━ 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐌𝐞 !
— pairing; scaramouche x reader.
— summary; you are sandrone of the fatui, your ruin machine spoils and scaramouche is forced to carry you.
— notes; if it's lore inaccurate, it is what it is bc i haven't played genshin in years but this brain worm wouldn't leave me alone and i wrote this. please donate to my kofi or consider commissioning me if you like my work bc im broke and need cash. and know that i am mentally smooching everyone who reblogs my stuff.
❋ Your beloved ruin machine, the one you've meticulously modified to perfection, decides to betray you at the worst possible moment. Gears jam, steam hisses, and the giant collapses with you still perched on top.
❋ It must be divine retribution for all your misdeeds.
❋ And Scaramouche, of all people, is nearby to witness the chaos. His first reaction, as is befitting of someone with a terrible personality, is to laugh. Right in your face. It’s like rubbing salt into an open wound.
❋ “So much for being a genius, Sandrone. You couldn’t keep that heap of junk running?”
❋ Your ruin machine is your only form of transportation, and since you can’t walk without it . . . That leaves Scaramouche to carry you.
❋ And you tell him as such imperviously, still trying to hold onto what remains of your pride even though you’re still stuck atop your ruined creation and unable to move without his assistance.
❋ Scaramouche looks as though he’s debating the merits of leaving you behind, but eventually (and with a lot of complaining) he agrees to carry you. Not out of the goodness of his heart (you strongly doubt that he has one), but because, “We can’t waste any more time with your incompetence.”
❋ He doesn’t even ask for permission — the nerve of him! — and just scoops you up like you’re another piece of cargo to be transported.
❋ You are not happy about being carried in such an undignified manner, and you’re going to make sure he knows it. You manage to find fault in everything; scolding him for his pace, his grip, and how he’s crumpling your very expensive outfit.
“You’re holding me wrong! My arm’s falling asleep.” “You’re walking too fast, I’m going to fall.” “You’re walking too slow, hurry up!” “This position is uncomfortable. I should have let the ruin machine just throw me off instead.”
❋ After what feels like hours (but more than likely is only ten minutes), Scaramouche stops dead, turns his head and hisses, “Keep this up, Sandrone, and I’ll toss you into the nearest ravine. Maybe your precious ruin machine can fish you out — oh, that’s right, it’s broken.”
❋ His threat is laced with just enough venom to make you reconsider continuing your tirade. Instead, you purse your lips tight and fall silent, looking as though you’re sucking on a lemon. Despite his anger, Scaramouche doesn’t actually drop you. Instead, he keeps carrying you, muttering curses under his breath.
❋ You’d rather die than say it aloud, but there’s a strange comfort in the way he carries you. His grip is steady and secure, and you notice he’s careful not to jostle you too much, even when you hit uneven terrain.
❋ Scaramouche, for his part, acts like it’s the greatest inconvenience of his life, but there’s an odd softness in the way he supports you.
❋ (Though there’s nothing soft about the way he dumps you onto the ground once you’re back at camp.)