very genuine concern, not to play any stupid spying games I have nothing to do with. I'm so over false accusations and other people's middle school level drama and yet the rejection and incorrectness still stings and goes round and round in my mind. Sorry for the vent.
I know this is uninteresting for most people, and yet I have to put it out there because I'm so devastated.
This person has since revealed she thought I was never her friend, like *not ever*, but rather someone with ulterior motives spending time with her at her mother's request most likely to spy on her. I am friends with her mother, I know her and her mother because I work with her mother, that's no secret. Neither of us are evil though. Like holy shit, even if her mother was and I somehow missed it, I would never agree to pretend to be some lady's daughter's friend to spy on her wtaf.
Now I get that it sounds like paranoia and she may be mentally unwell, but why the actual fuck did she pretend to be my friend if she thought I was spying on her. She was therefore being equally fake in her own mind. Except it was real for me and that's crushing. The last thing she said to me when we saw eachother before she went away, was that I was a truly beautiful person on the inside and out. No one other than my partner has ever said anything so lovely to me and I've thought about it throughout the summer. I now find out she did not at that stage or any stage consider me anything more than a spy and was just "being nice" and saying made up things.
I never thought I'd tell a story about someone thinking I was a spy, holy shit. Nor would I imagine someone thinking I was a spy would hurt this badly. I do feel genuinely awful for her POV if she genuinely thinks that it must suck too but I can't get my head around how she has acted like my friend.
I thought at 22 I'd be better at making friends, maybe this is an ND thing, maybe I'm just personally fucking terrible and that's why it's so easy to believe I'd do something so heartless. But it's getting hard to bear the non stop social failures since childhood.
I guess this is the RSD, but I'm really low rn. Someone I thought was a friend has been avoiding me and dodging my suggestions to meet up, and then I saw she blocked me on social media. Honestly feels like I'm back in school drama again and it's stupid but upsetting and triggering.
It really frustrates me because I found out that it's likely because she thinks I was checking up on her (while she travelled alone this summer on the other side of the world) on behalf of her mother who she has issues with. Which is not true. I stayed in touch and asked how she was a few times out of very genuine concern, not to play any stupid spying games I have nothing to do with. I'm so over false accusations and other people's middle school level drama and yet the rejection and incorrectness still stings and goes round and round in my mind. Sorry for the vent.
Sometimes I feel impostery about my ADHD and then I have days like today where I totally screw myself over by being unable to perform a simple task after many hours, and i can't even explain why not
The way I choose to interpret this is more as a reminder of what it can often be like with ADHD, not that it'll never also be like the upper example if you have ADHD or that's it's wrong to question if you might have ADHD.
Some of you may remember how back in May I was struggling big time with my end of year uni assignment. Some of you were really encouraging and supportive so I want to say a big thanks and tell you all I got a distinction!
I've had them now for both years I've been at uni and it's really surreal, I was always pretty crap in school. It makes such a huge difference to do something I'm actually interested in, and for me, online and flexible learning has worked well. Being self motivated with ADHD is a nightmare, true, but sitting in a classroom is worse. Having the freedom to study at 3am if I feel like it or to study 1h a day or 10h a day, so long as the work gets done, is what works for my head. If you're interested in education but something like ADHD is making you doubt yourself, don't give up on the world of higher education, there are plenty of non traditional (including non university) options to keep learning and you may flourish when you find what suits you more than school ever did.
Also, 10 days on, I'm covid negative and breathing is 90% back to normal :)
This dump I started to put all my ADHD related content I didn't know what to do with just hit 1k followers, thanks for following and sticking with my random erratic posting.
Off topic, don't get covid, I'm young, vaccinated, and reasonably physically healthy and right now every breath is slightly painful and I'm exhausted and it's been a week 0/10
Update, life went from shit, to better, to shit again in that way that life does.
Went to music festival, was amazing, also met a band member I like. Then the transport was messed up and I had to stay up all night.
Came home and developed covid... Which I guess is like duh, I went to a festival. But you know what, I've avoided all those maskless standing in a crowd type events since the start, I'm vaxxed, the time had come to live. Covid sucks It's been brief (I still have it but I'm so much better than 2 or 3 days ago) so I'm thankful, the 2 or 3 days of high fever were horrible though.
It meant missing expensive flights I had to see my recently widowed grandfather, and paying an absolute fortune to change them. In retrospect I would not have planned the festival and travel almost back to back, live and learn.
Sorry for inactivity but the owner of this dump got fired from my job with 2 days notice and no, not for anything disciplinary or due to my ADHD impacting anything, just a bad change of situation in which I was made redundant. (I'll explain in the replies or else this post will turn into an essay and most people won't be interested).
Anyway, I'm really let down and saddened and not really keeping up with Tumblr. Again.
I'm having an insanely hard time writing a 1500 word complex essay for university. I can't discuss the essay topic because that's considered plagiarism. My meds are reduced and my personal life is messed up and I'm so incredibly unfocused it just sucks.
I've been scoring between 80-95% all year but if I don't get 40% minimum on this last one then it's for nothing, and honestly idk if I can now.
I have rejection sensitive dysphoria with my ADHD, and a crippling fear of abandonment from also having bpd.
My partner says I'm not enough and he wants to sleep with other people. He never expressed anything other than complete joy with only me the last year (he admits hiding what he wanted was wrong).
I know that works for some people and I'm totally fine with it for them. It doesn't work for me. I don't think it'll work for him. I'll lose him saying yes or if I deny it to him. Nothing is the same anymore and the deposit I've been struggling to save so we can live together no longer matters. If our sex is dull, I guess living with me would bore the shit out of him.
I'm not really okay at all. Everything feels like a lie and I'm disgusting.
Sorry for not really posting.
adhd-infodump reblogged
I've been waiting weeks for my work holidays to start, I'm about 2h in now and freaked out over how bored I am already
I’ve worked on stat holidays because I was bored….
I get that. But when I was working I felt stressed and exhausted and couldn't wait for my break. And now, after 1 afternoon I'm restless but also wouldn't want to work if I could.
I've been waiting weeks for my work holidays to start, I'm about 2h in now and freaked out over how bored I am already