Let’s play the ‘is my shitty productivity a result of my mental illnesses or do i just use my mental illnesses to excuse my lazy behavior’ game.
#personal#safe to reblog#god damn it#i need to stop acting like this#i've had ALL FUCKING WEEK to write this essay#and literally NOTHING ELSE#and i still have not written one god damn word#i don't know man#sometimes it feels like i'm just using my depression#and shit#to excuse my shitty avoidance behavior#EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I'd be better if i just got it done#like oh its done#you can go party all week#but NO#I'm just letting it grow bigger and bigger#until it fuckin crushes me#cause i don't have motivation#or is that just an excuse i'm making to be a lazy asshole!#I DON'T FUCKING KNOW AND IT PISSES ME OFF#i know it's probably both#the essay's not due til monday morning#but still#fuck me man#i hate myself for doing this#why can't i just fucking do the thing on time like i know i should#why am i fucking like this#i wish i loved myself enough to stop#but i don't so fuck me