Every so often I see people wondering how a “lack of sexuality” counts as a sexuality. (Or in one case, why asexuality counts as a sexuality and hypersexuality is medical condition).
And I think this question comes as a result of people, either by accident or maliciousness, misidentifying what asexuality actually is.
Aphobes and exclusionists like to portray asexuality as simply a matter of magnitude. You’re not really ace. You’re a straight/gay/bi person who doesn’t have/want sex. Like there’s a z axis of the kinsey scale that indicates “amount”. If they even give us that much validity.
But ultimately, asexuality is not about magnitude. An asexual person can actually have a sex drive. We can have libidos. We have hormones and biological reactions just like everyone else. Asexual people can feel horny. And surprise, there are asexual people who have been diagnosed with hypersexuality.
(And if you want to know how a sex-repulsed asexual handles a healthy sex drive…well, simply put, we’re generally capable of seeing to our own needs, thank you.)
Asexuality is not a matter of magnitude. It’s a matter of direction.
Of orientation if you will.
It might help to look at it like this. If sexual desire is a multiple choice exam, then these are some of the options that you might have.
a) Women.
b) Men.
c) Multiple genders.
d) None of the above.
For asexual people, the answer is “d) None of the above”. Admittedly, for others on the ace spectrum, the answer might fluctuate a bit more. But our default position is going to be “d”.
And THAT’s why it’s a sexuality.
