ALWAYS CHASE YOUR DREAMS!

[on a magic carpet made of money that you just have]

Excuse me she was WHAT

I really struggled to believe this until I looked it up

You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip the game from his hands, stash it in my backpack, and force him to enjoy history goddamnit. This vacation cost a lot and the game is only for the hotel and travel time.

imagine trying to force someone to think that stonehenge is fun

take your kids places they actually want to go instead of getting mad when they quietly self-entertain, he’s not hurting nobody. me & my shitbag siblings would be climbing that fucking thing, gameboy kid is doing alright

Some small child: does not yet have the mental development or contextual understanding to appreciate why these particular rocks are extra interesting.

Some adult: God I hate that children don’t think like adults! I would force them to pretend they do because I interpret child thought patterns as a personal insult!

Child: *looks at rocks for approx. 30 seconds, listens to vaguely interesting story about them for another minute or so, glances at the rocks again, is Now Done.

Parent: I understand that your attention span has done all it can with the stimulation provided. Here is your gameboy to keep you entertained while the adults talk about things you don’t find interesting, like the history of very large rocks.

Child: *quietly squats down and plays with the gameboy, allowing adults to enjoy their rocks*

Parent: I am very glad that I understand to some extent how children’s minds work, or this holiday would be a miserable experience for both of us. How fortunate that I planned ahead to allow my child periods of rest and quiet entertainment during excursions that are primarily for my benefit and enjoyment.

As an older sister of four I can confidently say that it’s this, or the bored, tired child screaming, yelling or jumping around everywhere, ruining the trip for parents and siblings, and cementing it in their head that trips like this a boring so that they’ll have developed a profound dislike by the time they can actually appreciate this. 

Gameboys/tablets are a godsend for both older relatives and the children, and the child will probably still participate more than if they were upset/bored the whole time. 

That little boy is like what, seven? 

So the US Army started streaming again

When congress members were talking about getting the military off of Twitch, l swear to you, I thought they meant ads...

Top 10 sentences that make you burst into tears.

at first i thought the ‘child’ wanted to say twelve… but it’s funnier when you imagine they were going to say twenty

When we begin eating the rich, Bernie says start with Elon Musk

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

I found this really important tiktok about what to do if a Jehovah's Witness or Morman missionary comes to your door:

I spent some time in a Jehovah's Witness church. They're exceptionally skilled at recruiting people into their church. (And I was an ATHEIST)

I left after a couple months, I stayed just long enough to see that they explicitly believe women are inferior to men, and of course, that homosexuality is a sin on par with murder.

The whole missionary door to door thing is NOT how Jehovah's Witnesses recruit. That is how they convince their members that the world is out to get them. One of the first things they teach is that Jesus requires you to try to convert non Christians to the faith. (They say non Christian but mean non JW.)

Then they say, "look how people treat us, just for the crime of wanting to save their soul"

They have long time church members tutor the incoming members to smooth the process over. They're trained to smooth away any doubts you may have about the church.

It is a textbook cult but because it's a Christian cult, nobody will do anything about it.

Marry that man

holy fuck the breadth of emotion in this video is astounding

That looked screamed “HELP ME”

This is just July

Years from now how are we going to explain this year to our grandchildren

yo is this real 

do you ever get stuck in between “it’s ok not to have everything on track i got time” and “i’ve already wasted my life at the ripe old age of 23”

dancing lessons in the streets of seattle 

These are around the corner from the shop I work at, it’s always funny seeing people occasionally trying out the steps in the sidewalk

That’s adorbs

I’m gonna post some memes for a fandom that doesn’t exist

I consider this a success. 

Don’t @ me if you think Tatyus was morally justified. He’s problematic and if you don’t think otherwise you probably support parental abandonment and Eugenisism!

Hot Take maybe but

I’m jumping in with some hot takes (Mozenta stans don’t come for me, I just think that some others deserve screen time SMH-)

In a way, they already are a real thing.

I’m just going to drop some memes I’ve been saving. Since season 5 aired I got very exhausted with the whole fandom so I didn’t post any of them.

Also Beligrad deserves more love you guys.