hey my dude ive got to say if you think being thought of as gay is Damaging and harmful youve got to seriously rethink that. u are basically saying u think its insulting to be called gay. holy shit dude it doesnt damage a person if someone thinks theyre gay. before delving into anything else, i just read this line “I feel that a lot of the time it’s just simply the opportunity to take jabs at “the straights”’ … and? i 100% agree that a lot of these posts are intended to take jabs at straight people. but it just… not a bad thing to do that dude. you phrased it as if its a bad thing? you’re kind of out here saying heterophobia exists? yes queer people should feel free to “take jabs” at the straights, since straight people are who create and uphold queerphobic societies and institutions. heterophobia… does not exist. there is no system of society designed to oppress and harm straight people. in fact, every single society out there treats straightness as the ideal to the detriment of every other sexuality. that’s why “heterophobic” jokes are a thing that queer people do- its a response to homophobic societies, to the culture of heteronormativity that oppresses and harms them. posts about “the straights” are harming exactly zero (0) straight people because heterophobia doesn’t exist on an institutional scale. i know you said you’re bi, but since we’re all raised in an aggressively queerphobic society, even queer people can perpetuate harmful ideals so. like i’m bi as well, and i can tell you that in my past i have held misinformed beliefs on this topic. the dynamics of queer people spreading queerphobic stuff vs cishet people is obviously different, because in the 1st case it involves people internalizing harmful shit about their own self but it doesnt change the fact that lgbtq people can hold cisheterormative opinions.
trying to equate queer speculation to cishet “speculation” is honestly just so utterly devoid of historical context. queer communities (especially in the past!) were formed around queer assumptions. queer culture/queer fashion/etc arose from them. because being queer is not something can immediately see right away. as a result of this, queer culture arose in an attempt to identify queer people out in the open without explicitly saying that ur queer. being able to recognize other queer people a) is what has allowed queer ppl to form communities where they can support each other through shared struggles that come from being queer in a cisheteronormative world b) is what allowed queer people to know whether its safe to out themselves to a person, be it for the aforementioned community or even just for things like relationships. outing yourself to cishet people is oftentimes dangerous so queer people need to devise ways to navigate these situations without being harmed. this is why queer assumptions exist, this is why queer people so often talk about “gaydar.” to pretend that queer assumptions havent played a role in history and how we’ve attained visibility is completely disingenuous. and this extends to music as well!! queer people making music about their identity are not always allowed to be straightforward about it. instead they’ll queercode their art so other queer people can pick up on it and understand it while not outing themselves to cishet people. this is something thats limited to interpersonal interaction. theres a whole page on wikipedia detailing the concept of “gay icons” my dude the idea of pop stars being “iconic” in lgbtq communities is not new.
anyway i just threw out that whole preamble in an effort to show why you cant really compare cishet assumptions with queer assumptions. this is on top of the fact that cishet assumptions are enforced by society. like queer assumptions are cishet assumptions are not coming from the same place dude? cishet assumptions come from the idea that everyone is cishet unless clarified. they come the notion that cishet is the default, which is why straight people don’t need to come out but queer people do. they come from a society that presents people with straight as the only option, and not only that, but forces people to think they’re straight.
queer assumptions are queer people telling others that we exist. when the “default” is cishet, when the status quo rests on thinking that everyone is cishet, the only way to challenge is to actively go out of your way to assert that queer people exist. when people are silent, theyre not being “neutral” they’re allowing a cishet default to remain unchallenged.
heteronormativity exists but theres not such thing as “queernormativity” lmao so. speculating about people being straight is different than talking about them being queer because you cant extract societal context out of it all. cishet assumptions are backed by centuries of straightness being Obligatory, so assumptions that Everyone Is Cishet originate from and play into a system where everyone needs to be straight. there is zero equivalent for queerness so its impossible to compare them. we don’t live in cultural vacuums. its not “damaging to deem anyone gay OR straight” unless you want to ignore context. speaking of context, can you not see how its really iffy to say “assuming someone is queer Damages them” lmao? when cishet people are always out there acting like its wrong and filthy to be gay? the whole “no homo” thing is a Whole Phrase straight people have created because they think its such a huge insult to be gay. like.. no its not? not unless you think its inherently a negative thing to be queer? if i wrongly assume that someone is queer, that’s not an insult my dude, unless you think its insulting to be queer. we make wrong guesses about people all the time. if i wrongly thought that someones favorite color is blue when its actually red, is that wrong assumption Bad? is it harmful? obviously not. so why is there this double standard with queer assumptions. if you think its just Different somehow perhaps u should examine why. because its super!! fucked!! up!! if you think that someone being wrongly thought to be gay is Insulting and Damaging and hurtful
anyway this has gone off into like.. three different tangents just because i think context is super important and discussing these things without context won’t provide meaningful conversation. obviously we aren’t obliged to know. but queer fans celebrating queer themes that jonghyun Himself writes into music is not us obligating him to out himself. i’ve seen this weirdly common line of thought where that if queer fans appreciate jonghyuns queer themes in his music, we’re a) not appreciating the music (? is it mutually exclusive to appreciate music and appreciate how gay some songs are) or b) reducing him to his sexuality when hes just A Human Like This Rest Of Us. and listen. why is someone being queer different than him being human…why does queer people celebrating queer things mean we’re taking away from his humanity..does celebrating someones queerness stand at odds w their humanity for u…… and Please we’ve got to rid ourselves of the notion that being queer is only okay when we say stuff like “um hes not just a gay hes a HUMAN !!!!!!” because that implies u can only respect gay people when u can ignore theyre gay and pretend that theyre just A Human.
queer ppl shouldnt be celebrated In Spite Of the fact that theyre queer, but taking into account that they are queer and acknowledging how being queer is okay. while being queer doesnt mean u Have To feel/think a certain way, it often gives u specific experiences (with regards to dealing w queerphobia, dealing w the closet, etc) that straight people dont have. again,… thats why we have a queer community, bc of the shared experiences from dealing w similar struggles. so Yes the fact that someone is queer can have a big impact on their life, and this spills over into the art and music they create. we should be celebrating this !! we shouldnt be trying to erase the queerness out of something to make it Respectable we should be like yeah u know what this thing is Gay as fuck and thats why its amazing (which is smth especially important to do as a response to being told that gay things are terrible!! thats how u normalize being gay… by letting it be something that is spoken of openly) and Again what the fuck is with this double standard that when people say “wow jonghyun is so gay” we’re not Paying Enough Attention To His Music ! people say things like “wow jonghyun is so beautiful” all the time why the Fuck isnt that met with “um Pay attention to his music instead :).” whats the double standard here? why is one okay and not the other? its almost like… Its treated as taboo to openly talk about queerness…..its almost like this double standard is only applied 2 queerness bc we see it as something that ought to be hidden away and not spoken of…if u continue treating queerness as something thats Impolite and Too Personal to talk about, all u do is perpetuate the notion that queer ppl should never explicitly say theyre queer and are only okay when they can be relegated to the shadows.
i’ve definitely gone off into a tangent here but: whatever jonghyuns sexuality is, he’s put out music that resonates with a lot of queer fans, that carries with it a lot of queer themes. hes put out music thats just Explicitly not straight and anyone who denies this fact cannot claim they’re just being neutral anymore, since theyre are making an active effort to erase themes out of a song. that’s besides the point- the point is that jonghyun whos music is something that a lot of lgbtq fans identify with, and when he releases a teaser with a queer symbol on it, queer fans are allowed to be happy!! theyre allowed to celebrate!! theyre allowed to make posts that are ultimately lighthearted!! its not a joke that jonghyun writes queer music, but the tone of something like “unfollow me if u think his album isnt for The Gays” is obviously… not serious in tone lmao. like to reiterate, those posts aren’t Joking in the sense that they think the idea of jonghyun writing queer music is Funny or Just a Joke to not be taken seriously (i can tell u that i, with 100% dead seriousness that i do think jonghyuns music is often Very Gay) but lmao the tone of those posts that weave in ‘heterophobia’ are clearly ways for queer people to Celebrate queer music and also having fun by saying humorous stuff. and literally none of this is obligating jonghyun to out himself? its so wild to me that someone would care about some queer fans saying Wow story op 2 is gay, instead of understanding the system of heteronormativity that forces people to remain in the closet, unable to come out without literally risking their lives and careers. one of these things is enforced on an Institutional Level and ingrained into every aspect of society and one of these is not. ignoring historical context will will get u literally nowhere and only lead to shallow interpretations like ‘queer/cishet assumptions are Equally Bad’
