Aphrodite,*to Apollo*: He is not the love of your life! He is literally just a guy!
Hephaestus: ...Hit him with your car
Apollo: Google. Stop showing me sex ads!
Apollo: I know there are desperate sluts in my area! I have a mirror
Artemis,*going to meet up with Athena*: I’ll be back at 6:00 I’m going on a date.
Apollo: WAIT! Mom said I could come with!
Artemis: Bro….Your not COMING ON MY FUCKING DATE-
*Two hours later, Apollo sitting between the girlfriends, smiling*
Hermes: Why am I out here lying about the smallest things for no reason?
*2 hours before*
Apollo: How was your morning?
Hermes: It was good! I had waffles for breakfast!
Apollo: Oh cool. Anyway *explains the plan for the day*
Hermes,*in his mind*: I DID NOT HAVE WAFFLES FOR BREAKFAST!

Apollo: Love is an empty emotion in this black hole we call life….
Zeus: Apollo, this is no time to recite my wedding vows
“What not to say to someone who just came out” Greek god Edition.
Zeus:
Hades:
Poseidon:
Hera:
Artemis:
Aphrodite:
Hermes:
Dionysus:
Apollo:
Hephaestus:
Demeter(she's fucking with you):
Athena:
Ares:
Eris:
Hecate:
Hestia,(Only to her siblings as a joke):
Hebe:
Thanatos:
(Honestly I'll come back and edit this but for now enjoy!!)
Hermes: I think that funerals have gotten boring and we need to incorporate themes.
Hermes: like the Met Gala.
Hermes: For example when I pass away?
Hermes: Batman theme.
Apollo,*speaking at Hermes' funeral, dressed as Catwoman*: Hermes has left us far too soon.
Dionysus,*sobbing while dressed as the joker*: But we will not let his memory go in vain-
*texting*
Ares: :)
Apollo: :)
Ares: Hey.
Apollo: Hey.
Ares: Hey what?
Apollo: You said hey first??
Ares: Ok.
Ares: 🥐
Ares: Fuck you.
Hestia: Hey weird question but would you guys fuck your clone?
Hades: I don't want to fuck my clone because that would be gay sex and I'm not gay.
Ares: I'm not gay, but I would actually totally fuck my clone.
Artemis: I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone, that's gross and weird.
Aphrodite and Demeter: I'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck ME than ME!
Poseidon: I'd totally do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.
Apollo and Hera: To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.
Hermes: It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.
Athena: It's not the same as masturbating; t'd be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad.
Hephaestus: I would not have sex with my clone cause what if my clone is evil.
Dionysus: Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that's how pro clone-fucking we are.
Zeus: All of those feelings and decisions in a specific order.
Hestia: You guys are nasty and I'm, frankly, a little concerned.
Lee again, how about Apollo x Ares? I’ve seen that ship around
These two are my babys
Himbo x Twunk supremacy fr
They just complement each other in the best ways to me. Also the god of Dance and the god of music together is so pleasing. There is a lot more but yk <333
Ares: Hey nerd!
Athena, Apollo, Artemis, Hephaestus, & Persephone*: *turn around to look at Ares*
Ares: Oh, you all turned around? Wow.
Apollo: You are fantastic!
Artemis,*whispering to Ares*: Compliment him back!
Ares,*to Apollo*: I like your back.
Artemis,*whispering*: No! I meant say something nice about him!
Ares: But I do like his back.
Athena: What's your most controversial video game hot take?
Apollo: The pursuit for photorealism in games is a fruitless endeavor that only results in bloated file sizes that take too much space.
Artemis: Mario is a woman and just really butch.
Gods reactions to you asking them for pads (Idk i'm bored)
Zeus
Poseidon
Hades (he is confused)
Hera
Demeter
Hestia
Athena
Ares
Apollo
Hermes
Artemis (she get's them just doesn't respond)
Aphrodite
Dionysus
Hephaestus (He's also confused)
Eris
Persephone
I feel like some of these are wrong so idk
Apollo: It’s only 20 minutes away!
Athena: I’m not a taxi, dude. If you want a ride, you’re gonna have to give me money.
Dionysus: But wouldn’t that make you a taxi? To take money for rides?
Athena: ...
Apollo: ...
Dionysus: ...
Athena: Fine, I’m a taxi.