YAAAAS!!! YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!! Oh my god that passage is so good!! I loved that part so much!! Him triggered into a panic attack and Bree comforting him through it. God it's so good. Diana's whump writing is really A+.
Okay heads up because I'm about to write a book as a response, I'm sorry not sorry lol.
I love Roger so so much and every scene in the show is a gift but god yes I wish more was shown too!!! Especially this kind of stuff!! Cause that scene in ABOSAA is just so good.
There's a lot about how the show translated book Roger into screen Roger that infuriates me (NOT ONE MENTION OF "À SMEÒRAICH"!? SERIOUSLY!?) but nearly completely skipping and overlooking the trauma and recovery Roger goes through after being hanged is infuriating. I HATE IT. I understand that it'd be weird and difficult to have Rik just not speak (or speak in a way that'd be damaging to his vocal chords) for several episodes but personally I think it would have been INCREDIBLE and I think it'd have made an excellent acting challenge for Rik. He did so well in 5x08 with no dialogue. Like his expressions and body language acting were so good and he was able to say so much with zero dialogue. He could have done that for longer and been amazing. And they had him go back to speaking with no problem and there's no scar or gravelly voice when he does start speaking again outside of 5x08. I mean, 5x08 is the only episode that is forgiven because it's the only episode to have any aftereffects of his hanging. Although I will admit I did like hearing Roger sing more because Richard's voice is beautiful but he should not have been able to go back to singing like he had before. It was frustrating!
I hate how the show glosses over it all. Thinking about the books, we didn't see when Claire, Jamie, and Bree found him hanging, cut him down and performed a tracheotomy right there. I mean I guess we did but was all smushed together in one very quick silent film style scene so the gravity of the situation was glossed over. It was an interesting way to show his flashbacks and I approved of that but god we should have seen the scene in full to really understand what happened to him. We didn't get to hear Jamie tell him "You are alive. You are whole. All is well.". Yeah it was kinda included in the silent film scene but image if we could have HEARD him say it. If it had been given focus/attention. We didn't see anything of how Bree cared for him afterwards, sitting next to him unconscious in bed with a tube in his neck to breathe, singing to him, speaking to him in Gaelic. We didn't see Jamie's anger at the grievous harm done to his son-in-law or hear him actually say the word "son" further cementing how Jamie views Roger as his family and that he actually does care about him. We didn't see how angry and worried for Roger Jamie actually was. We didn't see Claire lay a sleeping Jemmy on an unconscious Roger and Roger instinctively reach up to cradle his baby to him. We didn't see Roger slowly recovering, a tube in his throat in order to breathe at all. We didn't see the scene when Roger, still unable to speak, tries to tell Jamie who was responsible for him being hanged through a series of writing and charades because his fingers are broken and his throat was crushed. We only got ONE episode of his depression and how the trauma of being hanged really affected him. ONE EPISODE. Then all was fine.
And Roger suffers physically and mentally because of the hanging for a long time and never truly recovers from it. He's able to speak again but his voice becomes more gravelly and he avoids speaking in front of large groups for quite a while because he's self conscious of it and it actually hurts him to speak. He's never able to sing like he used to again and it took a long time for him to even try singing at all and even longer to sing in front of others. For a while he'd only sing for Jemmy. And his singing is such a vital part of his identity it really throws his sense of self upside down and he becomes so lost. On top of all that he's suffering from PTSD as well. He has nightmares of the hanging and dreams of being able to sing only to wake up to the reality where he can't anymore. He has panic attacks and flashbacks. I mean even the rest of the part of what you shared is just as good:
"Her fingers were cold and her hands smelled of dirt. There was water in his eyes. He blinked, wanting to see the room, the hearth and candle and dishes and loom, to convince himself of where he was. A drop of warm moisture rolled down his cheek. He tried to tell her that it was all right, he wasn’t crying, but she merely pressed closer, holding him across the chest with one arm, the other hand still cool on the painful lump in his throat. Here breasts were soft against his back, and he could fee, rather than hear, her humming, the small tuneless noise she made when she was anxious, or concentrating very hard. Finally the spasm began to ease, and the feel of choking left him. His chest swelled with the unbelievable relief of a free breath, and she let go."
Then there's the actually physical recovery. The rope leaves a jagged scar on throat. His fingers were broken from prying at the rope around his neck. He had a tube in his throat from the surgery Claire performed on him to save his life.
Some of my favorite book scenes from The Fiery Cross and A Breathe of Snow and Ashes were either omitted from the show completely or downplayed and it infuriates me.
