(Shameless Addams family inspired prompt)

News travels fast in Gotham, especially in affluent circles. A new family has arrived in the city, old money at that. They had taken up residents in the old mansion overlooking the Historic Gotham Graveyard.

The Nightingales had a way of letting their presence be known. They were rarely seen in public. The eldest Jasmine Nightingale however had made waves working at the Gotham Asylum as a psychologist. She was often escorted by her younger brother Dan Nightingale. The public really started talking when Jazz was seen talking with Harley Quinn.

There were two children that lived in the Nightingale manor. They were elusive to say the least as the family didn't attend the parties of Gotham.

It wasn't until Damian Wayne got an invite from his classmate Danielle to visit their manor that someone saw the lives of Nightingales. This invite had been received after Damian carefully befriended the youngest Nightingale to investigate their connections.

That's how the Waynes ended up at a dinner party.

The manor was bleak to say the least and that's saying something in Gotham. The buildingbwas made from black stones and gargoyles perched on the roof. The garden was wilted and full of thrones that crept up the walls.

Bruce felt a sense of Deja vu as he approached the door and rang the bell. Tower bells rang out as the face of Jasmine Nightingale appeared. She was dressed in black dress pants and blazer. Her lips were painted to match. Her red hair had a striking white streak through it which had become a fashion trend since the family's arrival to girls wanting to seem mysterious.

"Good Evening. It is so nice to meet the infamous Waynes." She shook Bruce's hand. Behind her, the sounds of clanking metal was heard. "That is just my younger siblings playing. You don't you boys join while I talk to your father.

Despite only being a fresh-faced 20 year old Jazz carried herself like a confident adult. A certified genius in psychology who graduated early she also handled the inmates at the Asylum well enough that escapes are at an all time low.

"She's got it all" was what Harley said.

Bruce's admiration of the young lady was only matched by his suspicion. The house the Nightingales lived y had once belonged to the Al Ghouls. There was no telling yet if there was a connection.

He took a seat in the living room with Jazz tea already prepared. She poured two cups of black tea. Not black as in the type of tea but the color of the drink. Bruce cautiously sniffed the black liquid, it smelled earthy and acidic. Poison.

"Do you like it? I made it myself. I added the belladonna myself. It has a sweet taste so you don't need sugar. The kids have sweet tooths but we avoid added sugars. They love nightshade." She smiled drinking.

Bruce put the cup down. So they drink poison at a young age. They must be part of The League of Assassins. But why are they here?

"If you don't mind me asking. Why did you move to Gotham? Your parents-" Jazz put a hand up as she finished her cup.

"Mr. Wayne I'm sure you are no stranger to parents leaving before their time nor the concept that not all parents deserve children. Now I can't confirm or deny if that is the case for use but you can understand that it's a private matter." Jazz said sternly.

That wasn't an answer.

Upstairs Danny and Danielle played with Elle's new toys. Swords from Dan's trip to Portugal. He even sharpened them. They were currently tearing through the mansion.

Tim and Damian caught them while Danny had successfully pinned Elle to the ground.

"Dami! Help!" Elle yelled catching Danny off guard as Damian tackled Danny to the ground.

"Alright, alright. You can go next." Danny rolling Damian off him and passing him the sword. "Im taking a break."

Danny loved playing with his little sister but baby games are tiring.

"They let you play with swords," Tim exclaimed. This wasn't something he expected, sure it was normal for Damian but Damian is weird and was raised by assassins. Damian didn't do it for fun, it was training.

Damian and Danielle ran off while fencing.

"You must be one of the Waynes. Elle has been excited to have your brother over." Danny said politely if not a bit dismissive.

"Eh, yeah. Your sister said we should join you." Tim said a bit awkward. " You have another brother right?"

"Oh, yeah. He travels alot but he's relaxing right now. He's probably swimming." Danny shrugged.

Tim had heard of Danny. They went to the same school but Danny was part of a program that allowed him to come to school when he felt like it. The program is for young engineers who want to work for Wayne Industries. He mostly worked on small experimental projects. So far Danny's superconductor tech was revolutionary but impossible to replicate. Danny somehow managed to make a more effective coolant than anything they had created in the lab.

"You have a pool?" Tim knew that the mansion didn't have a pool.

"Of water? No." Danny shrugged but gave no further answer.

"I see, so what do you do?" Tim tried to sound normal like he was talking to his friends and not someone he was trying to probe.

"Anything, everything. I was going to recalibrate my telescope but I have a laser to test." Danny walked off expecting Tim to follow.

Testing was just cut a bunch of things in half. Tim got some great info on making an explosive ice canister and foam bombs. Tim made sure to get his number to hire him to make some gear for him.

The Nightingale kids were absolutely lawless. They destroyed everything in their path.

Elle had dragged Damian to her room to show off her toys. She used to travel with Dan until she started school. She picked up a bunch of items. Cult artifacts, shrunken heads, voodoo dolls, cursed puppets, knives, swords, and the homemade taxidermy Elle made from roadkill. She also had a pet dodo bird named Ernesto who had a bed next to her bed. Ernesto took a liking to Damian and sat on his head. The way he shows his affection

Soon enough Dan came upstairs to check on Elle and Danny.

"You kids, need to get ready for dinner. Sharpen your nails and teeth." He said before going back to the kitchen.

"What does that mean?" Damian asked.

"You don't sharpen your nails. Well good luck at dinner." Elle said bemused.

Dinner was...horrifying. Watching the family chat happily as they ripped apart the moving food as it came to life. Damian was actually excited as he skewered the cheese and broccoli casserole that screamed at him.

"Father, why can't we do this at our home?" He asked.

-Slams DPxDC door open and tosses AU idea on table-

Tim's parents send home an artifact that is said to able to grant wishes! While being curious about it Tim messes with the artifact and when he 'solves' it, according to legend one must solve it to get a wish, he wishes he wasn't alone anymore.

The object glows bright and as he shields his eyes he can hear.

'So you have wished it, so it shall be!'

He gets his wish in the form of a recently reincarnated ghost!King (who entered the DC world for a reincarnated vaycay... he should had known something was going to happen because CW was encouraging the break) Danny whose just a baby/toddler right now.

Basically, big brother Tim and baby Danny adventures in Gotham after that.

Hahahaha I just imagine little kid Tim with baby Danny strapped to his chest while confronting Batman.

Batman: uhhh what you got there?

Tim w/ a toddler strapped to his chest: a smoothie.

This mental image is now stuck in head. Omg.

Tim carrying Danny around, who is almost half his size (I love the idea of Tim being small and short for his age) and is kicking his tiny feet wanting to be free from his baby prison.

Tim knows it's dangerous to bring his baby brother with him but he knows it's also bad to leave his brother home alone for a few hours too, and he doesn't want Danny to feel alone like he always did.

... Tim holding up a pouting Danny to Batman.

"You disappointed the baby. How could you disappoint the baby!"

Using guilt to reign Bruce in during his grief.

Alfred using Danny to trick Tim into staying over more often.

"Master Tim, I really must insist you stay the night. Your brother has only just fallen asleep. Surely you will not be waking him again at this hour?

Danny using his own powers to make people take naps. He WILL refuse to sleep unless you hold him. So, you can either settle down somewhere while holding him. Or you can deal with a screaming baby who refuses to sleep. Alfred has SO many pictures of Tim, Dick and Bruce holding a snoozing Danny, and then having fallen asleep wherever they are. Lulled to sleep by calm sleepy baby. This does have the side effect of making Tim's ability to sleep anywhere/anyhow even worse. But eh.

I don't think Tim would even BE Robin in this one. Danny won't be letting Tim near Bruce without him. He does not trust the look in Bruce's eyes. So Bruce gets cave back up, and guilt trip baby who WILL get clingy when he is hurt and tries to go out as Batman. How does he even know??

Jason's explosive re-entry to Gotham is correspondingly going to be made weirder. Gotham high society knows the Drake boys have adopted Brucie after Jason's passing. And have been trying to help their poor beloved himbo through it. Everyone finds it very sweet that the 12 yr old Drake heir has weaponised his brother that way. Shows initiative.

If Tim doesn’t become Robin, how will we get Jason to meet Danny and get his ectoplasm cleaned/pit rage removed?

Tim is acting cave support, Danny is emotional support/mascot. Cleverly placed to guilt Bruce into being a better role model. Jason finds out about the 12/13 year old who is emotionally blackmailing Batman with a toddler to be healthier. And just laughs himself sick. That's just... So Bruce. Finding out the toddler emotionally blackmailed his older brother into not being Robin? Made his damn week. He owes the squirt some cookies.

Danny is in toddlerhood by the time Jason comes rolling into Gotham as Red Hood, his re-entry is still somehwhat explosive because of the whole Joker is still alive thing but his anger isn't towards Tim because he isn't Robin, even though Tim no doubt knows some stuff to both protect himself and his baby brother just in case, BUT he is still making waves as Red Hood thus still on Batman's radar.

It's because of this that Danny notices/overhears things because everyone thinks he's to little to really understand what's happening they don't really sugar coat their words too much. Danny overhears some of how Red Hood is acting as and realizes its corrupted Ecto (he had lived in the Infinite Realms for a while, visiting Frostbite and learning a thing or two from the healer, before being reincarnated)

So, one night Tim is busy on coms, Nightwing isn't around to babysit, Alfred is upstairs preparing dinner for the younger boys, and Batman is about to leave for a Arkham outbreak that started up a few mins ago, Danny decides to hitch a ride in the back, using a teddybear to pretend to be him in his play area he has in the cave.

Once the Batmobile is parked, toddler Danny sneaks out he uses the tiny bit of powers he still has (nothing big, he's still too tiny to use big/all of his powers) and goes hunting for Red Hood who he knows has been working in Crime Alley.

When he does find him, Danny totally toddles over and makes grabby hands.

Note form response again!

Tim squinting and baby Danny: That toddler is up to something.

Danny smearing spaghetti sauce on his high chair tray with gleeful mischief.

Alfred walking by with a washcloth in hand: quite. Clearly plotting a master plan. Best if wipe up his plans.

Danny frowns as his clumsy tomato sauce drawing of blob ghost sitting on Jason is cleaned up.

Danny scribbling over the summons he used to cover his "crime". Making the evidence vanish like Uncle Batman can do.

Alfred sees Danny drawing pictures of a boy with some sort of blob on him that kind of looks like a cat. Ah, the young master wants a pet. He must be getting frustrated that he drawing isn't coming out good enough, which explains why he getting rid of the pictures. I should compliment him on his improving art skills, and enquire with Master Bruce about acquiring a kitten.

Yes, this makes perfect sense.

Danny, meanwhile, thinks he's being so sneaky at getting rid of the evidence

Look, Danny knew sneaking out and going off to find Red Hood in Crime freaking Alley was a bad idea, he gets it. He's too little right now but come on Lady Gotham asked for his help to save one of her favorite birds, she doesn't ask for help often AND she promised to kinda influence the Gotham Rogues to stay in Arkham during his and Tim's birthdays, promise!

Secondly in order to send his current army of blob ghosties he needed to get a good feel of the corrupted ecto first before he could even summon them. So yeah visiting Red Hood was a must. And it was good thing he did, all that bad ecto would had done so much more damage the longer it was left in him without the blob ghosties filters, Danny will visit every so often to check the progress of course and help speed up the cleaning just by being near so yeah.

Getting grounded was worth it, even if he had to wear a baby leash for weeks... and be in baby jail with all the monitors on him... and no ice cream or desserts or his favorite Alfred made meals for a while either.

Tim knows his baby brother did something to Red Hood, he just doesn't know what. Out of nowhere Red Hood activity slows and stops almost instantly after Batman found Danny in Red Hood's arms? Yeah no he knows Danny did something, he knows his baby brother's expressions very well and has seen Danny do things no baby/toddler should be able to do or understand. Thing is Tim can't tell anyone he knows his brother is smarter than his age should be, because he knows he'll have to explain how Danny came into his life because again Danny was a 'Wish' he made. A wish only Tim knows happened and well he knows how Bruce doesn't like magic even on a good day and doesn't wanna risk his baby brother at all.

Meanwhile Jason is confused as heck, ever since he meet the Drake baby his pit rage has been slowly going away, he's seeing weird green blobs that purr all over him, and he's gaining powers somehow?! AND sometimes he can see the shape of a tall lady, who feels familiar as heck, out of the corner of his eye and can hear her call him 'Her Alley Bird'

Ra’s had another kid.

And he was only a few years older than Damian.

Danyal Al Ghul was hidden by his mother in Illinois before she died from her injuries indicated by Ra’s

Daniel Fenton was adouoted by the Fentons when he was young

Danny Fenton went in the portal and didn’t come out alive.

Danny school made everyone take a DNA test to see if they had the meta gene.

Turns out, Danny’s DNA is contaminated with so much radiation that he was placed in a quarantine room a couple states away

All the while Danny’s DNA pinged on the bat computer because he was Damian’s uncle and Talia’s half brother.

But apparently a rouge government branch kidnapped him acting funding out he was an ‘ecto entity’ and was no longer sentient

As Bruce sorts through the files, he realizes something.

None of his children can now be considered sentient.

This organization had to be taken down

It's a common joke in Gotham that Bruce Wayne will adopt any black-haired and blue-eyed traumatized boy he finds. So much so that even he leans into it. But he was completely shocked when Damian confronts him about having a new brother that he did not want.

Bruce could barely get a word in when the rest of the family arrived upset that they weren't told about getting another sibling after Damian texted the family group chat (for once).

Damian had encountered a boy around Drake's age moving stuff into what was an empty room. The room was now furnished top to bottom with glowing green lights, tapestries of stars, random artifacts, several telescopes, and model rockets.

He knew the moment he saw the black hair and blue eyes that his father had taken in another ward.

Apparently Bruce was the last the know about his new "son" who was currently rearranging furniture and asking to help Alfred with dinner.

Said dinner was an uncomfortable as Bruce was grilled by his kids on his addiction to adoption. Simultaneously they tried to get to know the new addition to the family.

It was easy to see that Damian didn't like Danny but it was equally easy to see that Danny could cow the boy like a border collie on a lamb. When Damian thew a dagger the teen caught it with one hand as it passed his face and then slid it across the table back to Damian.

"Try again. " Danny said "And this time don't aim to miss on purpose. If you want me dead you need to do better."

Damian put the knife away and huffed.

Tim and Danny hit it off almost instantly. The way they were able to bounce their thoughts back and forth made Tim believe that he found an equal.

Danny was able to understand Cassie immediately with just look in eachothers eyes like he was reading her mind but not in a creepy way.

Jason of course noticed the strange energy in the air around the kid. It was soothing. Like lavender wafting in the air. Well lavender for everyone else for him it was like opium. His eyes felt heavy like he had eaten a handful of poppy seeds. At the same time he felt full, like he had eating a full meal after starving for a week.

Whatever it is Damian was feeling it too. The demon looked even more his age as he rubbed his eyes and yawned. The crease in his brow gone.

Duke on the other hand was more on edge as his eyes flickered towards Danny before looking away. He had something he wanted to ask about the glowing boy but since no one can see it or just isn't saying anything he will keep quiet for now.

Next was Barbara who teased the new kid.

"So how do you like your new family? Ready to be the new robin?" She asked.

"Im robin." Damian mumbled groggily.

The others were waiting for Damian to finally fall asleep and glared at one another in a challenge to be the one to pick up Damian and put him to bed. Dick was winning.

Speaking of Dick, as expected he was off the wall excited to learn more about his new little brother. He wanted the full story as to why Bruce took him in. He could almost certainly guess it was because of a tragic situation and Dick was already ready to handle it as the greatest big brother ever and he wasn't sharing the title no matter what Barbara said. Even if she was Stephanie's favorite.

Bruce cleared his throat and the table went silent. "So, Danny. Where exactly did you come from? Why are you here? And how did you know who I am?"

Everyone went white. Did they all just risk their identities believing that Danny was a new Robin? Why didn't Bruce say something? Not even a signal for the protocol they would use.

Danny frowned looking a bit hurt.

"What do you mean, Bruce? You said you owed me. You said you'd give me anything I wanted if saved your son. I even helped you get back home when you got lost in time." Danny huffed feeling betrayed.

The table went silent.

Bruce made a few calculations in his brain before something must have come to mind. "I lost my memory for a bit so I need a bit of proof."

Danny placed a batarang on the table. The batarang had an engraving on it in a code that only Bruce knew.

"You told me to show this to Alfred when I came. We had a deal, Bruce. You promised me whatever I wanted." Danny huffed clearly insulted.

Just like Danny had said the code was the one Bruce had made. However this code wasn't a promise to grant a favor but to welcome someone new to the family. Past Bruce must have had plans to take the boy in but told Danny something else to lure him here.

Bruce recognized that everyone was right and he has a problem now that he's looking at it like this.

After losing a bet, Danny has to spend some time acting as a maid for Tucker (including wearing a full maid dress, where the heck did you even get that, Tucker??)

And as if that wasn’t mortifying enough, it turns out that he accidentally was visible through a partially-open door during one of Tucker’s streams.

…

Tim Drake choked on his drink. There, hidden in the background of a tech streamer he’d been watching, was the cutest boy he’d ever seen, wearing a maid dress.

He immediately queued up a sizable donation and a message.

And now it was Tucker’s turn to choke on his drink at what he saw show up on screen.

*ding* NotAReplacement has donated $5000 says: hey bring out that pretty maid boy?

Tucker: *spits out his drink* Uhm... Danny?

Danny: NO. You give them back the money! I'm not coming on camera and I'm not cleaning that up!

Tim, hearing this exchange, sends another $5000 with the message: ask him if he'd be willing to move to Gotham and work as my maid? He doesn't have to be good at it

Tucker is never going to let Danny live this down.

Danny, who recently accepted his admissions to Gotham University and thus is going to move to Gotham: 😬 oh no

"I've suddenly decided to change my university preference."

"I will pay for your tuition"

" I guess being a sugar baby wouldn't be too bad"

All this talk takes place with Danny shouting from off-camera and the automatic reader that is activated by the high donations that Tim gives…

Tucker and the other spectators are left listening to everything with a "WTF" face…

The clip ends up exploding on social networks…

On one hand, Danny thought, being humiliated in front of some wealthy stranger would be his worst nightmare. The guy on the other end could be some sort of criminal, theres a lot of those in Gotham. On the other hand, the cash.

The cash is why he ends up DMing the stranger later that day.

The cash is why he ends up looking over the contract.

The cash is why he ends up actually considering it.

Danny forces himself to imagine the worst case scenario: the guy is an ugly, smelly creep who tries to get into Danny’s pants (or skirt, cause he’d be wearing the maid dress). Gross, but he’d fought living sewage before. He could put up with gross, especially if there was money involved.

And even if the guy tried to force himself into Danny’s… skirt… Danny was a half-ghost. He could fight back. And then blackmail the dude into keeping the whole “half ghost” thing a secret.

He’d still get the cash, and with that money, he could get so many new space documentaries.

If this was even worse- like some human trafficking thing- then Danny could fight whoever bought him, and potentially save lives.

Worst case scenario, the donor was Vlad. Danny had beat up Vlad before, and would do it again.

Was he really doing this? Was he really going to dress up as a maid for some rich dudes entertainment?

The answer? Probably yes, actually.

Just before he signed the contract, Tucker sent another message.

Apparently, the viral-ness of the meme meant he had a few alternative contracts. Each were worth a lot of money. Like, a surprising amount. They just varried on who they were for.

Most were from strangers with screen names Danny didn’t recognize.

“FuckSuperman” wanted him to go to metropolis.

“TuxedoStyle” wanted him in Gotham. As did “RomanEmpire” and the original donor, “NotAReplacement”

Oliver Quinn had offered under his real name.

Vlad had made an offer. Danny would not be doing anything with that one.

There were also offers that were clearly fake, or jokes.

Thirty different Batman accounts offered him money to do tasks ranging from “wax the Batmobile” to “let me scream at you so I can see your face, I’m a bat and have echolocation, eeeeeeee”. Many offered to pay Danny in “Bat-dollars” or “delicious delicious mosquitoes”

Danny hoped the actual Batman saw these. Serves the guy right for having such a dumb theme.

Danny considered his options.

He was definitely going for that screaming Batman. After all, the guy was funny.

I don't know why I laughed so much at "Danny had beat up Vlad before, and would do it again."

Trying to figure out why Lex, Penguin, and Black Mask would be interested, or even had been watching the stream in the first place?

More people noticing lil details in my writing?

For this, my readers deserve an update, featuring Number 1 Dad Bruce Wayne experiencing a parental crisis. Enjoy~!

//-\\-//-\\

Bruce, as the world's greatest detective, deduced with near certainty that one of his children had offered money to a streamer TuckNRoll in exchange for services from what appeared to be a young adult male in a maid costume.

A meme making fun of desperate rich guys had circulated the web, and led to dozens of people- many of whom Bruce unfortunately knew quite well- offering the maid boy vast amounts of money to do increasingly deranged things.

Bruce only knew about said meme after Barry Allen sent him dozens of messages asking if he offered money to the guy. It would be a very "Brucie" thing to do, apparently.

Some days Bruce regretted that the Justice League knew his secret identity. Between Barry's memes and John Constantine asking to "borrow" some money, Bruce was considering faking his own death. It was just a passing thought, of course. His children would never let him get away with it.

Within moments of looking at the boy, Bruce decided he ought to do the detective-hero thing he always does, and check that things are safe. Logically, it was since many of the payment offers came from Gotham, where a lot of out-of-towners would get scammed- or worse. Really, Bruce knew it was because the maid boy was about the same age as a few of his own sons.

Bruce went through the offers one by one, tracing them back to the computer they came from. Even the most powerful VPNs didn't stand a chance against Batman.

Within minutes, a few stood out. "RomanEmpire" was an associate of Black Mask. Based on the amount offered, Bruce suspected the offer was on behalf of Black Mask himself.

Lex Luthor had made an offer, since the man couldn't resist the temptation the PR would bring. The media buzz would be a convenient distraction. Bruce sent a note to Clark about that- not his villain, not his problem.

"TuxedoStyle" was from Penguin's account, even though the man himself was currently in jail for one of his most recent crimes.

And then there were the ones that came back untraceable:

"AmTotallyBatman" offered to pay a bucket of live mosquitos in exchange for letting them scream at the maid. Bruce was very confused, and slightly upset. These kinds of memes would ruin Batman's scary reputation. Tracing the computer led to a Bat Sanctuary in Guatemala, because of course it did.

"GreenIsGoth" offered payment in the form of a favor. Their computer came back completely untraceable.

And then there was "NotAReplacement" which came back routed several dozen times, including through several government-protected satellites. It reeked of someone trying to hide something...

....and then there was the fact that the username reminded Bruce of Tim.

But was it actually Tim, or was it Jason pretending to be Tim? Bruce couldn't talk to his son about offering to hire some random stranger on the internet if he didn't know which son it was. Accusing the wrong kid would be a highway to humiliation. Bruce wouldn't be able to handle it.

And even if it was Tim, what exactly would Bruce say about it? Tim was legally an adult. Bruce couldn't tell Tim what to do. He never had that ability, which is why Tim ended up becoming Robin.

But at the same time, Bruce couldn't just let this slide. Letting some stranger into the house would be an easy was to end up with their secrets exposed. Not to mention, Tim was being irresponsible with his money, and was acting a bit creepy.

Tim didn't really know how to act around normal people. He had a "rich agreeable socialite" mask he could put on, and a "serious vigilante" persona, but he struggled to speak to normal civilians as a civilian.

Tim, if the user was Tim, needed someone to tell him to back off.

Now how was Bruce supposed to say that without revealing he'd been cyber-stalking someone who might be his son?

Bruce pondered this for a few moments, before remembering that cyber-stalking was a form of love in the Batfamily.

Alfred: Sir, the court mandatory life coach is here.

Bruce: Thank you, Alfred. By the way, you don't have to put that much emphasis on why he's here

Alfred: Clearly, sir, I do.

Bruce: What does that mean?

Alfred: Just promised me this, Master Bruce. When you see him, do not attempt to sleep with him

Bruce: The playboy is a fake persona. Alfred, I would never-

Aflred: The Life coach is Danny Fenton

Bruce: Where's my slutty white shirt? I need to change.

Ridiculous Dead Serious idea:

Danny is in some kinda competition that Damian is also in, and they’ve been sniping at each other back and forth throughout the whole thing.

Until one day Danny goes, “You want me so bad it makes you look stupid!”

And Damian stops. Considers. Interrogates himself and his motivations like a good detective. Has a facial journey as he goes through the five stages of grief.

Danny was expecting a snide comeback and now he is legitimately worried he’s somehow triggered the snooty rich kid. Trying to decide if he wants to apologize or awkwardly make his way out of the room to give him time to recover.

Damian sorta hates himself because… yeah, yeah he does. He is attracted to the bratty little fucker and has been… pulling pigtails? Antagonizing to remain in his thoughts and field of vision, to watch his face get red and his breath quicken, to make him lean aggressively into his space and growl at him???

Damian is horrified. How did he misjudge himself so badly? Is this how mother felt when she discovered that Father was a complete mess and only fell more in love?

“Uh, dude? Are you… okay?” Danny reaches hesitantly towards him but doesn’t quite touch.

“No,” Damian says, schooling his face into a bland mask. “In fact, I may need you to support me.”

Panic flits across his companion’s face. He rushes to his aid, ducking against his side. His arm wraps around Damian’s back and a hand settles on his waist. Too gullible.

Damian mourns his own good sense.

Batfam reveal goes like this (I imagine that damian would pull this during family Sunday or smt just to stir shit up)

Damian : father I'd like to ask something of you

Bruce : of course, what is it?

Damian sliding a paper acress the dinner table : please sign here *points* and here

Bruce while signing: What is this for?

Damian taking the paper and walking out: oh, it's legal permission to be able to pursue and marry seeing as I am yet to be of legal age

Bruce :

Dick *choking on air and wildly smaking chest* : w-wha-?

Jason : Holy shit

Duke : I can't belive I'm still single

Steph & cass *already knew cause he asked them for romantic advice, seeing as they're the only ones who know how to treat romantic partners* : *unhinged cackling (in steph's case cass just has a huge grin and is barely keeping it together)*

Barbara, who was listening through bugs she planted in their phones : * takes a sip of wine*

Tim : I can't believe I haven't pulled this on him before

Alfred, who knows all : I'm glad some members of this family are willing to go through the courting process, unlike others

Bruce *still single* :

Dick :

Just a thought

Meanwhile with the Fenton’s + Sam:

Danny: Jazz. Jazz I think the guy I was in the competition likes me.

Jazz, sipping tea: Oh? Why do you think that?

Danny: His face went through the five stages of grief when I told him “You want me so bad, it makes you look stupid!”.

Sam, now interested: Well, did he look stupid?

Danny:

Jazz and Sam: Oh no.

Danny, buriying his head into his hands: Oh my god I do like him.

Tucker : Wait but can he kick your ass because that's like your number one criteria dude

Danny :

Sam : We'll empty the corridors so you two get to fight in peace

Danny : Wait what? So we're doing that ?

Jazz : I'll call to organize something to keep the teachers away

Danny : Okay so we are doing that

These tags are glorious.

Also consider: Tim volunteered for this particular hostage situation. He thinks Damian's pending courtship/nuptials are a fantastic idea.

Tim just wanted to pull a prank on Bruce and get back at him for Bruce butting into his love life.

But I love this because Damian may be Bruce's son but he's Talia's son, and he would most definitely take after her in this au. Please, Damian needs to be just as unhinged as Talia when it comes to showing his love. Especially since it's canon that Danny is good enough at fighting to fight bare handed against a blade without getting a single scratch, shown the actually know how to use a sword.

You can't tell me that Damian wouldn't have a courtship pair of swords made for them both. Love spoons exist, so why can't love swords?

Love love love the courtship swords. Obviously he gets a wakizashi for his Beloved, forged to match his own katana. And maybe a lovely set of throwing knives. And a dagger. Look, he can’t have his Intended running around without proper protection. Yes, Daniel can protect himself without a weapon but sometimes you just need a good knife!

Danny also gets Damian weapons, but like cool stuff he finds in the Zone. Ancient sabers, haunted spears, etc. Damian loses his mind every time Danny presents him with some enchanted blade or other.

anyone done this yet, or

Idea.

Not everyone realizes that Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom are the same individual.

They believe that Danny Phantom is a Realms Being Pilot who long ago became trapped in this dimension and joined Star Fleet to support his Obsession to explore space. He is believed to be thousands of years old and has visited countless planets in his life time.

Danny Fenton on the other hand is a young human and recent Star Fleet graduate who has recently joined the Stellar Cartography department after a lengthy battle over him fought by the heads of the various science departments.

What most don’t realize is that Danny is at least 380 years old (not counting time travel shenanigans), who routinely returns to the academy after a set number of decades in order to keep on top of any advancements made in space exploration. He often changes his surname in order to avoid being given special treatment by his teachers.

Danny’s captain is actually an old school friend of his from one of his earlier stints at the Academy. Said Captain is aware of Danny’s abilities and history and enjoys letting other people think Danny is two people for their entertainment.

Danny is unaware that people do not realize Fenton and Phantom are the same person which leads to various shenanigans.

why do people not realise phantom and fenton are diffrent?

do suit colours have meaning?

It's a leftover gag from the TV show where Danny is horrendous at keeping his identity secret, yet nobody notices.

And red shirts in Star Trek mean that crew member is gonna die. The joke here is that Phantom is a ghost

i know about danny phantom lore

i was just confused

also what??

the original star trek had them all in red didnt it?

Star Trek Original Series outfit colors:

Yellow/Gold: Command staff

Green: Command staff formal

Blue: science/medical

Red: engineering/security/communications (folks in the red outfit die a lot on the Original Series which started the red outfitted characters dying trope)

Got a new idea cooking in my head.

Another DPxDC idea.

A reborn into DCverse Toddler!Danny but also Dad!Dick and Talons.

Danny is reborn into the DCverse (either he's a clone of Dick, a created test tube baby, OR a kid Dick unknowingly had during his amnesia year) and wakes up in the Court of Owls who finally have their Gray Son and will turn him into the greatest Talon ever.

Thing is, Danny still has his ghost powers (King Danny? Idk leaving it open, either that or just able to control clean ectoplasm) and knows whatever fruitloops have him, this will not be fun. So, when none of the Owls are watching him, he uses his abilities to influence a few Talons and they all book it out of the place.

Danny later finds himself walking the dirty Gotham streets with a few Talons, one holding his hand while the others hide in the shadows in case they need to protect the baby Talon they all care for.

Of course, the sighting of a Talon holding a toddler's hand catches the camera's and Oracles attention very very fast.

One of the Batboys is sent out, not Dick he's on a space mission right now, and whoever it is, is shocked to see a toddler that has a LOT of similarities to Dick.

Listed in order of nomination. Descriptions of each fic are under the cut. Feel free to reblog and include propaganda!

Listen, Snow and Song is Disney Princess Danny and its AMAZING. Everyone's reactions to his talents are soooo good and Danny's complete disinterest in the musical versus everyone else's vested interest in Danny being in the musical is HILARIOUS. The animals love him. The choir kids love him. Paulina hates him. It's beautiful.

Yes! It's one of my favs five-rivers has written, but I feel like people barely know about it because it's most easily found on fanfiction.net and only if you're already looking for it because it hasn't updated in like 3 years.

It is on AO3 though!

It is? Whenever I try to Google it nothing shows up for AO3, only fanfiction.net.

The link is right there?? Is it broken?

No it does but that's part of what's so weird to me. But I know now it was mostly my own fault because I'm forgetful.

When I just click on the link it takes me there no problem, but when I try to Google Snow and Song AO3, I get a bunch of results that aren't your fic.

I always forget until I see it, that your AO3 username is different from what it is on Tumblr, so whenever I tried to get more specific with my search in the past, I always tried adding by five_rivers at the end.

Which as you might be able to guess, was entirely unhelpful. Because that isn't the right name.

My bewilderment is further caused by the fact that if I type Snow and Song into AO3's search bar, your fic is the first thing to pop up. Which is what I tested after the link worked.

But because I've only had an AO3 account of my own for a few years now, but have been reading fic for like 13 years, I tend to default to looking stuff up in a search engine instead of using the search function on the website itself.

So I feel like this is more of a case of a decade of habit combined with my bad memory that caused this issue.

Listed in order of nomination. Descriptions of each fic are under the cut. Feel free to reblog and include propaganda!

Listen, Snow and Song is Disney Princess Danny and its AMAZING. Everyone's reactions to his talents are soooo good and Danny's complete disinterest in the musical versus everyone else's vested interest in Danny being in the musical is HILARIOUS. The animals love him. The choir kids love him. Paulina hates him. It's beautiful.

Yes! It's one of my favs five-rivers has written, but I feel like people barely know about it because it's most easily found on fanfiction.net and only if you're already looking for it because it hasn't updated in like 3 years.

It is on AO3 though!

It is? Whenever I try to Google it nothing shows up for AO3, only fanfiction.net.

The Ghost sucks at haunting.

Tim is annoyed, he moved in a new apartment. And it's hunted, he could possible deal with that, but this ghost must be the worst poltergeist in history.

Tim is pretty sure that's one of the worst ghost ever. It's just a roommate who doesn't pay rent and borrows all your stuff without asking.

I'm just imagining a one-sided yelling argument with seemingly no one that lasts almost half, an hour and ends with Tim buying a Nebula subscription lmao

Something about the way this is written gives me the sense that Danny is very young in this.

Like, throwing something because he got frustrated with it? Tantrum, poor emotional regulation often associated with very young children.

Bringing dirty dishes to Authority Figure? Doing them himself when Authority Figure is hurt? Sounds like a little kid being unable to help with something big so they find something smaller helpful to do.

The game save file name. That's either an in joke or someone who just does not know how to lie.

Using Authority Figure's credit card to buy something unapproved because, really, what even is money or credit card fraud?

Obviously there are other ways to interpret the behavior, but when I first read through it, I just immediately read it as a very young child. Which would probably be a hell of a thing for Tim to realize.

Dannys brain got a bit scrambled during whatever deaging process.

So he knows he needs to hide and that being a ghost keans haunting someplace will be his best bet for also being able to meet his human needs.

But also hes bored and hey this adultish person wont notice him doing stuff right?

Oh. He did.

But hes not calling an exorcist so hes not leaving.

Tim, finding out this is a ✨Child✨: Oh no, I'm a father now

#this would be funny on his houseboat too btw#'bought a new boat— ah shit. haunted'#dp x dc – @faeriekit

Oh yes, definitely on the boat.

Bernard and Tim adopt the baby ghost that’s haunting the houseboat.

They note the space magazine subscription and take the boat out (it may look like a murder shack, but it’s seaworthy and secretly souped up with bat tech) up the coast from the city on a clear night so they can get a good view of the stars. Tim produces a telescope and sets it up on the deck and points it at Saturn, which is out tonight. Then he lets it be.

A pale figure of a child forms in front of the eyepiece.

Danny chose the boat because scrambled baby brain has vague memories that the government doesn't like him and he's heard this term 'international waters' before but obviously doesn't quite understand the nuances of it.

Danny disappears as soon as Tim tries to talk to him, so Bernard and Tim spend a good hour reassuring empty space. Mission bring ghost child into the family is a go. To this end, they get an ouija board. And a name.

Tim doesn't want to tell his family about his new child. They'll descend like a pack of jackals and, really, the ghost child is easily frightened. They need to get the kid more comfortable before he is introduced to the family. So he and Bernard brainstorm. An extra (child-sized) portion of food is left out. Tim discreetly mentions a potential new family member to Alfred, and gets cookies to leave out. The ouija board gets a lot of use. Eventually, trust is won, and Danny is introduced to the family.

Tim is officially Bruce's favorite child. And Alfred's favorite grandchild. The others would be upset, but there is currently a battle going on for favorite aunt/uncle status.

The weirdly competent Doctor

So! The Watchtower's Medical Bay is a hub of constant Activity. With the number of Heroes who work under the Justice League, there are always injuries, health check-Ups, and illnesses that need healing.

But with the amount of Variant Biologies that those Heroes have, it's always a guessing game as to how to help them best. Some Metahumans react positively to penicillin, but others react like it's their Kryptonite. Some Aliens have anatomy similar to Humans, others are so different you can't tell the Stomach from the Bladder.

So when they hired a New Doctor for the Medical Bay, they had to run him through an entire Course on Variant Biologies and how best to treat specific Heroes. It was long and difficult to remember fully, but it was necessary for him to know.

But then the new Doctor started correcting Them.

"Actually, Martian's react better to the Syrup of Eucalyptus Plants better than Penicillin, since Eucalyptus is very similar to a medicinal plant from Mars which they used in many of their antibiotics."

"I don't think just pumping double doses of sedative is the best way to calm down a Speedster, that could have adverse effects on their body. Perhaps try Psychic Intervention? Their minds move a Mile a Second, but if you can calm them down their bodies will follow suit."

"Of course you use Micro-Doses of Kryptonite to operate on Superman! What else would you do?! I don't know, maybe ask JLD to enchant your Equipment to make use of Kryptonian suseptiblity to Magic? The Kryptonite is just gonna give him Cancer!"

Of course the Doctors didn't take kindly to being rudely corrected by a newbie, and Fired him on his first day.

Then a few days later their usual Treatments don't work, and they decide to give those strategies the Quack Doctor gave them out of desperation.

And Lo and Behold, they work! Martian Manhunter is fully healed and feels much better than the previous times he has needed surgery. Apparently they used a different Antibiotic that worked better with his Biology. Which was incredible, how had they figured it out?

Another Doctor you say? One who was experienced on Martian Biology and Medicinal History? He would very much like to meet with the man!

...

What do you mean you fired him for talking back?!

“I’m not coming back.” Danny stated plainly.

“As we’ve told you, the staff’s decision to fire you, was not under our jurisdiction. We were not aware of the circumstances nor the gross negligence showed by our staff, this is something we promise to fix.” Batman gruffly said.

Batman droned on, as if reading a corporate script, this comparison only worsened by the man’s monotone voice.

“And I said no. If your staff behave like this to fellow doctors, I don’t want to see what they’d do to stranger.” Danny breathed out, punching his nose. “Your workplace has proven to be toxic and unsustainable, I will not be even considering your offers until you fix the issues set internally.” Silence filled the room, Danny fidgeted uncomfortably. Had he said the sentences Jazz told him to repeat, wrong? He thought he’d remembered it pretty well, but as the awkwardness grew he truly questioned it. “Look Mr Batman, I understand you need better healthcare for your teammates but after years of knowing them and treating their injuries, it’s not my fault none of you thought to experiment with actual healthcare. Your negligence is not my issue to solve. “

The man in front of him slightly bowed his head in acknowledgment. Before speaking once more.

“You are correct. The fault lies on my shoulders for not dedicating time for the well being of my teammates. Things will be slow to fix, could you offer any insight into what to fix first? I know it is a petty consolation gift, but please indulge me.”

Danny hesitated a few seconds, before speaking plainly. “Stop using kryptonite on superman for surgery. You are basically inviting a cancerous cell to go and party in the body of a weakened and injured man. I’m impressed he hasn’t gotten cancer yet,” silence for a few seconds. “Ya know maybe check that out soon? Like as fast as you can? But hey the bright side if he does have cancer he can sue the people who used it for surgery?”

In unrelated news, reporter Clark Kent is taking a leave of absence as a routine health check revealed he has stage 1 cancer.

Breaking news Superman is sueing the JL medical staff for giving him cancer.

Apparently the medical team was microdosing him with kryptonite to do surgeries, with it be on grounds of negligence, or is it something else?

What else has the medical team done to our beloved heroes? Find more out soon

-

Things aren't going as expected.

The Justice League needed some more medical staff but the time it would take to properly train someone to perform medical assistance on multiple species isn't something the league have in spades. So they looked for a doctor who was already trained, and they did, the search was a great success!

Apparently, the medical team didn't think so. On the doctor's first day he was fired after pointing out ways to better treat the league.

The fact that Superman of all people has cancer? Does Not Look Good.

Listed in order of nomination. Descriptions of each fic are under the cut. Feel free to reblog and include propaganda!

Listen, Snow and Song is Disney Princess Danny and its AMAZING. Everyone's reactions to his talents are soooo good and Danny's complete disinterest in the musical versus everyone else's vested interest in Danny being in the musical is HILARIOUS. The animals love him. The choir kids love him. Paulina hates him. It's beautiful.

Yes! It's one of my favs five-rivers has written, but I feel like people barely know about it because it's most easily found on fanfiction.net and only if you're already looking for it because it hasn't updated in like 3 years.

Listed in order of nomination. Descriptions of each fic are under the cut. Feel free to reblog and include propaganda!

"My turn."

Danny was surprised, after everything he did and almost did, to be getting yet another chance. Damn that kid, he didn't deserve it. But Danny, the younger, the present version, just didn't know how to give up on someone.

So, of course, Danny, the future, the unmoored, would change his name and protect the little squirt after everything. Protecting was still there, somewhere, in his twisted brain.

Jordan, so he'd still have some tie, but Danny could also keep his name.

Now though, he had an even newer name. One he never expected to have, not after everything. Dying, his family dying, killing his own human half, and then almost killing the Squirt's family just so he wouldn't be alone. He'd hoped beyond hope that he'd just cease to exist when Danny had chosen and assured in every way he could that he wouldn't turn into Jordan.

If he didn't have that damned Time medallion, he'd have gotten his wish back then. But then... where would the Squirt be? Who would be taking care of him after all of that?

Whatever in the Seven Hells had hit the kid, it wasn't pretty. Frostbite had had Danny in a healing stasis for months before he stopped improving and started declining. As much as the Yetis knew about healing ghosts, Halfas still had a living element that needed to be nurtured in a living world.

That weapon hadn't existed in Jordan's time, so he didn't know how to help, beyond taking a little vengeance. That's what he was good at, anyway. He wasn't a great protector anymore, but he had to revive that part of himself now.

Nanda Parbat was somewhere Jordan remembered fondly. It hadn't fixed him in any way, shape, or form, but it was definitely a good place with a surprising amount of protection. The negotiations with the local entity went well, so that's where they were settled.

Most of Danny's memories were more than a little shot, but he hadn't lost anything important. Tiny bodies had tiny body needs, no matter how mature the mind and core.

With a tiny, sleep-warm body in his arms and a laptop in front of him, Jordan was working remote. Just numbers, input, output, copy, paste. Editing for a newspaper before publishing. Whatever he could do.

A sleepy, fuzzy, mumbled, "Daddy?" Almost startled him into jumping. The sound cut him right to the heart. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve the trusting little core that reached out to his with recognition but no fear.

"Hey, Squirt. It's almost supper time, little buddy."

The tiniest yawn he'd ever heard. "Amity?"

"Safe and sound. Masters and Gray are holding up just fine."

Danny hummed and cuddled closer, absolutely drowning Jordan in warmth. "Thank you."

"Of course, Squirt. You saved them more times than anyone ever bothered to count. You saved me. Now," he murmured as he pressed his chin into the fuzzy hair atop Danny's head, "it's My Turn to protect you."

For the first time in more than ten years, Jordan's eyes glowed green instead of red as he pushed energy forward to surround his charge in a blanket of protection and safety.

Clockwork: Alfred! You're calling me! Hi!

Alfred: Yes, hello, Clockwork. I know it's been a while since we last spoke-

Clockwork: It's been fifty years, three months, five days, and four hours since our last conversation.

Alfred: Have you been counting?

Clockwork: *Hiding his time staff behind his back* No.

Alfred: Right, because that would be silly of you. We broke up ages ago.

Clockwork: Yes, quite silly. It's not like I broke a law of order to extend your lifetime or that I made it so age does not have a hold of you, allowing you to keep the mobile abilities of a twenty-seven year old.

Alfred: That's true. Most of my acquaintances near my age are always complaining of the aches in their bones. I appreciate it.

Clockwork: Of course. Anything for you.

Alfred: I still age though?

Clockwork: Yes but very slowly. You'll outlive Bruce Wayne.

Alfred: ....you made me immortal.

Clockwork: Yes! :D

Alfred: Can I trade my immortality to turn back time for twenty four hours?

Clockwork: What?

Alfred: The reason I called you was because my grandson Jason Todd died earlier today. I was hoping you would do me a favor and allow me to go back to yesterday and save the lad. I was going to offer my soul for this favor, but if I can trade my immortality, that would be fine too.

Clockwork: But - without a soul, you would suffer a punishment worse than death, and without your immortality, time would catch up to you, leaving you in extreme pain!

Alfred: I'm fine with that. All I want is to save my dear boy.

Clockwork: How....how about a counter offer!? I'll have one of my men save your boy by turning back time, and you won't have to give up either!

Alfred: What of the price? We both know that for all your power a price must be paid for alternating fate.

Clockwork: Don't worry about that. You see fate has already fortold this path. Remember I see all.

Alfred: *Smiling* Thank you

Clockwork: *Flustered* O-of course.

Two hours later

Danny: So I'm going back in time to save a boy from getting beaten to death by Joker

Clockwork: Yes.

Danny: Is he someone important?

Clockwork: Why yes, he is. Congratulations, you're engaged.

Danny: WHAT?!

Clockwork: Look Fate only allows for changes if it's in the name of true love.

Danny: True love!? I don't even know him?!

Clockwork: No, my true love.

Danny: Are you talking about the English Butler that dumped you!? He's never coming back Clockwork!

Clockwork: You don't know that!

Danny: I seriously do!

Clockwork: Just go save your fience! I have to pretty myself up when we deliver him to Alfred. I'm getting my man back.

Danny: You're delusional!