it's ok to be soft

smol youtube video documenting a birthday celebration 😌

06.09.21 • it’s been a (literally) hot minute!

i was gonna wait to post this photoset until i finished my may recap video, but honestly idk when that’s gonna happen, so i thought i’d go ahead with posting this for now hehe. big things in may !! celebrated my bf’s 23rd birthday, started medication for the first time (i think it’s going well?), and experienced like 5 anxiety/panic attacks all within 3 weeks haha....

had an AMAZING start to my june though !! and i’m hoping i can keep up this energy throughout the rest of it as well~ happy (almost) summer everyone ☀️

thursday, apr 15 • an incredibly belated moving vlog! via 98ths

it took me 4 months of living here to muster up enough energy and motivation to finish this, and i think my main driving thought was: “u gotta have something to document this piVOTal time in ur life before u move out” LOL. honestly, i’m pretty content with how this turned out (even though it’s not really like the super artsy cute high production youtube videos i’ve seen of other apt vlogs) because i really feel like i can rewatch this in the future and remember what it was like to move into my first ~*adult*~ apartment uwu hehe

also I GOT MY FIRST VACCINE SHOT TODAY WOOOOO 🎉

thursday, april 8th • an honest bujo flip-thru on 98ths

when we first entered shelter-in-place, i somehow managed to stay motivated and largely productive + creative for pretty much an entire year, but then when my ~*pandemic anniversary*~ hit it’s like a switch just turned off and i lost so much of my motivation and interest in things 😓

but you know what! sometimes bullet journals are unfinished! sometimes you don’t strike off most of your habit tracker! sometimes you don’t feel like partaking in what you used to enjoy! and even though this feeling might suck! i’m really trying to remind myself not to be extra hard on myself when this does happen!!

sunday, march 14th • my college reflection ep.2 

i may have lost an hour today because of daylight savings, but !! i just published my new ~*journal-with-me*~ youtube video today & i am excited because it is the second installment / official beginning™ to my college memories series 😌 it’s also nice, bc i tried quite a few new things for this one — there’s more storytelling via voiceover; i tried my hand at “art” journal-ing ha hah ha; and i’m sharing a lot more personal stories too huehue

also i think this photo layout style is kinda funky but im kind of a fan LOL hoping everyone has/had a lovely weekend and also pi (3.14) day!

wednesday, march 10th

in a few days, i will have been in “shelter in place” mode for a whole year now !! the thought of that made me realize that none of my friends will have seen me as a 22-year-old living & interacting with the "external world” and the next time we meet again in person i will have already entered my 23rd year on this earth ?? thankfully something akin to an end is in sight and here’s to hoping we can all get the vaccine soon and that this pandemic will be finally, finally mitigated a;lsdkfaoiwejf. as always, stay safe friends 😷

saturday, march 6 • a february recap & march setup

my march bullet journal spread was inspired by my recent feb-cover-up situation 👀 because i’m actually quite liking the additional pOP! of color that i can add into my bujo with the random construction paper i have lying around uwu but ya dis an overview of my spreads that i made in a 10pm-dimly-lit-tired-trance last weekend hAHaha

also im not sure of where to take photos now in my new apt (i miss my old room’s lighting during golden hour ft. the nice flowy curtains), but i’ll figure it out this is small potatoes u know what i’m sayin’

monday, feb 22 • covering up mistakes & moving on 👀

i decided to cover up what was left of my failed journal attempt from my valentine’s date journal fail with a piece of red (kinda sparkly) construction paper !! LOL i kinda like how it looks in my journal~ it’s a nice pop of color that happens to match my marker color for this month quite well uwu

also work has been p demotivating recently and i have been exhausted a;sdlkfja;iejf but i have found a new drama to watch and i have been enjoying it and my boyfriend proposed a picnic date this weekend so u know what wE TAKE THESE WINS 🤧

friday, feb 19 • a valentine’s date to remember 💛

i have officially succeeded with my goal to upload twice this month yEET 😤 hehe i just published a new youtube video about this past valentine’s day with my boyfriend, ft. a semi-failed journaling attempt :eyes: 

and, i just wanted to say a big big big big thank you to everyone here for supporting + engaging with my smol youtube channel !!! i’m very shy and haven’t shared any of my videos with people i know irl—except my boyfriend LOL—so having y’all here to watch and sometimes even ?? comment O: is truly the best feeling !! hehe i read the tags y’all reblog with and i just get so emo....so thankful....thank u all ;u; i hope everyone can have a restful weekend ♥

friday, feb 12 • happy lunar new years !! 🌝

this is a snapshot of my end-of-january recap, and a lil’ corner of my weekly bujo spread ft. a sticker my boyfriend got me for christmas LOL. very very very very very very very looking forward to the three day weekend ahhhhh i can’t believe the next one after this will be in MAY HOW WILL I MAKE IT UNTIL THEN !! 😦

tuesday, feb 9 • living alone diaries

it’s actually kinda funny that i’m sitting in the exact same position as this photo LOL doing the same morning routine that i documented in my new(ish) youtube video in my new(ish) apt !! hehe. i really want to edit something about my experience moving out™ for the first time, so i can remember it in the future, but it’s a lil’ intimidating because there’s so much scattered footage. but !! hoping i can finish that by the end of february 👀

tuesday, feb 2 • living alone diaries ep1, settling in with a new routine ♥

work has been getting a bit more stressful recently, because my manager doesn’t really know how to help early career / university grads very well -- he also doesn’t take upwards feedback very well (is quite resistant to whatever feedback i give him), and is really vague when he gives me my feedback as well sighs. hoping this upcoming year can bring new changes, after he gets feedback from my coworkers as well 😔 this is your reminder to always speak up for yourself and provide upwards feedback !! if they don’t take it, it speaks more to who they are, than to who you are.

friday, jan 29 

i’ve been so busy with work !! and moving in / settling in !! that i haven’t been able to do much else but unpack <> work <> try to get my life together. but i am very much settling into a routine hehe and i’m excited to !! plan for february and start hittin’ some of those more “self-indulgent” creative goals i had for myself ^-^ here are some snapshots of my living room pre-TV c:

saturday, jan 2 • a belated 2021 bullet journal setup heh

i’ve been preparing to move to my new apartment this past week and have definitely slept later than would have liked to, but i’m hoping that the move will be good for me and am very grateful that this is an option i can take in 2021 ;u; hoping there was at least one bright moment on the first day of this new year for you all too <3

monday, dec 28 • getting ready for the end of the year !!

felt such a surge of motivation yesterday night with the recognition that i have the ability to ~*cultivate*~ the life that i want to live !! i think looking back on how i left 2019, entered 2020, and how i am looking towards 2021 — there was so, so much growth that has happened for me! i’d say almost exponential ?? in comparison to the past few years. it’s almost like the culmination of all the information i’ve been picking up & learning about myself these past few years had the time to finally come together to fruition, i think in part thanks to quarantine. maybe also bc i’ve gone gluten-free, but that remains to be verified 👀

tuesday, dec 15 • coming back from an unintended hiatus

hello !! it’s been around a month since i’ve been actually active here on tumblr, and pretty much exactly a month since i last uploaded a youtube video. this past month was really ?? really hard for me, but in a different way than it had been previously while in quarantine. it’s like life always has some way of giving you new things for you to overcome u know. tl;dr though is that i’ve been learning a lot about myself, and i think attachment theory has been (dare i say) life-changing o:

if you are in the mood for some quiet, calm vibes -- come sort thru my sticker collection with me as i begin the final stages of prep for my college reflection journal endeavor !! ^-^

hope everyone has been holding up okay, and i hope that the holiday season is going as well as it can during these times; whether or not you enjoy holiday seasons, i hope you can find things to bring you joy in these remaining days of 2020 and forward ♥

friday, nov 20

so thankful my work is giving me the entire week off for thanksgiving because i was definitely steadily moving towards burn out. not exactly sure what i’ll spend my “free week” doing, but !! i hope i can keep myself busy enough to be content, but free enough to get a little more relaxed hehe. also, i’ve been playing around with makeup for the first time in my life and wow !! what a journey LOL