You're like Proactiv. You make people feel better about their face.
Me: *sees people standing in the middle of the hallway*
People: *taking up entire hallway*
People actually trying to get to class: wth
Me: you goddamn people are a fukin blood clot in the hallway of life
Someone: what are you going to do after college?
Me: idk I didn't think I would get this far
Me: he doesn't like me
Me: he's way out of my league
Me: he's so cute
Me: he likes her
Crush: *looks in my general direction*
Me: there's a chance
you know you have a problem when you're sitting front row in class on tumblr
Cookie Boob
Ok one time in English class my friend was eating cookies and the teacher called him over to his desk and we were all like "oh no, he's gonna get in trouble for eating" but then my teacher gets up, grabs a plastic bag, shoves it in his breast pocket, grabs his cookies, and shoves them in the bag in his pocket whilst yelling, "COOKIE BOOB" My friend ate the cookies right out of his boob
Homework got me like
When your teachers take more than a week to put your grades in
When you ace a test you thought you were gonna fail
Going to the bus tomorrow like
I hope you all know that I am procrastinating on a five page essay due tomorrow right now.