mom, trying her best: hey there was a sale on axe deodorant so i got you some

me: oh…. thanks, but i hate axe. i mean i’ll wear it so it doesn’t go to waste, but my favorite deodorant is that honeysuckle kind

mom: but….. but that’s women’s deodorant…. you’re a trans man, you’re a man, flowers smell like women

me: right, i forgot that men have to smell like ballsack at all times, damn

Actually I got the best advice from this dude I used to work with. One day I went in to give him a hug and commented, “Man you always smell amazing, you must get the fancy bullshit cologne.” Seriously, this man smelled the way those Christmas themed romance novel covers look, like burly men in plaid reclined on a sheepskin before a fire. That image, in smell form.

And he was like, “No, it’s Axe. I got it on clearance. I just use it wrong.”

He went and got it from his locker and had this whole, like, speech ready about how to do it and yeah. Turns out Axe smells incredible when you treat it like cologne. A miniscule amount on your pulse points and that’s it.

this is incredible advice thank you so much

hey trans friends

if you need binders/breast forms/makeup/etc but don’t want your parents to know, now is the best time to get it. 

you can order whatever it is online and when the package comes in if the ask what it is you can say something like “it’s a secret!” or even just sssh them. they’ll assume it’s a present for whatever holiday you celebrate and probably won’t press the issue.

oh my god this is amazing

Trans Tip #10

Plaid shirts work wonders for appear masculine.