falling

having just transferred back to the local high school from boarding school out in the city, he—not unexpectedly—got lost on his first day attending classes in the singular campus that every kid in the small town went to school at. 

it was certainly an adjustment. while he did spend his summers and other breaks at home, he never bothered interacting with any of the local kids his age; he just didn’t see a point to it. 

he was going be gone for most of the year, after all, and there’s never enough time for him to cultivate friendships.

people his age never seemed all that willing to talk to him anyway, given that he also happened to be the son of the rich, scary lawyer who somehow still lived in the tiny town that was an hour away from where he worked in the nation’s capital. his reticent nature coupled with his tendency towards ‘deviant’ behaviors—his dress, vices, purported sexuality—and the revival of the small town gossip that had jumped on him being sent off to boarding school certainly didn’t help his case when he came back .

(not that he really cares. he only stuck around for his baby brother, but from what he can tell, he isn't needed that much; his mother and father give Sean the attention and care they never thought to give to their eldest.)

so he can't do much but try to endure the latter half of his junior year and then his senior year and all the ramifications that come with him being stuck in close quarters with his family for a prolonged period of time.

just a year and a half before he can finally leave the stifling small town he grew up in.

A Mixed Blessing

Chapter List

chapter ten: unspeakable love

a/n: Moving along. Warning for violence/assault, hospital stuff, drugs.

Aaron wakes up. ~2.8k

At first the only difference he was aware of was the smell, the scents of pine needles and dense soil replaced by the reek of astringents. This was followed by the brightness of florescent bulbs drilling into his eyes through his closed eyelids. He knew he needed to open them, to take stock of his surroundings, to reorient himself to the waking world. The last thing he remembered was falling into an inky black darkness, chased down by the howls of wolves that blending with his own voice. Now he was silent as a wash of sound built around him, voices pitched high with fear, the crashing of machines and metal doors. He knew he should have a reaction to this, that this chaos should spur him to movement. But he couldn’t quite grasp onto that before sinking back under, the shrill of an alarm sounding in the distance.

When he woke up again he was a little more lucid. Enough to notice the faded blue gown, the chill of the air on his bare arms. He felt a pinch at his elbow when he tried to move, reaching for the first hint of an itch, the tip of his nose a warning of torment to come. An IV stuck out of his arm, its rubber tube running up and out of his field of vision. There were voices around him but he couldn’t see anyone. He didn’t remember changing, didn’t remember being brought into this blinding, disinfected room. It was the opposite of where he’d made his last conscious decision. He couldn’t see around his confusion, his mind dragging back his memories, cumbersome and uncooperative images. He tried arranging and rearranging them like scenes from a story, believing he could follow them to this moment if only he could place them in the right order.

Weiterlesen

A Mixed Blessing

a/n: If you were here for the beginning of this, you’ll know this is not a nice ride. Things are serious, themes are dark and a lot of demons are present. We’re still in the thick of it but I will say, everything is not hopeless. It’s still a struggle but now we’re struggling towards the light.

A little summary of events so far: Aaron has a terrible home life that he’s been trying to outrun for years. Unable to find physical safety or comfort, he began leaning into drugs and alcohol to escape. In high school he meets an older boy who shares a similar background and shows Aaron the attention and understanding he’d been lacking. It feels perfect. However, Cole is unstable and pulls them both deeper into a dangerous addiction, all the while becoming yet another example to Aaron of the way love and pain are unavoidably intertwined. There is a brief moment when he meets Haley when it seems like things might turn around for him, only to be dragged back into Cole’s orbit once more. Feeling reckless and like he doesn’t belong anywhere, like there’s no one that cares, Aaron takes an excessive hit and lets fate handle the consequences.

warning for descriptions of injuries & overdose aftermath; ~2.8k

chapter eight: and the ghosts

The stage lights were bright in her eyes as she took her final bow, the sound of applause almost enough to drown out the nagging worry that had chased her from scene to scene. She hadn’t spotted Aaron all night. She squinted into the audience, thinking maybe he’d come late and been relegated to the sidelines. Or maybe he’d forgotten entirely. She wouldn’t be that surprised with the way things had been going. Disappointed certainly, but the antagonism between him and the theater teacher had only intensified. His behavior had been too erratic to ever fit in despite her best efforts to conjure goodwill toward him from the group.

She was swept off stage by the bubbling cast, voices chattering over one another, everyone riding the high of adrenaline that followed an opening night success. No one else seemed to miss one tall, dark-haired pirate. With unease winding up her spine, Haley decided to skip going to the green room and instead diverted to the stairs by passing through the wing offstage. Her long skirts were dragged by an object on the ground, half buried in shadows. Pausing to bend over and pick it up, her fingers became icy as her blood drained away and was replaced by fear. It was the ratty pirate hat she knew belonged to Aaron. The stitching was loose and she’d been meaning to fix it for him before the show. He kept forgetting to bring it to her. He’d promised her he wouldn’t forget it tonight.

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A Mixed Blessing: Act Two

The stage lights were bright in her eyes as she took her final bow, the sound of applause almost enough to drown out the nagging worry that had chased her from scene to scene. She hadn’t seen Aaron all night. She squinted into the audience, thinking maybe he’d come late and been relegated to the sidelines. Or maybe he’d forgotten entirely. She wouldn’t be that surprised with the way things had been going. Disappointed certainly, but the antagonism between him and the theater teacher had only intensified. His behavior had been too erratic to ever fit in despite her best efforts to conjure goodwill toward him from the group.

She was swept off stage by the bubbling cast, voices chattering over one another, everyone riding the high of adrenaline that followed an opening night success. No one else seemed to miss one tall, dark-haired pirate. With unease winding up her spine, Haley decided to skip going to the green room and instead diverted to the stairs by passing through the wing offstage. Her long skirts were dragged by an object on the ground, half buried in shadows. Pausing to bend over and pick it up, her fingers became icy as her blood drained away and was replaced by fear. It was the ratty pirate hat she knew belonged to Aaron. The stitching was loose and she’d been meaning to fix it for him before the show. He kept forgetting to bring it to her. He’d promised her he wouldn’t forget it tonight.

She moved faster then, perplexed about where he could be. Clearly he’d been here so why wasn’t he still backstage? She hurried into the sea of bodies, currents of movement swirling every which way as people stood in groups to chat or drifted idly toward the exits. She struggled to spot her family, midway back, waiting for her in an aisle. Fixated on Aaron’s non-appearance, she couldn’t make sense of their smiling faces. In turn, buzzing from their enjoyment of her performance, they couldn’t recognize her worry. Only Jessica, as her sister came closer, began to grow puzzled at Haley’s obvious distress.

She continued scanning the people, searching for one towering shape as she crossed over to her family. Hoping this was just a mistake, just a hiccup in the evening she had planned so well. This was supposed to be a turning point. This was the night he was going to meet her family. She’d told him how important it was.

But he wasn’t there.

Forfeits

a/n: hello friends. how are we doing? springly? a bird built a nest outside our window and now I hear baby birds squeaking all damn day. makes me crazy but it’s cute, just like torturing teen Hotch is cute. right? warning for some domestic violence and general bad times. please enjoy and I’m sorry if it makes you sad.

Haley is an unexpected dinner guest at the Hotchner house. ~6.6k

“What are you doing?”

The question was innocent enough. The curiosity genuine and nonjudgemental.

He turned to look at her, blinking the light from his eyes. He didn’t know what she was talking about, if she had said something before that he was supposed to respond to.

“You keep staring off and listening. What’re you trying to hear?”

It was a Wednesday afternoon and they had their school books spread across the table. They were meant to be studying for a test but they hadn’t made it through the first page of the study guide. She kept having to repeat questions when she got nothing but blank stares in response. It wasn’t like he didn’t know the material. Plenty of other people would write this off as laziness or ineptitude. They had been doing so for years. But she knew better, knew it wasn’t a lack of work ethic.

History was his favorite subject after all. He was often surprising her with little bits of trivia, details about life in other times. Once, she’d asked him where he got all that information and he had shrugged looking away, suddenly shy. I read a lot when I was a kid. For a moment it had seemed like he wanted to say more and she’d held her breath. But he’d only moved on to whatever the next question had been.

Weiterlesen

“Write more in 2022” she said. LOL. But I’ve been slowly creeping through a bit of teen Hotch torture that’s almost done. Here’s a little preview if you’d like.

…

The back door slammed like a gunshot, followed by little feet and a squealing voice calling Aaron’s name. The color in his face completely drained away and she could see the muscles in his jaw jump. He looked like he was going to be sick, or, worse, start crying. Half a second later a small boy barreled into the room and threw himself against Aaron’s side. He was talking quickly and Haley struggled to make out anything coherent. Aaron smoothed the little boy’s hair and murmured sounds of agreement. He was still tense, still alert to sounds beyond the room, but his hands and voice were gentle as he let Sean spin out stories of his day.

Haley sat back down, playing with her pen as she tried not to stare too obviously. She’d heard about Sean, not much but occasionally Aaron would let slip a detail about his little brother. The blue-eyed, blond haired boy, so different from him that it seemed doubtful they were related. Every time he talked about Sean though, she could see how deeply he cared, how great of an importance Aaron put on their relationship. This was the side of him people missed, the side she’d tried desperately to convince her mother, her sister, her friends of. If only she could find a way to show them this, maybe people wouldn’t look at her so strangely, disturbed by her choice of company.

At first, when Aaron hadn’t talked much about his family, she figured it was just typical teenage behavior—who wants to talk about their families that they see all the time? She and Jessica went so far as to pretend not to know each other at school sometimes just to get a break from someone who was otherwise constantly in their business. So it hadn’t seemed that strange. But the longer it went that they were friends, the more he learned about her own family, the more he spent time with them, it began to feel lopsided. She had an almost rabid desire to learn more about who he was and where he came from.

She’d ask question after question, casually working them into conversations with the hope of surprising a detail out of him. All she got were the barest answers. She thought it sounded like they didn’t really get along but he’d been so shocked the first time he was present for a fight between her and Jess, had nearly gotten sick over it. Once he’d calmed down she’d asked him, didn’t his family ever fight? It wasn’t unusual in the Brooks’ house for passions to get high and shouting matches to take place, only to be followed later in the evening by a shared pint of ice cream and laughter on the couch. He’d looked alarmed at the thought. No, of course not.

Hear me out: Roy was a single dad and Haley didn’t have an angelic childhood either because her mother died when she was young.

Her death is hard enough but imagine Roy watch as his own history repeats itself with his daughter and son-in-law.

Roy knows he messed up while raising Haley and Jessica. Wasn’t there enough or drank too much. Was too bitter or too lenient.

He wants better for Jack and never gives Hotch the chance all to prove he can do right. He assumes Hotch will walk the same lines he did, make the same mistakes, and never forgives him for losing Haley

the moment that i saw you with someone else

Aaron walks down the hallways with his hands shoved in his pocket. His friend, Ryan, is walking beside him blabbing about his football game coming up. Aaron was nodding along with him but only half-listening to what he was saying. He couldn’t care less about football but it didn’t matter because he knew Ryan felt the same way whenever he talked about Pride and Prejudice. As they were walking down the hallway, Aaron bumps into someone making a stack of files drop into the ground.

“Watch where you’re going, Hotchner”

Aaron looks down to see Haley Brooks on the ground, picking up fliers for their next theater performance. He watches as she tucks her blonde hair behind her ear as she scrambles to pick up the papers.

“You know, there is something called a paperclip. Ever heard of it?” Aaron asks, earning a chuckle from Ryan. Haley looks up to the raven-haired boy and frowns.

“As a matter of fact, I have. Now, are you going to help me or not?” Haley snaps. Aaron sighs and bends down and picks up the fliers. Haley turns to face Ryan who is still watching them with amusement.

“You too, Bertier”, Haley adds, making Ryan also bend down on the ground. It takes a couple of seconds for them to pick up all the fliers from the ground. Once they’re done, Haley snatches the papers from both of them.

“You're welcome,” Aaron says, making Haley roll her eyes. She then walks past them towards the theatre room. Aaron watches as she walks away from him, smirking.

My Baby's Got A Gun

Major Character Death, Blood, Guns, Abuse

Haley/Hotch by a matter of technicality

Haley sneaks out in the middle of a snow storm to see Aaron.

Word Count: just shy of 3k

Inspired by Mother Mother's Hayloft 2 because it's a banger (haha get it?)

My Baby’s Got A Gun

An eye for an eye, a leg for a leg A shot in the heart doesn't make it unbreak She really didn't wanna make it messy She really, really didn't, but the girl gone cray

The grandfather clock in the parlor strikes midnight, three chimes ringing through the house and authorizing Haley the all-clear. She’s already dressed to withstand the storm outside, the hard part is sneaking out. Jessica is supposed to be the bad Brooke’s daughter – always a new streak of color in her hair and a boyfriend on her arm but Haley is making a quick, easy name for herself lately.

The snow crunching under her shoes, she stops just a moment only three steps off the porch to glance over her shoulder. All the lights in the house are off, she didn’t even dare with the porch light, but her heart still pounds with the anticipation of her misdeed. With the idea of breaking rules and being caught.

But no one knows she’s sneaking out and by morning, when her father comes outside to curse and spit at the snow while he brushes it off the car, her tracks will be covered by more inches of snow. She won’t be caught, no one will suspect a thing.

tw child abuse

Haley’s parents never liked him.

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tw: references to child abuse

Jessica has always liked Hotch. Even when their parents hated him, citing his poor track record, more days absent than spent going to school, the fights, the bruises, the scowl, the reputation. It helped that she loved and trusted her sister: if Haley really thought someone was worth her time, then Jessica was willing to give him a shot.

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quítate ese miedo

a/n: Happy new years to yall. I’m sorry I’ve been so utterly delinquent with putting out stories (which I imagine that’s generally what you are here for? I don’t have anything else to offer). My big hope for me this year is to write more, so here we go. No warnings. It’s nice, I swear. ~4.7k

Haley gets her license. They go for a drive.

“I got it!”

Aaron looked up from his geometry book that he’d been frowning over for the last forty-five minutes to find Haley standing in the entryway, blue eyes shining and cheeks flushed. Wisps of hair had begun to fall out of her high ponytail, softening the severity of her outfit. Jessica had made fun of her that morning as she left the house for her driver’s test wearing a navy blue blazer and pointed flats she’d borrowed from their mother. Haley had wanted to look professional and mature but Jessica insisted that nothing could hide her teenage acne and obvious need for braces. Haley had screeched, swinging her bag at her older sister while the other girl laughed and skipped backward.

Aaron, standing at the sink cleaning up breakfast, had only just managed to keep hold of the plate he’d been scrubbing. He’d rolled his shoulders, attempting to mask the way he’d jumped at the loud sound but they were so caught up with one another, neither had noticed. He often found himself fighting the urge to shrink into himself at the sharp, sudden chaos of their semi-friendly sibling teasing. Despite having lived there for nearly two months now, he could never understand the way their relationship rolled so easily from sweetness to bitter argument and back again so smoothly, as if neither held a memory longer than a few minutes. No matter how loudly they screamed at each other, it was never long before they were smiling and joking together. It made Aaron dizzy.

Now Haley was back, a triumphant freshly minted legal driver, sixteen years old and ready to terrorize the roads. Aaron couldn’t help smiling, infected by her excitement. It was one of the most confusing but also wonderful things about her. The way she made life seem open, like the possibilities were endless and he had every right to take part in it. She never questioned his presence or made him feel like he was a darkness creeping at the edges of her happiness (as he knew himself to be). Even though he was only a stray that had slunk into their home, she made sure he was included as part of the family.

“Come on,” she insisted, flipping his math book closed with one hand and waving the keys with the other. “It’s time to go.”

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Thanksgiving

just a short little Hotch and Haley (& Jessica) thing

“How’s Aaron?”

She can see him from here, listening to her father speak with that look in his eyes he gets any time he’s near Roy. It makes her throat tighten, her face flush. He’ll swear it’s better this way for him, that his father’s death was a relief and it’s too painful to see his mother. Not when she looks at him like he’s still five, his little fingers clutching her sundress. Not when he can never forget the nights she left him alone in that house. Not when he can still hear his own screams bouncing off the walls. Feel the chill of her breaking eye contact, the moment she decided it was just easier to let him go. He wakes up in the middle of the night still and has to sleep on the floor -- he spent seventeen years squeezed underneath his bed and it’s hard to shake that fear. He hasn’t spoken to Sean in months, not since Aaron had to pay his bail. He didn’t even tell Haley, he was gone for three days. Just long enough time to get Sean home and clean for a few hours.

Then he comes here. He rolls up his sleeves and stands beside her mother while she’s cooking, waiting for her to tell him what to do. He pulls down into himself like a little boy, still towering over her mother. Roy breaks out some fancy dark liquor and makes Aaron have a drink with him and after three fingers Aaron relaxes enough to let Roy get close to him. To settle an arm around his shoulders or just touch his arm in conversation. Jessica will roughhouse. Get them both into trouble being loud and her mother will come in and demand Jessica “leave that poor boy alone, Jessica Brooks. I don’t know why you have to be so mean to him.” And Jessica will wrap her arm around Aaron’s neck to drag him down to her height so she can mess with his hair until Roy finally calls an end to her merciless teasing.

@hotchappreciationweek day 3 - backstory (let’s ignore that it’s super late and nearly Thursday noon for me)

this is me trying

Pairing - hotch/haley

Word Count - ~1.4k

Warnings - death, grief, cancer, abuse, alcohol, religion, religious trauma

“They told me all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential // And my words shoot to kill when I’m mad, I have a lot of regrets about that”