Take a Deep Breath

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

how dare you say we piss on the poor

all hail the 1 million note Piss Post

Got off a video call with my grandma. Asked her what sort of American foods she was enjoying (my dad flew her in from Korea and she's staying with him in Phoenix rn). She said most of the food isn't too impressive but she's addicted to a specific candy, and when she held up a bag of Werther's Originals I started howling

i dropped by my favourite secondhand bookstore and found what is possibly the most incredible knitting book iver ever seen. that teaches you how to knit little gardens and sew them into a massive quilt 3d. the photos i took are atrocious and do NOT do this book justice

thats a PRIORY GARDEN WITH MONKS

IT EVEN TEACHES YOU HOW TO MAKE ALL THE TOOLS ABD BASKETS AND POTS AND PLANTS

LOOK AT THE SOME OF THE FOLIAGE

i have never been more upset to not have $30 ready to buy this. its incredible. i have to find it online somewhere. i knew the moment i saw this i had to share it with EVERYONE

[ID: Two screencaps from Taskmaster. Greg Davies says, “A four-slice toaster. Someone’s doing well.” Victoria Coren Mitchell replies happily, “It’s got a bagel setting.” End ID.]

Rewatching Desolation of Smaug and had almost forgotten about Thorin being absolutely unhinged and bullying Smaug into firing up their forge WITHOUT WARNING HIS COMPANY

nick has done it again

please support this interracial french gay couple and their 20 kids

“le couple homosexuel interracial français milieu a vingt enfants” en fait c’est une erreur statistique. georgs d'enfants, qui habite dans une cave et adopte dix mille enfants chaque jour, est une donnée aberrante et il faudrait pas l’avoir compté

I don’t even speak French and I know what that paragraph says

“georgs d'enfants” how does it feel to be the funniest person here

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”

If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.

So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”

Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.

See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.

you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.

You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

[ID: tags: "#that wasn't a lie though the big ball did go night night #it went to the great night night that awaits us all" /end ID]

scantily is basically the most classic way to be clad

This is iron clad erasure

I need to live long enough for the opportunity to say "the iron in which your argument is clad is scanty"

sorry about the weird half page the first sheet of free paper on my desk was the sheet of tracing/transfer paper I was using for a commission

anyways i'm back into the commission mines, enjoy!

We got one very hilarious win

i desperately need people to realize there's a difference between "women need to coddle (cis) men's feelings even when they're being misogynistic uwu" and "we shouldn't tolerate misogyny but actively keeping men separate from women and treating them like they're inherently dangerous to women is only going to worsen the problem (and also this mindset causes IMMEASURABLE harm to nonbinary, trans, and intersex people, who are already incredibly at risk right now)" and i need people to realize that NOW

My mom went to high school with this guy and showed me this Facebook post of his and if I were not already happily married……………..

I saw something at spirit Halloween tonight